Between Love And Hate
by chartwilightmom
Summary: AH/AU, OOC Bella has a secret of three past lovers, all married men, behind her. She feels unworthy of love due to her past relationships. Edward feels that she is worthy of love, his love to be exact. And he is going to prove it to her.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Big thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta. And in no way shape or form to I condone adultery._

BPOV

Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock.

I glanced over at the brass antique clock on his bedside table.

Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock.

Almost six am. I climbed out of bed and slipped on his white button-down shirt.

Sleep was never something that was a necessity for me. I rarely slept more than four hours at night.

With heavy guilt waiting in the wings to start, I padded over to his bedroom balcony window, opened the doors, and stepped outside. I was greeted with a nice warm morning breeze. I walked over to the railing and looked out at the awesome view before me. Seattle from this high up was beautiful. The city was just starting to wake up, the traffic starting to build, with the guilt gathering in my chest.

How could I do this again? _I had to stop. This is the definitely the last time._

I heard the door open from behind me.

"Bella, honey, what are you doing out here?" His voice was smooth as glass. He came out on the balcony and leaned beside me on the railing. I was not in the best of moods. I never am after sleeping with him. He was close enough to touch me but never touching. He was always very cautious after our time together-never touching; it was too personal. He had slipped on his pajama pants, leaving his toned upper body exposed and tempting. Oh yeah, I remember why I fell into his bed again. _Lust._

"Aro, baby, you know I can't sleep. I am just thinking about my latest project," I easily lied. Lying was the only way to keep a certain conversation from happening.

"You know that you can come back to bed. Jane won't be home until next week." He was always trying to get me to stay longer. And, as tempting as that was, the guilt was already tearing at the whole in my heart. The guilt was always the same; that having sex with married men was wrong.

"As much as I would love to stay, I really need to be going. I have some errands to run before heading back to Grand Estates." The summer was starting, and the pool was waiting.

Leaving was not the right answer that he wanted to hear, but it is better than saying _No, I can't stay and I should have not slept with you again. You are a married man and this is wrong._ "Plus, I have to go to the airport to pick up Alice's brother."

"Oh, you mean Edward? Have you ever met him?" His curiosity peaked at the mention of Edward.

"No, Alice never really talks about him." She talked way too much as it was, just never about Edward. I was shocked that I really didn't know much more than his name and that he was in medical school. I thought brothers and sisters were supposed to be close. Not the case with Alice and Edward.

"The last time I saw him, he was turning into a very cocky young man. Better watch yourself with him," He stated with a fatherly tone.

"That's right, you are close with his father, Carlisle. That reminds me, are you coming this summer?" I asked, needing to prepare myself for what the summer would bring.

If Aro was spending his summer at Grand Estates, then the temptation would be there to sleep with him again. I was messed up enough from my past relationships with married men, and I was determined to make a change to control myself.

"Off and on; I have too many projects here in Seattle to spend the whole summer at Grand Estates. As much as I would love to be there all summer, it is always business comes first. Besides, you know when we are there I have to play the loving husband and father. By the way, did you know that James is going to be there all summer? You better make sure you watch yourself with him as well. I think he still loves you." Again, with the fatherly tone.

_What is it with the fatherly tone?_ _Was he my lover or my father? There I go with the daddy issues._

"Well, he can think what he wants. Nothing is going to happen with him and me ever again." The James chapter of my life was closed as far as I was concerned. James was my high school sweetheart and Aro's son.

James was my first everything and a really sweet guy, but when we graduated high school, I knew that I had to make a break. After all, I really did not love him and it was unfair to keep stringing him along. We went to separate colleges so we did not keep in touch, but I knew what he had been up to through his father.

Pillow talk is a good way to keep track of what has been going on.

He had graduated from college last year like I did and was working in Miami in a marketing firm, instead of going to graduate school like myself. But, of course, he was not a struggling artist like I was. School was the only option to keep me stringing along until the real world knocked on the door.

Aro Volturi was my first married lover-married,of course, to a bitch of a woman, Jane. They had an _understanding_ in their marriage. That might be why she spent most of her time in Europe. Indiscretions were always easier when one party was in another country.

We hadn't been together in years, but my little trip to Seattle for the weekend allowed him the opportunity to 'accidentally' bump into me and woo me into his bed once more. And when I say accidentally, I mean that he knew exactly where I would be in Seattle. Having his own private investigator made things easier for Aro when it came to tracking me down. I tired to keep my distance from him ever since I broke off our relationship.

That relationship added to the guilt that I was not who I could be. Guilt is always apart of my life; I seem to swim in guilt by not living up to the ideal Bella-the perfect daughter, the best little sister, the productive artist, and of course someone worthy of love.

I never intended to become involved with a married man, but some how one married man evolved into three. I knew that I was a complete mess and a fuckup. No wonder I could not have a normal relationship. I had stop. _I could be normal, right?_

I left him on the balcony and went to the bathroom to shower and get dressed. When I came out, he was casually laying on the bed waiting for me.

Aro was very handsome, which was one of the major things that attracted me to him in the first place. His good looks was the only thing that was like father like son. James did not inherit any of Aro's charm or confidence.

Aro was only forty-four, and he was very fit, with toned muscles everywhere; being an avid runner, biker and swimmer will keep you in shape. He had this jet-black hair that was short and nicely tailored to his face. And his very silky skin was the color of vanilla ice cream.

He sat up on the bed and looked at me as though I shot his puppy.

"Aro, don't look at me like that, I really have to be going. Don't make me call Alice."

We thought we had managed to keep our relationship a secret, but somehow Alice found out. It was like she knew about everything that went on, and she never did tell me how she found out.

"Oh, please don't do that," he said putting his hands in the air like I had a gun on him. "I still have not recovered from the last time she berated me for 'taking advantage' of you."

After Alice found out about my relationship with Aro she confronted him; sitting him down for a lecture like he was a teenage boy who got caught feeling up the preacher's daughter during church. For a man that was old enough to be her father, and was one of her father's closest friends, he took it quite well and swore to Alice he would leave me alone.

But I never swore anything, hence him having his PI, tail me, so that he could get me to make the first move back into his bed.

This relationship started with Aro making the moves for us to sleep together. I was an adult but was naïve when it came to sex and relationships with men. But, once I had that sexual confidence, I took the initiative with making the first move.

Aro knew that I would make the first move if I was put in the right situation, and took advantage of it while I was alone in Seattle for the weekend. He wanted me in his bed and he always got what he wanted.

So that puts me right back here, in his penthouse apartment, in his Volturi Towers, trying to leave from yet another mess that I had gotten myself into.

_Time to let the guilt take its course and rip my heart apart._

I knew, once I returned to Grand Estates, Alice would be there and know what I had done and would be lecturing me on my life, yet again.

I put my bag over my shoulder, signaling that I was leaving. "Just give me a kiss and I'll leave you to ruling your kingdom. I am sure that you have something important to do today. You don't need me hanging around."

He got off the bed and swaggered over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his body, embracing me in a gentle but firm hug before placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

"You are never the one to just hang around for me, Bella."

I knew what he was trying to tell me; that he hoped for me to stay longer, both in his bed and in his life. There was no reason for me to travel back down this road with him again. I needed to stop sleeping with married men.

"Thanks, Aro." I gave him a hug back.

He didn't say another word as I freed myself from his embrace and left his penthouse. I knew there wasn't anything that he could say to change my mind of leaving. The guilt was setting in and there wasn't room for anything else in my mind. I got in the elevator and stared into the reflection on the mirrored doors as they closed.

I had on a dark navy blue sundress that flowed down almost to my ankles. I wore my favorite leather flip-flops. To the average person there looked to be nothing wrong, but if you could read my mind, you would know that I was a complete mess. The doors opened to jar me from my metal torment.

I threw my bag in the back and climbed in my Jeep. Since it was summer, I had all the doors and the roof off. The warm sun was a perfect way to enjoy the day and remove my mind from the guilt of sleeping with Aro again.

This was the last time that would ever happen. I had to make sure of that.

I had plenty of time to run a few errands after grabbing a quick breakfast. I went to the art store for some supplies and the tattoo shop for a quick consultation for my next inking at the end of the summer.

I began to wonder what kind of brother Alice had; from what Aro was implying, it sounded like there was a reason why she never talked about him.

After my errands, I dropped by Jessica's for some quick girl bonding.

She was my best friend from high school, and we kept in touch all through college, but had not really seen much of each other during the past 5 years. Graduate school was busier than college, so my time was limited. I had to squeeze in as much Jessica-time as I could while we were both in Seattle.

We ended up having lunch, which made me late getting to the airport. When I arrived almost an hour late, I drove right to the baggage claim, hoping that Edward wouldn't be too mad. I was wrong.

There was only one person standing on the curb. He was not moving towards one of the taxis or a shuttle bus so I assumed that must be Edward. I pulled up in front him. He was tall, wearing a nicely tailored blue, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up his arms, dark jeans and flip-flops. He had sunglasses perched on his head, which were almost completely lost in the mess of bronze hair that he had, which could only be classified as sex hair.

He spoke first.

"So you must be Bella." His tone gave his anger away.

_Oh shit, here we go._

"Yes, and you must be Edward." I was trying to be as nice as I could, overly sweet; kill him with kindness sweet.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing coming to pick me up late? Is this the kind of friends that Alice has these days? I should have never counted on her to help me."

_Well, nice manners._

I knew how to respond. No response. Keep silent. I would let him have his little temper tantrum like a five-year-old child.

"Aren't you going to say anything? Where have you been? I have been waiting for almost an hour." He was starting to fume.

The longer I sat there and did not say anything, just looking at him, the redder his face got. He seemed to hit a boiling point when he starting to huff and puff like he was going to blow a gasket. He finally came over to the Jeep and threw his bags in the back.

He was still fuming when he sat down in the passenger seat and started to buckle up.

I took this as my opportunity to put him in his place and I unbuckled my seatbelt, crawled over the center, and straddled his lap facing him. I looked him squarely in the face to give him a piece of my mind; he had a look of shock as to what I was doing. I took off my sunglasses and looked into his emerald green eyes. _Oh my_.

"Now see here Edward. Not sure what you know about me, but you do not talk to me like that. And you certainly don't disrespect your sister in front of me. If you ever fucking talk to me like that again, I will cut your dick off and feed it to the wolves. Got it?"

A nice, easy threat. Jacob and RC would like it. Jacob and RC are my BFFs and lifelong friends of mine. Beyond Emmett, my older brother, they were the closest things to siblings that I could have. They were always telling me the importance of protecting myself from assholes; which at the moment, Edward was a grade-A asshole.

His mouth was opening and closing like a fish trying to breath out of water. He was trying to figure out how to respond to my threat. I pulled his sunglasses off of his head and placed them over his eyes. Then I did the same with mine. I gave him a quick smirk and crawled off his lap and back in the driver's seat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_AN: at the end  
_

EPOV

_What. The. Fuck._

Right now, Alice is on my shit list. How did I ever let her talk me into sending someone to pick me up from the airport? I knew that I should have rented a car. I hate waiting. And I hate relying on someone else even more. I am going to kill her when I see her.

My day started out well. The plane ride was on time, and I didn't lose my luggage. Coming back home was a mistake. I should just get back on the plane and fly back to Chicago.

I have lived in Chicago for the past 5 years. I have already graduated from the University of Chicago and spent the last year studying for the MCAT's. I want to go to medical school; I want to be a doctor like my father, Carlisle. So after passing the MCAT's just a month ago and having my choice of any med school in the country, what do I do? I decide to come home and attend Seattle University, which just happens to be where my father attended med school.

I deserve to go where I want. I did not work my ass off, attending class almost year round with summer school, and staying during the holidays to study, to not get ahead. Sure Mom and Dad were upset that I never came home so they opted to come to Chicago to visit me.

Staying away from my family was not the smartest decision that I ever made, but it was the easiest decision at the time. Alice made that decision very easy for me. After what she did, her meddling in my relationship with Victoria, it was like she practically pushed me onto the plane to Chicago.

I don't know if I can get past what Alice did my senior year of high school. She always pried, the matchmaker with a blunt mouth. Why could she not see that Victoria and I were happy? Sure, I knew that we had some problems, but I wanted to work things out and make her a Cullen someday. But that will never happen.

_Where the fuck is this Bella?_

I must look like an idiot, standing here like I don't know what the fuck I am doing. Oh wait, I know what I am doing; waiting. It has been almost an hour. _Where the fuck is she?_

Okay, five more minutes and then I'm going to go rent a car.

Just as I go to pull out my phone and start calling car rental companies, a Jeep with no roof or doors pulls in front of me. Sitting in the driver's seat was the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen. She has long, wavy, deep brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. She is wearing a deep blue sun dress that is long enough to cover her legs. She has dark sunglasses that hide her eyes, and she has a slight hint of a tan covering her body. _I'm in trouble._

"You must be Bella." I spat at her.

"Yes, and you must be Edward." She said in a sweet singsong voice. Those charms are not going to work on me. _No way._

"Well, what the fuck are you doing coming to pick me up late? Is this the kind of friends that Alice has these days? I should have never counted on her to help me." I am so angry at this point; I could blow a blood vessel.

She doesn't say anything. _What the hell?_ I at least expect her to apologize or explain where she has been. Keeping me waiting, how dare she?

"Aren't you going to say anything? Where have you been? I have been waiting for almost an hour." I am fuming. I bet I had steam coming out of my ears. No one ever responded to me this way.

I stood there glaring at her. It was like we were having a silent battle of the minds, waiting to see who would crack first. I wonder what she is thinking. _Oh, who the fuck cares?_ Let's just get this over with. I pick up my bags and throw them into the back of the Jeep. I take a seat and buckle myself in. This is not going to be a fun drive.

Just when I thought that we were going to be leaving, she unbuckles her seatbelt and climbs over the center console and straddles my lap, facing me. She raises her sunglasses on top of her head and stares me down. _What the hell is this all about?_

"Now see here, Edward. Not sure what you know about me, but you do not talk to me like that. And you certainly don't disrespect your sister in front of me. If you ever fucking talk to me like that again, I will cut your dick off and feed it to the wolves. Got it?" She spat at me. Boy, she's feisty. I move my hand and subconsciously cover my cock.

Just as I was starting to memorize her expressive eyes, so deep and brown with golden flecks on the edges, she leans in closer, takes my sunglasses off the top of my head, and lowers them onto my face. Her scent rolls off her in waves. It is warm like vanilla and coconuts, exotic and inviting. Well my pants just found their full capacity. She lowers her own sunglasses and removes herself from my lap and now raging hard on_. I wonder if she felt what she just did to me?_

She climbs back into the driver's seat and starts the Jeep.

For the first 30 minutes of the drive, I could not speak. I didn't know what to say. And that never happens to me.

Since the Jeep doors and roof where off, the wind was whipping, and Bella's ponytail was running wild around her face. I took notice that her dress started to creep up her legs as she sped up. She had nice toned legs. _I need to have those wrapped around my back_.

"So, how long have you known Alice?" I was curious to learn more about this wildcat.

"Five years." She calmly states.

"Funny, she has never mentioned you before." How did I not know about this wildcat before? Alice mentioned Bella once or twice on the phone, but we rarely talk. _Hmm, I wonder why she never told me more about Bella?_

"Well, how could she when you never call her." She replies.

Ouch. True, but none of her business.

"How the fuck do you know if I call my sister or not?" How dare she? She has no idea about the history between Alice and me.

"Because she never talks about you. Ever." She confidently states.

"She doesn't need to talk about me." I mumble.

"Aro was right. You are an asshole." I heard her mumble under her breath.

"So what if I am an asshole. What is it to you? Wait. Do you mean Aro Volturi?"

"Doesn't mean anything to me that you are an asshole. Yes, Aro Volturi." She spat back.

"How do you know Aro?" I question her.

"Well, not that is any of your business, but his son, James, is my ex-boyfriend. And Aro happens to own a house at Grand Estates." She replies.

Oh this is too good. _I gotta know more_. James, he is such a pathetic excuse for a male. "James, I haven't seen him in years. How is he?"

She pauses. "I wouldn't know. Remember - ex." Pointing to herself.

"Hmm, ex. So Aro told you that I would be an asshole?" I am pissed that Aro would talk about me to someone who doesn't know me.

"That is none of your business." Oh she is hiding something.

She is intriguing, and intoxicating. I have to know more about Bella. "How in the world did you and James get together?" Let the questioning continue.

"I am from Forks. We were high school sweethearts during our senior year. Aro had sent him to live in Forks with his cousins to keep him away from Seattle." She states quietly.

"Why did you break up?" _I need to know more_. I continue to probe hoping that she does not reject my questioning.

"We went to different colleges and there is the little thing that I did not love him."

"Didn't love him." I state. I know about that one-way road all too well. Victoria and I drove on that road. I had loved her, but she did not love me.

"Why don't you and Alice get along?" She questions me.

"It's complicated." I didn't want to explain our past to a stranger.

"Complicated. I wouldn't know anything about that." She quietly says.

Bella and I sit there quietly for the rest of the drive. We both seem to be deep in thought. I am thinking about the past and what 'complicated' means to me. Alice and I definitely have a complicated past. Even though it has been five years since her meddling ways brought an end to my relationship with Victoria, I still couldn't help but be mad at her.

Before I knew it, we are approaching the entrance to Grand Estates. Bella makes her way through the neighborhood towards my family's house. I wonder how many times she has been to that house. How many summer nights has she enjoyed spending time with my sister and family. Despite Bella's bitchy exterior, she seems sweet. _I wonder if she tastes sweet._

She pulls into the winding driveway at the house. It has really been too long since I have been here. But everything still looks the same. The surroundings are green and lush. Everything is exactly as I remember it. The house is three stories, modern design with simple and elegant landscaping. I hope that my room on the third floor has the view that I remember, expansive and solitary.

The Jeep stops in front of the house and the front door opens. Alice is standing there with her arms wrapped around someone I assume is Jasper. I have seen pictures and spoke to him on the phone a few times during the past five years, but we had never met in person until now.

Jasper is Alice's college sweetheart. He is tall and lean with a wave of blond hair. He seems to have a calm aura about him with a twist of confidence. I don't remember ever seeing Alice that happy before. She is beaming. Jasper must have this effect on her. I am jealous and happy for her. I'm also mad. She has no right to be happy when she ruined what I had with Victoria.

I get out of the Jeep and reach for my bags. Alice and Jasper come down from the porch to help me.

"Edward, glad you made it." Alice greets me. "Edward, this is Jasper Hale. Jasper, this is my brother Edward." He extends his hand.

"Nice to meet you." I returned the gesture and shake his hand. "Alice, is there a reason that you sent someone irresponsible to pick me up from the airport?" I direct my anger towards her.

"Nice to see that you are still an asshole, Edward. Bella happens to be very responsible. I am sure that she has a good reason for being late." She is making excuses.

"Jessica." Bella states.

Alice walks around the Jeep to Bella. "Oh, how is she? How was Seattle?" She states as she leans in to hug Bella.

"I don't want to talk right now. I'll see you later. Bye, asshole." She spat at me before pulling off back down the driveway.

"What the hell, Edward? Bella is one of my best friends. Why do you have to be such a dick to everyone?" Alice questions.

"She was almost an hour late. You know I hate waiting. I should've just rented a car." I state while gritting my teeth. _No, I am not going to rip her head off right now. I can be calm about this._

I take my bags and go into the house. "Is my room still the same?" I point to the stairs.

"Yes, asshole." She spat back with a smirk on her face.

"Fine. I'm tired. I am going to cleanup and rest." I stalk up the stairs to my room. I hope that I will not see them until tomorrow.

I am so glad that my room has not changed in five years. I have the whole third floor to myself; three floor-to-ceiling glass walls that allowed me to view the mountains and woods on a panoramic scale. I have my own private luxury bathroom. It's just a slice of heaven, no one to bother me.

I start to unpack. I notice some of the boxes that I shipped back in the corner of the room. Mom had my room cleaned so the sheets were gone from covering the furniture, and everything seems in place. I glance over all my books and music. Not that I needed CDs and albums anymore; my I-pod had it all.

While I was unpacking, I start to think about Bella. She is so beautiful, and feisty. She is also intoxicating but a bitch. _I bet she is great in bed._

I have basically been celibate for the past five years. A one-night stand would happen here and there, but I hadn't wanted any relationships. School had been the focus. Now that I was entering med school I wouldn't have time for anything again. So this summer, I decided to come home and rest and enjoy myself. _I bet Bella can help me enjoy myself._

I wasn't in the mood to play nice with Alice, so I decide to skip dinner and just head to bed. I take a hot shower to help me relax, grab a book, and climb into bed. But instead of relaxing, I end up having the most erotic dream starring Bella.

_We are back in the Jeep, and she was still straddling my lap. Instead of her lowering my glasses to my head, she leans in and whispers in my ear "Please let me make being late up to you. Let me give you a proper homecoming."_ _She reaches down and unbuttons my jeans. I'm going commando, of course. She reaches in and startes to stroke me. "God, that feels great," I purr back in her ear._

_She lifts up and pulls her dress over her head. _Commando as well I see._ She moves her body closer and lowers herself on me. "Oh God Edward."_

_"That's right wildcat. I'm gonna make you scream my name " my husky voice told her. She starts rocking me. I grab her hips to help her rhythm. _Oh this is too good._ She starts screaming my name. "Edward!"_

I sit straight up in bed. My cock is in my hand and my sheets are wet. It was just a fucking dream. Bella never fucked me. _Shit._

I look over at the clock on the nightstand. It is only two a.m. I go to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I come back to my bed I remember the wet sheets. _Fuck it, I'll put new sheets on the bed tomorrow._ I pull all the sheets off of the bed, throw them on the floor, climb back in and pull a blanket over me.

I wake up the next morning at my normal six a.m. No alarm clock needed; I seem to have an internal clock that tells me when I have had enough sleep. I walk over to the bathroom to get ready for my morning run. I obviously have some pent up energy that I need to workout. And now that I was out of school for a little while, I could enjoy daily exercise again.

I put on a loose tank top and jogging shorts. I take my I-pod, place it into the arm holder and strap it on. I place the ear buds in my ears. I start looking for the perfect music this morning; scrolling, oh yes, The White Stripes, hit play.

As I step outside the front door of our house and stretch in the driveway, I cannot help but breathe in the warm morning air. I take in deep breaths as I enjoy the strong pull of my muscles. I take off on the path next to the garage that wraps throughout the neighborhood. This is exactly what I need. A good run is just the thing to clear my head of Bella.

The woods are great here. Green surrounds you everywhere you look. There are ferns that cover the ground that is not apart of the path. The trees are tall and majestic. The sunrise is shinning through the branches making the woods seem surreal.

As I round part of the golf course and head towards the tennis and swim club, I start thinking about Bella again_. Damn it._ She has completely infiltrated my mind and my dreams. That dream is one of the hottest wet dreams. I don't know what I am going to do about being around this wildcat everyday, but being an asshole is a must for my survival.

I slow down at the edge of the pool complex. I notice that someone is in the pool swimming. Who would be swimming this early in the morning? I know that the pool does not open until ten. I jog over closer to the edge of the fence to see who is in the water. Whoever it is, they are swimming laps, freestyle and very gracefully too.

The person stops when they reach the edge of the pool and stand up to remove their goggles. Correction, female; she turns around and hops out of the pool. _It's Bella, and she is wet._ I am far enough away from where she is that she does not see me. I move over to position myself behind one of the clubhouse walls to continue watching her. _God, I am such a pervert._

She moves over to the outdoor shower to rinse off. She has her hair pulled back in a braid. As she turns on the water and steps underneath it, she starts to undo her braid and pull her long hair apart. She closes her eyes and lets the water run over her body. She is gently running fingers through her hair to loosen the braid. _Oh how I wish I were those fingers._ The water cascades along her body; her face and chest are flush red from swimming. She starts to move her hands on her body to help scrub the pool water off of her. She has the most pleasant look on her face; like she is dreaming about something pleasurable. If I were touching her body, there would definitely be nothing but pleasure.

Oh that body. Yesterday, I could not tell what kind of curves that she had wearing that loose sun dress. All I knew was that she was petite but toned. But now, seeing her in a simple one-piece bathing suit, you can see every curve; supple breasts that beg to be palmed and a round firm ass that needs to be spanked. You can tell that she swims regularly; toned muscles and a slight hourglass shape that makes me want to grab onto her hips, pull her to me and never let go. God she was beautiful. _I am so fucked._

I need to get out of here, but I need to think of something else to get rid of the Bella-induced hard on. Okay, grandma, baseball, schoolwork, dissecting a pig for biology. _That did it._ I take off back to the path and sprint back to the house. I head right for my bathroom for a shower.

Now, to jerk off or not jerk off, that is the question. Okay, jerk off. The images of Bella wet arre just too good to pass up.

I strips immediately and step into the shower. As I stand under the hot water, I start to think of Bella in the shower with me, wet and wanting. I am instantly hard again. I lather up and movemy hand to my throbbing cock. _She comes towards me with lust and desire in her eyes. She moves to stand behind me and reaches around to take my cock in her hands. She gently strokes me while placing kisses along my neck and back. She continues to stroke me and works one of her hands up to my nipples. _God her mouth and tongue are fantastic_. Her head moves back up to find my ears. As she sucks my ear lobe, she starts the most amazing twisting action on my cock. So...ready...to come....oh God._ I blast the wall and my legs fall weak. I have to lean against the shower wall to prevent myself from falling down. I finish my shower trying not to think about her again.

_God, I am so fucked!_

I get ready and head down stairs for some breakfast. Alice and Jasper are sitting on the back porch enjoying their morning coffee.

"Good morning dear brother," Alice chirps. It seems that she forgot what an asshole I was to her yesterday.

"Alice. Jasper," I curtly reply. I am not in the mood to be nice. My morning jog and shower activity have drained me.

"What do you have planned for today?" Alice questions.

"I don't know other than the pool, golf and tennis. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I thought that we could hang at the pool, have some lunch at the clubhouse, hit the grocery store and then have some friends over for a cookout this evening." She always has her day planned out.

"Okay. Just don't expect me to be too social with your friends." I state.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't want you to go out of your way or anything. I just thought it would be nice to reintroduce you to society." She snaps back while smirking at me.

"Blunt as always I see." I retort.

"Just be nice. You can handle that, I imagine. We'll leave here before ten so we can get the good seats at the pool."

"The good seats? What are we going to a show?" I question.

"Oh, you have no idea my dear brother. Just wait and see." She replies with a grin.

Well, she has piqued my curiosity. Maybe this would be a fun summer after all. I go back into the house and grab some coffee and fruit. Sitting at the kitchen island eating, I wondered what kind of things go on at the pool these days. When I was a kid, I don't remember anything exciting that happened at the pool. I had spent most of my time in the water though, but maybe now that I am an adult, things would look differently from a lounge chair.

After breakfast, I head back to my room to get ready for the pool. I put on my black board shorts, a simple gray t-shirt, and grab my book and my other stuff for the pool.

Alice and I ride with Jasper in his Yukon Hybrid. _God, I can't wait to get a car._ I hate riding with other people. I love to drive; drive fast. I lived right next to campus while in Chicago, so I had no need for a car. I usually took a taxi or the train everywhere I needed to go. Dad told me since I am moving back to Seattle I could pick out a new car this summer. I plan on going car shopping next week.

We pull up to the pool complex and park. As we get out and approach the pool entrance, I notice a group of lifeguards on the pool deck stretching and talking. There were five total lifeguards; three guys and two girls, all wearing red bathing suits. As we get closer, I notice that one of those girls was Bella.

_Oh, this is going to be interesting._

_**AN: **This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Big thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta. And in no way shape or form to I condone adultery. I want to says a VERY BIG HELLA THANKS to no.1twilightluver for all of her support-thanks A._

_Just R&R and tell me if you love it or hate it!  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Big thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta.**_

_**And in no way shape or form to I condone adultery. **__**Ashley-this one is for you!**_

BPOV

I am laying in bed starring at the ceiling again. No tick-tock this time. No Aro, just me, alone. The way it should be. I glance over to look at the clock, four-thirty am. I might as well get up. I am not going to get any more sleep.

I stretch in the bed and rub my eyes. _God I'm tired._ Tired because of the guilt and from all the other crap in my life. And to make matters worse, a new asshole to deal with. _God, why does he have to be so beautiful?_

I get out of bed and walk over to the window. It's still dark outside. I turn and walk into the spare bedroom across the hall. It used to be Charlie's but since he hasn't been home in four or so years, I turned it into my art studio. No sense in wasting the space. If he ever comes back, I will be sure to give him his room back.

_Hmm, an empty canvas. What to do?_ _Oh, I remember, paint something stupid._ I pick up my favorite sable brush. _Oil or watercolors?_ Well, I need to release this guilt. Oil it is. Oil is much heavier to handle on the brush. Oil allows me to paint with more passion and feeling. Painting has always been the best way to work out my emotions; expelling them from my mind and body. I hit each brush stroke with as much intensity as I can; trying to force my feelings onto the canvas. And guilty was how I was feeling.

An hour and a half later and I have successfully covered the empty canvas. Blacks and purples, swirls and curves. The guilt was starting to let up on my head and my heart. _Thank God._

I go about cleaning up a little before getting ready to head to the pool. Time for my morning swim. The one great thing about being the head lifeguard at Grand Estates is having those magical keys that open the pool whenever I want. No one is usually up and around at six in the morning, so I can easily get away with a morning swim before starting the day.

I hop into the Jeep and head to the Grand Estates pool complex. Once I start swimming laps, I let my mind work more on what happened this past weekend. Of course sleeping with Aro again was the wrong thing. _I have to take control._ _That cannot happen again._ Then there is Edward. What an asshole; but a beautiful asshole. _And God that hair._ _I wonder what it feels like. I bet it is soft and thick._

_Okay, what are you thinking? This is Alice's brother. Off limits. Oh, and remember that you are no good-for anyone. So just forget about it._

I keep on swimming, freestyle. Freestyle always gives me the best workout. Lungs breathing, pulse racing, soothing and relaxing with each entry of my hand and the pull of the water. One more lap and I will be done. I stop when I reach the edge of the pool. I stand up and pull off my goggles, place my hands on the side of the pool and hop out. The warm morning air feels great against my flush skin. Most people don't know that you can actually sweat in the water when you swim for exercise. It has always been my preferable method of staying fit.

I pad over to the outdoor shower to rinse off. I turn on the water and stand underneath it, letting the cool water cascade down my body; so pleasant and soothing after an invigorating swim. I pull my rubber band out and start to finger my hair loose from my braid. I close my eyes and start to think about Edward again. I noticed yesterday that he has these majestic hands, definitely a doctor's hands. Strong and secure with long fingers. _I wonder what his fingers would feel like in my hair or other places…. Stop it!_

I continue to rinse off, running my hands over my body to get the chlorine off. Turning off the shower, I had the funny feeling that I was being watched. _Silly Bella._

I grab my towel and head to the bathroom to change into a dry suit. I finish re-braiding my hair into a tight French braid, apply my Bullfrog sunscreen and throw on my red guard shorts. Now time to get the pool ready for the staff to arrive and daily opening. Time to start the day.

After vacuuming the pool and prepping the water system, I have just enough time to eat a little something. I grab my granola bar and sit at my desk in the guardroom. Just as I was finishing, Angela comes in.

"Hey Bella. Have a nice time in Seattle?" She inquires as she walks over to the couch to sit down. Angela is my best guard and a hell of a friend. We have been in school together our whole lives. When Jessica was around, we were the three amigas. _God, I miss those days._

"Good. Did you have a nice weekend with Ben?" Ben and Angela where high school sweethearts and are still together presently. They are living together working as teachers, Ben as a science teacher at Forks High School and Angela as a second grade teacher at Forks Elementary. They are such a cute couple; I highly expect that they will be engaged by the end of the summer and married before the end of the year.

"We had a great weekend. Hiking and camping as usual. Ben is parking the car, he should be here in a minute." Ben and Angela both work at the Grand Estates pool each summer with me. The pay is outstanding and we are allowed to accept tips. _Who could resist?_

"Great. Now all we need is Eric and Tyler to show up and we can have my wonderful staff meeting." I hate staff meetings. I hate them even more since I have to lead them. But I guess that is the price to pay for being head lifeguard. _And the pay wasn't that bad either._ It allows me the cushion to not have to work extra jobs, beyond life guarding at the on-campus pool, during the school year.

I have just finished my first year of graduate school, and was taking the summer off to work on my portfolio. My advisor, Sue Clearwater, told me at the end of the school year, to spend this summer beefing up my portfolio with lots of finished pieces. She wants me to apply for a fall fellowship in New York at the end of July. I know that I don't have a chance in hell of getting it, but it's nice to expand my pieces to help my portfolio grow.

"Hey Bella." Ben greets me as he enters the guardroom. He comes over and plops down on the couch next to Angela.

"Hey Ben. You didn't happen to see Eric and Tyler out there did you? I want to get this staff meeting over with." Ben knows how much I hate staff meetings. He laughs.

"Nope. But I am sure that they will be here any minute. You know they _love_ their job." He teases me. Eric and Tyler are a year younger than Ben, Angela and myself, and have just graduated college. They are going to spend their 'last summer' partying and lusting after everything on two legs before looking for a real job this fall. Unfortunately, they lust after me as well; have lusted after me since I got boobs. _Boys._

Thump. Thump. Thump. Okay, that has to be them. No one has a car stereo that loud but those two. A few minutes later Eric and Tyler walk into the guardroom.

"Well hello, Bella," Tyler purrs leaning against my desk.

"Tyler. Eric. Please take a seat so we can get this over with." I point to the empty chairs against the wall.

The guys take a seat and I go over everything for the summer. Since the pool members are limited to the Grand Estates residents and their guests, we don't get a huge crowd. I make sure to mention a 4th of July pool party that Grand Estates is holding for members and their guests and that we are all required to be there to monitor the party. There is nothing like babysitting a bunch of drunken people for the holiday. _Yeah._

"Tyler, you are in the chair first, then Ben, Eric, Angela and myself. Rotate every hour on the hour. If there are more than 25 people in the pool, we will add the second chair. But being that this is the first full week, I don't imagine that the pool will be that full," I state the schedule for the day.

"Cool boss." Eric and Tyler reply in unison.

I glare at them. "Let's get outside and you guys can all stretch and do some laps." I stand up and start to head out the door of the guardroom.

Eric and Tyler are right behind me. "Bella, aren't you going to join us for some laps?" Eric questions me.

"Nope, I did mine already this morning. Sorry you won't get to see me _wet_." I tease back.

I turn and see Eric and Tyler standing in shock with their mouths open. "Come on and close those before you let the flies in. Stretch and get in the pool." I know I shouldn't tease them, but they are too easy.

We all walk over to the edge of the pool and the crew does their stretches on the deck. I hear cars starting to pull up in the parking lot. I look over my shoulder and see Alice, Jasper and Edward. _Great, this is going to be fun day._

The crew gets in the pool and starts swimming a few laps. I monitor their strokes and encourage them to sprint. Part of being a lifeguard is being in shape and remembering your training on saving lives. I have always made my crew swim regularly and encourage competition.

They all come to a stop at the edge of the pool. "Okay, everyone out and one lap sprint race." They all stand side by side about a foot apart at the edge of the pool and get into a diving stance. "On my mark." I blow my whistle. They all dive in and take off for the other side of the pool. Tyler is first to finish, followed by Eric, Ben then Angela.

"Hey Bella." Alice greets me as she enters, followed by Jasper and Edward.

"Hey Alice, Jasper, asshole," I calmly greet them all. I throw a little smirk at Edward.

"Bella." Alice hisses under her breath. "Be nice."

"No problem Alice. Wildcat here can't help it." Edward coolly replies. _Wildcat?_

"Hey Bella, what's my prize?" Tyler questions while wiggling his eyebrows at me. He comes over towards me dripping wet, stopping right in front of me, holds his arms out to hug me.

"You get to keep your job. Good enough?" I curtly reply.

"Yes boss." He replies while lowering his head. He moves back out of my personal bubble, grabs a towel and heads over to the chair and climbs up into it. _Poor guy._

I look back and see Alice with a smirk on her face. Jasper and Edward have gone over to claim chairs for the day.

"Are we in for a good show today?" She asks with a twinkle in her eye.

"Most definitely. You know, the same as last year. And I have already been teasing the boys this morning. This should be a fun summer." I smile in response. The promise of entertainment at the pool today was making me giddy, even though it would most likely come in the form of a prank. _Oh good times_.

The morning creeps along and the pool starts to fill up with members. By eleven, the deck is mostly full of Grand Estates members. _Let the show begin._

* * *

APOV

Oh goody. This is going to be a good day. "Hey honey, can you put some more lotion on my back?" I ask Jasper while bouncing in my seat.

"Sure baby." He moves over to the edge of my chair and starts rubbing lotion on my back. I immediately start to calm down.

"So dear sister, what is this 'show' that you are talking about?" Edward questions.

"Well. Let me give you the run down on the characters and then you can watch for yourself." I joyfully reply.

"Okay." Edward hesitantly replies.

"The 'show' is what Bella and I refer to as the Grand Estates soap opera. You have greed, love, lust and mischief." I nod my head towards the left indicating who is who at the pool. "The couples: Heidi and Laurent Lotta, Felix and Heidi Ricco, his brother Demetri Sesso and his new bride Tanya, Elezar and Carmen Denali and finally Charlotte and Peter Whitlock, Tanya is the oldest daughter of Elezar and Carmen, who married Demetri for his money. She has two sisters Irina and Kate, who are not here today. Kate is also a gold digger, and her current target is the newly divorced Caius, who is also missing today. You should remember Caius, Aro's brother. Aro and Jane Volturi, who are also not here today; and of course you remember James, Aro's son; and Caius's son Riley and daughter Bree from his third marriage, they are over there in the deep end near the diving board." I rapidly go down the roster.

"Demetri and Tanya are the lust factor. They have either slept with or have tried to sleep with everything in Grand Estates. Their house has revolving doors. Felix is the greed factor. He works for Aro and Caius and desires nothing more than to take over their company. Charlotte and Peter along with Elezar and Carmen are the love factor; they have a great deal of love for themselves and others. Elezar and Carmen also have a great love for their daughters and will do _anything_ for them," I continue.

"Yeah, like letting their oldest daughter marry a man twenty years older than her." Jasper laughs.

I snicker but continue. "Riley and Bree are the mischief factor. Those two can cause trouble _anywhere_. Trust me when I say that you need to stay far away from them."

"Where is James?" Edward questions.

"Not here yet. From what I understand, he is planning on being here the entire summer. So I imagine that he will be here by the end of the week." I state.

"What about Caius, Aro and Jane?" Edward continues.

"Caius and Aro are in Seattle and the last that I heard, Jane was in Italy on holiday." I snicker again.

"Why is that so funny?" Edward asks.

"Aro and Jane have an 'understanding' in their relationship. Jane is in Europe with her lovers." I reply.

"Oh." He replies. I can see the hurt behind Edward's eyes after hearing about some of the unfaithful relationships. I know that he has not forgiven me for what happened with Victoria, but I was doing the best thing for him. She would have eventually hurt him a lot worst if I had not meddled when I did. He deserves someone better.

"Now, just sit back and watch. Demetri and Tanya will start circling anyone they have not 'played' with; Bree and Riley will start to cause trouble, and when Caius comes, Kate will be in action." I giggle.

"Don't forget about Bella and her crew." Jasper adds.

"What about Bella?" Edward raises an eyebrow. _Hmm, do I see interest?_

"Bella's crew is made up of people that she has grown up with her whole life. Ben and Angela, who have been together forever. Tyler and Eric, both a year younger than Bella. Ben and Angela, they are the horn dogs. They just graduated from college, so you can see where this is a great place for them to be for the summer." I snicker.

"Bella is what I refer to as a 'dick magnet'. Literally and figuratively." Jasper tells Edward and raises an eyebrow.

"Jasper!" I scold him.

Edward doesn't reply. He knows that he is being an asshole to Bella; Jasper did not need to rub it in his face. But he also has to know that she is the type of woman that isn't going to take his crap.

"She is the head lifeguard and has to pad around here all day making nice with the members. She hates it, but is gracious about it. Just wait and see. I don't think I have ever seen Demetri try so hard before to nail someone." I giggle.

"Oh look, there is Emmett and Rosalie." I point to the pool gates.

* * *

BPOV

Alice has been giving Edward the run down on what we like the call the 'show' for the past hour or so. I am sure that he will be amused with the goings on here as we are. These rich people have nothing better to do with their time than to fuck with each other. It's so funny to Alice and myself; we sit back and watch as all these people make fools of themselves.

"Hey Bells. What's going on today?" Emmett asks.

"Hey big bro. Nothing much, just waiting for Bree and Riley to start something." I inform him.

Emmett is my big brother. He is also the Grand Estates manager, overseeing everything from the homeowners association, security and the facilities. He pops in from time to time to check on me. Even though he was the one that hired me as head lifeguard, he likes to think that I am incapable to take care of things.

He has always been a great big brother. Protective and supportive of whatever I want to do. Just what mom and dad would want him to be. I wish that I had been a better little sister to him when mom died. I was not there for him like he was for me, I checked out mentally when she died. I was only 13 and he was 15.

When mom died, Charlie checked out emotionally and mentally from both of us. He became a ghost of a man that he once was. He barely ate, slept or had interactions of any kind; he performed every activity like he was a robot. He hung around until I hit 18, and then took off. Emmett gets a phone call now ever and then checking in; although we haven't heard from Charlie in over two years.

"Hey Rosalie. Are you joining us for the day?" I question her. Rosalie Hale is Jasper's sister and Emmett's girlfriend. They met in college and have been stuck together at the hip ever since. She enjoys 'the show' and even instigates some of the drama. _She is too much fun._

"Sure Bella. Emmett and I are just going to have an early lunch in the club house and then I'll be hanging out with Alice." She replies with a twinkle in her eye and a smirk on her lips.

"Well, this should prove to be an enjoyable day." I smile back.

"Is that Edward over there with Alice and Jasper?" She points over to their chairs.

"Yes. And be forewarned, grade A asshole." I reply.

"Oh really." She grins.

"No, don't go starting anything sweetheart," Emmett coos.

"Oh, don't worry. I am sure that there will only be some playful banter." She taps her hand on his chest.

Emmett and Rosalie walk over to Alice, Jasper and Edward. It looks like introductions are being made.

I look over at the pool from the front desk and see Bree and Riley in the deep end of the pool. Ben is in the chair leaning down talking to Riley, who seems to be giving him a hard time. I stand up and walk over to the chair to listen in on what is going on. Riley is hanging onto the edge of the pool with his eyes closed making oooing sounds.

"What's going on Ben?" I ask as I approach.

"Nothing. Riley and Bree are just trying to stir things up. It's quite entertaining." He wiggles his eyebrows.

I go over to Riley and squat down to speak to him. "Riley, are you enjoying yourself?" I question him.

He pops his eyes open. "Umm, no." He moves away from the jet. I know exactly what he was doing. _Stupid little 14 year old._

I stand up and head back to the front desk where Angela is stationed. "Ange, I'm going to be at my desk if you need anything." I inform her as I walk past the front desk towards the guardroom. I have a little bit of paperwork that I have to finish to hand in to Emmett. I sit down at the desk and try to focus on what is in front of me, but my mind starts to wonder. I begin to think about my latest painting that I worked on this morning and I start to think about my next piece. Somehow between thinking about my art and what I should be concentrating on for work, I start thinking about Edward. I know that he is out there and that Tanya has probably zeroed in on him_. Why should I care?_ While I was at the front desk, I had noticed him taking off his shirt. _Oh my God_. What a body, so toned, abs that I want to dine off of and lick clean; long arms with toned biceps that begged to wrap around me and hold me close. He was a little pale, but before the end of the summer, I am sure that will be remedied. I made sure that I looked away before I started to drool.

Before I know it, it is lunchtime. I grab my shirt and throw it on as I head out of the guardroom. Ben is now sitting at the front desk. "Ben, I'm gonna grab lunch with Alice. Just buzz my cell if you need anything." I tell him.

"Sure, Bella. Have a nice lunch." He replies.

I look out at the pool one last time to see how things are going. Eric is climbing down off the chair and Angela is waiting to take the post. Most of the members are covering up to head in for lunch at the clubhouse. It should be a quiet lunch. I walk over to Alice to ask her to join me for lunch.

"Ready for lunch Alice?" I ask.

"Sure Bella. Let me throw my cover-up on." She grabs her lace cover up. _Why do they call these things cover-ups when they really don't cover up anything? _"You guys coming?" She questions Jasper and Edward.

They both stand up and pull on their t-shirts. _Damn it._ I really wanted to have lunch alone with Alice.

Alice and I start walking to the clubhouse with Edward and Jasper following.

"Alice, why did you invite Edward? I really wanted to talk to you during lunch." I whisper to her.

"Sorry, Bella. I don't want to leave him out." She replies with a puppy dog look. _Who can resist?_

We all head into the clubhouse and sit down at our regular table. _Yeah-awkward silence!_

Just as I am about to bite into my sandwich, my phone buzzes. "Shit." I jump in response. I had left my phone in my pocket instead of putting it on the table like I normally do. I pull out my phone to check the caller id. It's RC. I wonder what she wants. I hit the button to send it to voice mail. I put the phone on the table and notice Edward starring at me. _What the hell is his problem?_

"So Edward, where are you going to med school?' I question him.

"Seattle University." He curtly replies.

"You start in the fall?"

"Yes."

_Hmm, not very talkative today_. Alice jumps in to continue the conversation.

"How was Seattle, Bella? Did you have a nice time catching up with Jessica?

"Yes." I reply.

Alice has a look of disappointment on her face that I am not talking more about my trip. If didn't know any better, I would bet that she knows that I slept with Aro again.

"Nice to know that you can spare time for your friends." Edward calmly states.

"Yes, some of us are nice enough so that we have friends." I reply with smirk on my face.

"Nice is not a word that I would use for someone who is late picking someone up from the airport." He smirks back.

"Glad to see that you have a vocabulary asshole." I sneer back through gritted teeth.

"Listen Wildcat…" He starts.

Just then my phone buzzes again. I look down, Pool-Front Desk. "Shit. Gotta go." I leap up from the table and sprint back to the pool. When I arrive, Angela is waiting at the front desk pointing to the pool.

"You're gonna love this one." She states as I pass her.

I continue towards the pool. Everyone is out, standing around the edges. Eric and Tyler are standing pointing at the water arguing with Ben. "What the hell is going on?" I demand.

"Look." Ben yells as he points into the pool. Floating the middle of the pool is what looks like a giant turd. _Oh great!_

I think for just a minute and look up to scan the crowd for Bree and Riley. This has to be a prank by them. They are not in the crowd so I look over to the side of the deck and they are sitting on a lounge chair together giggling to each other. I stalk over to them.

"So I guess you guys have discovered _Caddyshack_?" I tease.

"Why whatever do you mean Ms. Swan?" Bree sweetly replies.

"We'll see what I mean when I call your dad and tell him what you've done." I turn around and walk back over to the crew.

"What do you think we should do? Close and drain the pool?" Ben asks.

"Ben, one word, _Caddyshack_." I reply back.

"Shit." He closes his eyes in complete disgust. "Tyler, get the net." He yells.

And hour later, we have gotten the 'candy bar' out of the pool and have informed all the members of the prank and there is no need to worry. The afternoon is calm. Bree and Riley have conveniently disappeared from the pool. No problem for me, I just pick up the phone at my desk and search for Caius's number on the electronic directory. He is not in the office, but I leave a message with his secretary. She laughs at what Bree and Riley have done. Apparently I am not the only one who is on the tail end of their pranks. _Little shits._

Around three, my toddler swimming class is starts. Five little four year olds plus water equals lots of splashing.

After my class, I hop out of the pool, grab my towel and move over to towards the front desk to towel off. I glance over to the trio to see that they are packing up for the day.

Alice heads over towards me with the guys trailing behind her. "Bella, do you want to come over for dinner tonight? We are going to cookout with burgers and dogs." She asks.

"Sure. I get off at six, so I will just change and head over." I reply. I move around to stand behind the front desk.

She smiles and links arms with Jasper before heading out to their car. Edward is behind them and looks to me and smirks.

"Don't drown out there Wildcat." He teases.

"I couldn't do that. Who would be left to ignore your shitty attitude, asshole?" I smirk back.

He unleashes a cocky grin at me. _HolymotherofGod._ For a moment, my legs get weak. It is a good thing that I am already leaning against the desk, because without that support, I would've just fallen to the ground. I am left standing there in shock from his grin as he walks away. _Damn._

The day slowly winds to a close with nothing more from Bree and Riley. I am sure that they are at their house planning a multitude of pranks for the summer. I didn't even get any hassle from Demetri today.

At six I tell Angela and Ben to clean up and that they can close early if the last members are out before eight. Since I was the first one at the pool, I am the first one to leave. I change clothes in the locker room. I just put on a simple pair of low-rise khaki short shorts, sleeveless button-down white shirt, and my leather flip flops. I throw my hair up into a messy bun.

I pull up to the Cullen house, park the Jeep in front of the closed garage and go in through the side door to the mud room that leads to the kitchen. Alice is in the kitchen waiting for me.

"Outside now!" She demands. She reaches out, grabs my arm and pulls me through the house out onto the back deck.

"What the hell Alice?" I question her rough behavior.

She closes the doors and turns to me. She is glaring at me. _Oh no, she knows. How does she know?_ "So, how is Aro?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. You know that I have not seen Aro since last summer. And we haven't '_seen' _each other in several years." I confidently reply.

"Bullshit." She throws back at me.

"What do you mean bullshit?" I retort.

"I mean bullshit Bella. You slept with Aro this weekend. How could you?" She questions.

"Alice," I whine, "You know that this it's none of your business who I sleep with. And this is the last time. I am done, I swear. Done with everything and everyone. I promise." I honestly reply.

"Bella, I love you and I am just looking out for you. Aro is no good for you. And neither are any of the others. You are better than this and you deserve someone that will love you. You know that right?" She tells me as she embraces me with a tender hug.

"I know." I drop my head onto her shoulder. I am fighting the tears and the weight of guilt. I know what she is saying is true; that Aro and the others are no good for me. But I have made this mistake and I have to live with what I did. This is what she forgets, that it was my choice, and because of what I have done, sleeping with these married men, that I am not worthy of love. _And I never will be._

"Good. Now lets have some dinner." She leads me back into the house.

As soon as we are in the house, Alice heads back into the kitchen to get everything finished for dinner, and I go right for the bar. I find the rum, an empty glass, and ice. I start pouring the rum, and I keep pouring_. Okay, top of the glass, that's good, right there._

The first sip burns but helps. With each sip the guilt starts slipping away. It might be more guilt from being caught by Alice more than guilt for what I have done. Before I know it, the glass is empty and I am _warm_. But no matter how drunk I could make myself, the guilt will be there in the morning. _No escaping it._

I should have known that Alice would know about Aro. She knows how to read me like a book. I bet she picked up on the fact that I did not talk about my trip to Seattle. _Damn little tinkerbell._

Alice jars me from my thoughts and comes over to me, and loops my arm to drag me to the table. Once we reach the table, I grab my glass of wine and drain it in one gulp. I grab the bottle on the table and refill my glass.

This is the first time that I take in what is around me, or who is here tonight. Sitting around the table are Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, and Edward, who is seated directly across from me. Edward is starting at me like I have a third head. _What the hell is his problem?_

I sit down and start picking at my food. I must have refilled my wine glass at least two more times. I don't remember eating much of anything. Hell, I don't remember talking. The next thing I remember is waking up in the Cullen's guest bedroom with a hell of a hangover.

_What the hell happened last night?_

**AN: Just R&R and tell me if you love it or hate it!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Big thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta.**_

_**And in no way shape or form to I condone adultery.**_

EPOV

Hmmm. Bella is a 'dick magnet.'

Well, I know that Jasper and Alice couldn't be more right in referring to me as a dick. I've been nothing but an asshole to Bella so far. _I am an asshole._

Alice has given me this roster of people that make up the 'show'. _Now to see it in action_. Everyone is settling in for a day at the pool. Spreading their towels, applying lotion; some are getting ready to swim some laps. I notice Bree and Riley hanging out at the deep end, shoving each other and trying not to get knocked in first. _Stupid fucking kids._

The couple that I assume is Emmett and Rosalie approaches us. "Edward, this is Rosalie, Jasper's sister and Emmett, Bella's older brother." Alice introduces us. I stand up to extend my hand for a greeting.

Rosalie is a beautiful blond bombshell. Shit, she looks like she is carved out of marble; her long legs peaking out from her sundress and long golden hair that would make any model jealous. She was a stark contrast to Alice, who is tiny and petite with dark brown short spiked hair.

I glance over to take in all that is Emmett. Emmett is huge; he has to be one of the biggest fucking guys I have ever seen in person. Rippling muscles, toned, with dark hair and dimples_. I didn't know men still have dimples when they get older_. I can tell that he is Bella's brother. They have some of the same facial features and the same brown eyes with golden flecks on the edges.

"Are you here for the summer Edward?' Emmett asks me.

"Yes, I start med school in the fall." I reply.

Rosalie smirks at me like she is getting ready to say something. Just at that moment, Emmett nudges her arm and speaks, "We'll see you guys later. Rose and I are going to grab an early lunch and then I have to get back to the office."

"Alice, save me a seat. I'll see you guys after lunch." Rosalie tells Alice before leaving. Emmett tows her towards the main entrance of the pool complex.

I continue to look around to see everything that is going on. I notice Bella walking over to the guard stand. She looks up at the guard, I think it's Tyler, and they have a few brief words. She has her eyes focused on the deep end of the pool, but Tyler has his eyes focused on Bella. As she walks towards the deep end, I notice that Tyler is eye fucking her. _Hmm, dick magnet._

Bella squats down to Riley, who is hanging on the edge of the pool with his eyes closed. _I bet he is enjoying those fucking jets._ She says something to him, bringing his out of his thoughts. He looks embarrassed but moves away from the edge of the pool. As Bella walks back to the front desk, I observe that almost every male at the pool is watching her. She goes towards the front desk and disappears into a room behind it and shuts the door.

I start to pull out my book when a shadow appears over me, blocking the sun. I look up to see a fake tanned plastic woman ogling me.

"Hmm. Alice, might you introduce me to your friend?" She purrs.

Without even looking up from her fashion magazine, Alice introduces us. "Tanya, this is my brother Edward. Edward, this is Tanya Sesso." Tanya extends her hand to me indicating that she wants me to kiss it. _Fuck that._

"Hi." I curtly reply, returning my attention to my book.

Tanya seems discouraged and stalks off back to her chair. I notice that her husband, Demetri, is in the pool doing laps. _Poor fucker._

"Nice work dear brother." Alice whispers.

I glance up every now and then to see what is going on. Bella is not around. I guess she is in the office doing paperwork or something. _I wonder what she looks like bent over her desk?_

I hear some loud voices and look up to see Felix and Laurent having a heated discussion. I can only assume that it is about business. They are staring at each other and poised like they are at the O.K. Coral for a shootout. The two men look around and notice that everyone is staring at them. They part each other's company.

I decide to take a quick dip in the pool to cool off. I float around a bit and see Charlotte and Peter hanging out on the side of the pool. As I swim over they introduce themselves; we chat a bit and I find that they are very nice and an enjoyable couple. There is such a stark contrast between the Whitlocks with their easygoing vibe, and the aggressive behavior and attitude from Tanya. _Great, Alice has jaded me._

I hop out and head over to my chair to dry off in the sun. I close my eyes and think about Jasper's theory of Bella being a dick magnet. I noticed all of the men ogling her. She is quite beautiful. But I wonder about the figurative part of that equation. With all of these wealthy and ego-driven people, I can only imagine what kind of 'dicks' that she could encounter on a daily basis.

I am brought of out my thoughts by the sound of her voice. "Ready for lunch Alice?" I hear Bella asks. Just hearing her voice is making me have to adjust my board shorts.

"Sure Bella. Let me throw my cover-up on." Alice stands up and grabs her lace cover up. She turns to Jasper and myself_. _"You guys coming?"

I wasn't planning on this. I wanted to get to know Bella a little better, but I knew that being an asshole was better for the both of us. With school starting in the fall, I know that a relationship isn't something that I need or want.

The girls start walking away. I give Jasper a _what the fuck_ look about Alice asking us to lunch with them. He shrugs his shoulders and gets up to put on his shirt. I grab my shirt and throw it on. We follow the whispering girls to the clubhouse.

Lunch starts off in awkward silence.

Our lunch comes to the table and Bella yelps out "Shit." She pulls her phone out of her pocket and places it on the table, clicks a button, sending the call to voice mail. _Hmm, she like_s_ things that vibrate._

"So Edward, where are you going to med school?' Bella asks.

"Seattle University." I curtly reply.

"You start in the fall?"

"Yes." _What does it matter to her anyway?_

Alice joins the conversation. "How was Seattle Bella? Did you have a nice time catching up with Jessica?

"Yes." She gives a short reply.

Alice gives Bella a look like she knows that more went on during her trip. Alice has this sixth sense, almost like a crystal ball about what is going on. It has gotten her in trouble on more than one occasion.

"Nice to know that you can spare time for your friends." I jab towards Bella.

"Yes, some of us are nice enough so that we have friends." She smirks back.

"Nice is not a word that I would use for someone who is late picking up someone from the airport." I reply with a smirk.

"Glad to see that you have a vocabulary asshole." She spits back through gritted teeth.

"Listen wildcat…" I begin my retort.

Just then her phone buzzes again. We all look down at the phone. "Shit. Gotta go." Bella spits out as she leaps up from the table running out of the clubhouse.

"What the hell Edward? Can't you be just a little bit nicer to Bella?" Alice argues.

"She started it." I whine, sounding like a three year old.

We finish lunch and head back to the pool. Bella is standing in front of almost everyone at the pool. As we get close, I hear her explain that nothing is wrong with the water and that what appears to be human excrement is just a prank by Riley and Bree. _Caddyshack-classic._

Rosalie has joined us. She is laying on her stomach, taking in the sun and having what looks like a nap. We all settle back into our chairs and reading materials. Bella takes the guard stand and again I observe most of the men eyes' following her, watching her every move. _Yeah, unlike yourself asshole_. It is almost like gravity, all of the heads turning in the same direction to watch what she is doing. And I have been sucked into that gravity like every other fucking male. _Hmm, dick magnet._

After she gets off the stand, she heads over to the shallow end of the pool and gets in. Five little kids come over and get in the pool around her.

"Swimming lessons." Jasper explains.

"Oh." I intelligently reply.

I watch Bella from over the top of my book. _Good thing you have dark sunglasses fucking pervert_. She is having fun teaching the kids swimming. She has a radiant glow with a beautiful smile plastered on her face. It is almost contagious; I begin to grin behind my book.

"What are you grinning about dear brother?" Alice questions.

_Fuck, busted._ "Nothing." I turn my attention back to the words on the page.

"He's _ogling_ our dear Bella." Rosalie interjects.

"No I'm not. I am observing the pool and the 'show'." I protest.

"Sure." Alice and Rosalie sarcastically state at the same time.

A little while later, Alice informs us that it is time to go. "We need to run to the grocery store before dinner. Rose, are you and Emmett going to come tonight?"

"Sure. I'm picking him up from his office around 6:30. We'll be there shortly after that." She replies.

Alice heads over towards the front desk where Bella is standing toweling off from being in the pool. She looks so fuckable standing there in her bathing suit, even if it is a one piece. _Fucking gravity_.

"Bella, do you want to come over for dinner tonight? We are going to cookout with burgers and dogs." Alice asks.

"Sure. I get off at six, so I will just change and head over." She replies as she moves behind the desk.

Alice locks arms with Jasper and heads out to his car. I am left behind them looking at Bella who is smirking at me.

"Don't drown out there wildcat." I tease.

"I couldn't do that. Who would be left to ignore your shitty attitude, asshole," She sneers back.

I give her a cocky grin before walking off. She is great for banter. _I bet she is a wildcat in bed too._

Alice, Jasper and I head over to the local grocery store. Jasper and I are wandering the isles while Alice is fluttering around the store gathering items, bringing them back and throwing them in the cart. She looks like she is trying to feed an army with the amount of stuff in the cart.

As she walks away to another place in the store, I question Jasper about Bella. "So, how long have you known Bella?"

"Just a few years. Bella and Alice met in school at SU during their freshman year. They have been pretty close ever since. Like a package deal." He explains.

"She doesn't fucking like me does she?" I muse.

"Well, Bella has a lot going on. She doesn't let many people get close to her."

"A lot going on?" I question.

"It's not my place to tell. Maybe if you weren't such a dick, she might warm up to you." He smirks.

We finish up at the store and head back to the house to prepare dinner.

"Remember to behave yourself tonight Edward." Alice snaps at me as we unload the groceries from the car.

"No problem dear sister." I reply back like the good little boy that I pretend to be.

We unload and put away everything, leaving out the necessary things for tonight. I grab a beer and head upstairs to shower and change. Once I am done, I sit down to relax on the couch in my room listening to some Jack Johnson.

I look out at the view from my window. The sun is starting to set and the sky is turning into what looks like cotton candy. Fluffy pink clouds that you just want to reach out and grab to take a fucking bite. I start to think more about Bella. I wonder what Jasper is referring to that she has a lot going on? She seems like she has everything together to me. Smart, feisty and beautiful. She is definitely going to be a challenge to get to know. Even if I am an asshole to her, I can still get to know her.

Dinnertime. I head down stairs for what is sure to be an entertaining evening. Jasper is in the kitchen but no Alice. "Where's Alice?" I question.

He doesn't say anything but jerks his head to the back door leading out to the porch. I walk over and look out the door. Bella and Alice are having a very intense conversation. _Hmm-I wonder if that is about me?_

I walk back over to see if Jasper needs any help getting the burgers ready for the grill. "What's all that about?" I whisper.

"Don't trouble yourself with what is going on." He raises an eyebrow. _Sure, like that is easy to do now._

The door opens and Alice and Bella come back in. Alice comes over to help Jasper. I look at Bella who is heading straight for the other room. I follow her at a distance and notice that she ends up at the bar in the living room. She goes behind the bar and grabs a glass, scoops some ice and takes the rum and pours herself a very stiff drink. _I bet she's not going to be driving anywhere tonight._

She come back around from behind the bar and stands leaning on it. As she starts sipping her drink, I notice the bottom of her shirt rising up, showing me the most delicious sliver of smooth skin on her flat stomach. Each time she raises her glass, as the drink starts to disappear, her shirt rises up more and more. Then I see it-She is fucking INKED! Right there on her right hipbone. It looks like a flower. I love a girl with ink. So fucking sexy. _I wonder how low that goes._

The front door opens and closes and I decide not to be a pervert by secretly watching Bella anymore. I move towards the front door and run into Rosalie and Emmett.

"Hey Ed, how's it going?" He states as he slaps his hand on my shoulder.

"It's Edward. And fine. You guys want a drink?" I move back towards the bar. Bella is gone. _Fuck._

"Sure, two beers." Emmett requests.

"Make that one beer and one white wine." Rosalie corrects.

"We have wine here at the table!" Alice bellows from the dinning room.

I go and grab two beers from the kitchen and head back to the dinning room. I hand Emmett his and open mine. We all sit down at the table and I notice that Bella is directly across from me. But she's dazed. Her eyes are glassed over. _Guess that rum has hit already_. She robotically finishes one glass of wine and reaches for the bottle to refill her glass. _I wonder what she and Alice talked about to get her to drink like that._

We all start to eat dinner and I notice that Bella is picking at her food, taking only one bite of her burger, but fills up her wine glass at least two more times. She doesn't seem to be talking much , just throwing the appropriate responses back to questions from everyone. At the tail end of dinner, I see a glimmer of anger in her eyes. _Oh shit, this is not going to be good._

"Can you believe that shit that Riley and Bree pulled at the pool today? I cannot wait for Caius to get here so I can explain to him how to raise his own kids and not leave that to the nanny." She spits out.

"Exactly how do you plan to do that, Bells?" Emmett encourages her.

"I'm gonna go up to him and grab him by the balls, since that is the only way to keep his attention, and tell him how it is." She is slurring at this point.

"Oh that will get his attention." I point out.

"What the fuck do you care, _Edward!"_ She slurs back.

"I don't. I just want to be there to see that go down. I am sure that multi-million dollar businessman Caius will appreciate you grabbing his balls. I can't imagine it will get his attention regarding his kids." I reply.

She smirks at me. "Well let me tell you something about grabbing balls…" She stands up, swaying.

Just then she starts to lean a little too far to the right, next to Emmett, who stands up to grab her around the waist.

"Oh, just fuck you and the horse you rode in on _Edward_. Oh what a minute, that was my horse." She drunkenly muses to herself. "Go get your own damn horse, asshole." She completes her rant just as she passes out leaning on Emmett. He pulls her back from the table and grabs her up in his arms.

"Well, that ends the entertainment portion for this evening." Emmett comically states. "Alice, do you mind?" He looks at Alice pointedly.

"Sure," she replies. She gets up from the table and leads Emmett with a peacefully passed out Bella in his arms upstairs. _I wish she were in my arms._ I am assuming that she is going to put Bella in the guest bedroom for the night.

"What the hell is her problem?" I question Jasper and Rosalie.

"If you didn't notice, she had a bit much to drink tonight." Rosalie coolly replies.

"That I did. Why was she drinking so much?" I continue to question her behavior.

"I don't know. She normally doesn't drink like that. Must have been a long day at the pool." Rosalie gives her theory.

Emmett and Alice come back down. "Well, Bella is out for the night. Anyone for dessert?" Alice transitions as though nothing has happened.

I wonder why Bella was acting like that, and towards me? Other than me being an asshole to her, I didn't think that I provoked that fucking strong of a response. There must be something else to her actions this evening.

We finish dinner and dessert and have an uneventful rest of the evening. Emmett and I end up talking most of the night becoming fast friends. He is such a likable guy, very friendly and easy to talk to. He ends up inviting me to join he and Jasper on their regular golfing day tomorrow.

We clean up and I head upstairs for bed. I am more tired than I realize, I strip my clothes down to my boxers and crash into my bed. During the middle of the night I wake up parched. I head downstairs to get a cold bottle of water. As I start back upstairs, I hear talking coming from the guest bedroom. _Bella._

I notice that the door is cracked a little, no light coming through. I quietly tip toe over and lean into the opening of the door. _Hmm, quiet._ I push the door back a little and the light from the hall wall filters in and lands on Bella in the bed. Her clothes are on the floor. She is face down on the bed, facing the door, her hair sporadically displaced around her head and face. She is a vision in that bed, with her tangled body in the sheets, exposing her leg up to her hip. _God I wish she were in my bed._ The sheet is also down around the middle of her back, exposing the delicious sight of the side of her breast. I can see the silhouette of her body under the sheet. _Oh my God those curves._ I instantly get hard.

"Hmm, Edward." She moans and starts to wiggle in the bed.

_What the fuck! Is she dreaming about me?_

I know that if I stand there any longer that I am going to go in that room to wake her up and fuck the shit out of her. I move back and close the door behind me. I go back to my room on the third floor and climb back into bed.

_Fuck me. _I never expected Bella to be dreaming about me. I just assumed that she hated me. But you cannot judge how someone feels about you by the way they act towards you.

Victoria is a prime example of that. She acted as though she loved me. Caring, loving, intimate, and promising. She was anything but. _God how I wish that Alice had been wrong about her_. I know that I cannot hate Alice forever. She did what she knew was right and if I was honest with myself, I would have to admit that it was for the best in the long run. I think I can forgive Alice; I am just not sure how to do that.

Before I know it, I have fallen asleep again, dreaming about Bella. _I am standing in the door of the guest bedroom admiring the sleeping beauty in the bed. Bella opens her eyes._

"_Come to me Edward." She purrs._

_I walk over to the bed, and I notice that I am completely naked and rock hard. Bella sits up in the bed letting the sheet fall from her_, _exposing her naked body. She reaches out for me and grabs my balls_, _pulling me gently to her. I stand between her legs. She smiles and envelops me in her hot wet mouth. I stare down at her plump pink lips as they caress my cock. God, she has a wonderful mouth. She looks up at me with pure lust in her eyes. She reaches down and grabs my hand and brings it to the back of her head. I lace my fingers in her hair and gently guide her to the right pace. Her hair is so soft and I cannot help but to grip it tighter. She grabs my balls and starts to fondle them. Thank you for not ignoring the boys this evening Ms. Swan._

"_Hmm, Bella." I moan. This must set her off; she starts moaning and increasing her sucking. Next thing I know, she is applying a twisting action sending me closer to the edge_.

"_Bella, I'm gonna come…Oh God". _I shoot straight up in bed, soaking wet with sweat and jizz. _Shit._

_

* * *

_

The next morning I wake up to the smell of food. I throw on a t-shirt and head down to the kitchen in search of the delicious smells wafting through the house. Standing in the kitchen cooking is Bella. Alice is perched on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island and they seem to be having an amusing conversation.

They don't notice that I am standing there staring at Bella, and enjoying seeing her in one of my old fucking t-shirts. _Yes, I like her in my clothes._

"And how are we feeling this morning Wildcat?" I ask Bella.

"Edward." She curtly replies. The smile that she had just a moment ago disappears from her face.

"Edward, Jasper and Emmett always have their tee time at ten A.M. Make sure you are ready." Alice informs me.

"Sure dear sister. So what's for breakfast?" I question.

"French toast. Bella's specialty." She beams at Bella.

"It's nothing really; just my way of saying sorry for last night. I really never drink that much. Yesterday was just a lot more than I expected." She quietly replies.

I smile at her and she returns it with a smile that does not meet her eyes. _God she beautiful_.

**AN: I know that you wanted more, you want a real lemon. I'm working on it. From the words of another author 'This is a slow burn'. ****Just R&R and tell me if you love it or hate it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Many thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta, because without them, I would not know where to put a comma (and I still don't).**_

_**And in no way shape or form to I condone adultery.**_

BPOV

_What the hell happened last night? Oh, I remember, I tried to drink an entire bottle of wine and passed out. Good work, Bella. Anything else you want to do to embarrass yourself today?_

I sat up gently and rubbed my aching head. "Oh God, kill me now, please."

"God's not here right now, please leave a message at the beep. _BEEP,_" a voice says.

I look up and smile. "Alice. Glad you're not mad at me. What did I do, anyway? I don't remember anything past sitting down at the table," I explain.

She comes over to sit down on the bed and hands me some Aspirin and a bottle of water. "You drank too much, ate hardly anything, and then did the rant and rave thing at Edward." She smirks.

I pop the pills in my mouth and take a huge swig of water. _Oh God, yes, kill me now._ "What did I say?" I have to know how big of an ass I made of myself.

"Something about grabbing Caius' balls and Edward fucking off on the horse he road in on." She giggles.

"Oh God. I really have to run away now." I get out of bed with the sheet wrapped around me, grab my clothes off the floor, and start to walk to the bathroom.

Alice stands up and stops me. "Don't, Bella. You had a hard day. Just leave it at that. Now, throw on this shirt and come make me your French toast." She hands me an ash gray shirt and pulls me in for a hug.

"Okay," I whisper. I head over to the bathroom and throw on the shirt that she gives me. It is oversized, with the number fourteen and CULLEN on the back. It must be one of Carlisle's. It reaches down past my butt, mid-way down my thighs; covering enough without having to put any shorts on. I had slept naked, I love to sleep naked, and when I get drunk, the clothes somehow make their way off of my body. There is something about being naked and the feeling of the smooth sheets on my skin. I put my cheekies on and splash some cold water on my face. I come out of the bathroom and make my way downstairs.

Alice is standing in front of an open refrigerator and I come behind her and place my chin on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Alice," I whisper.

"No problem, sweetie. I just want what's best for you. Can you not drown your sorrows in rum and wine next time? I promise not to be so hard on you," she whispers back.

I remove my chin and turn her around to face me. I hold back the tears before pulling her in for a tight hug. "Yeah."

I go about preparing to make French toast and Alice prepares much needed coffee. Once I have everything setup, she perches herself on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island.

"So, you were pretty hard on Edward last night. Care to explain?" she begins.

"There is nothing to explain. He's an asshole."

"Yes, but you like that asshole." She smirks.

"I do not! I like him about as much as I like Tyler or Eric," I protest.

She laughs. "Bella, don't lie. He presses your buttons, and you like that."

"My buttons? I don't have any buttons!" I tease her back.

We both break out into a fit of giggles. Glad to see that we are back on track with each other.

"And how are we feeling this morning, Wildcat?" A velvet smooth voice speaks from the kitchen door.

I look up. "Edward," I curtly reply, letting the smile fall from my face. I am not sure if it is from embarrassment of what I did and said last night, or that I like him and don't want him to know.

"Edward. Jasper and Emmett always have their tee time at ten am. Make sure you are ready," Alice informs him.

"Sure dear sister. So, what's for breakfast?" Edward asks.

"French toast. Bella's specialty." Alice turns and beams at me. I throw her a huge smile of thanks.

"It's nothing really; just my way of saying sorry for last night. I really never drink that much. Yesterday was just a lot more than I expected," I explain.

He smiles at me and I return it with a simple smile. I am not sure what to exactly say to him. Do I apologize or let things lie, do we try to be friends or continue to banter back and forth? I know that I crossed some line last night, but I'm not sure exactly what line that is.

"Edward, would you like some coffee?" Alice offers breaking our starring contest.

"Sure," he replies. He moves over to the kitchen island and pulls up another bar stool to sit down. Alice hops down and gets Edward his cup of coffee. "Refill, Bella?" She asks me.

"Um, sure," I reply quietly.

Jasper eventually joins us. Breakfast continues on like this, everyone with one-sentence questions and answers, eating our French toast and drinking coffee. After, Alice and I clean up as Jasper and Edward leave to get ready for golf. It's almost nine and I need to get to the pool.

"Alice, are you coming to the pool today?" I ask as I head to the mudroom door to get my bag from the Jeep. I am like a boy scout, always prepared. I keep my duffle with all of my lifeguard stuff along with several pairs of extra clothes. There have been past summers that I've spent almost whole weeks at the Cullen house without going home. I've learned to keep everything handy so I'm not subjected to the Alice dressing room.

"Yeah, I just got to do a few things around here first, but Rose and I should be there around lunch," she replies.

"Good. Caius is supposed to be back today, along with Kate. Should be quite entertaining. Between Felix and Kate, I am waiting to see who drops to their knees to suck him off first," I state pulling open the door open.

"Oh goody." She bounds upstairs to her room.

I head out to my Jeep and retrieve my duffle. As I am walking up the stairs to the guest bedroom, Edward is coming down from the third floor. In all my time at the Cullen house, I have never ventured to the third floor. He looks at me and smirks.

"Do you like wearing my shirt?" He questions. _His shirt! Damn that little tinkerbell._

_Time to wipe that smirk from your face asshole._ "Well, probably not as much as you like me in your shirt," I purr back, swaggering over to him. He stops dead in his tracks and is gapes at me. "But I bet that you would prefer if I took it _off_," I continue to tease him.

"Um." I have left him speechless again. _Hmm, time to push his buttons a little more._

As I make my way to the guest bedroom, I come close enough to him to run my hand across his chest. _Hmm, yummy muscles_. I continue to run my hand across his chest and over his shoulder as I reach the door to the guest bedroom. I keep my back to him and reach down and pull the shirt over my head. I look back over my shoulder, and Edward is still standing there with his mouth hanging wide open ogling me.

"Here you go." I purr at him as I toss the shirt over my shoulder. I smirk and walk into the guest bedroom and shut the door. I think I hear a quiet fuck come out of his mouth and I have to stifle giggles as I lean back against the closed door. _Where the fuck did I get the nerve to do that? And how can I get him to ogle me more?_

I get ready for the pool, fresh bathing suit, tank top and board shorts for today. I pull my hair back in a ponytail and grab my red ball cap and pull the ponytail threw the back. I put my Adidas flip flops on and throw my clothes from last night into my duffle. I head downstairs and turn back at the bottom of the stairs to yell back at Alice that I am leaving when I crash into something hard.

I turn around and see Edward standing at the bottom of the stairs, smirking again at me. "Nice to see that you have some clothes of your own, Wildcat."

"Yes, I do own my own clothes, thank you." I turn back around and yell up to Alice. "See you at the pool later, Alice."

I turn around and Edward is still standing there. "What?" I ask as I walk around him to the head out the mudroom door.

"Nothing," he quietly replies.

"Well, I'm off to work. Have fun playing golf. Tell Emmett to call me later, would ya?" I tell him as I leave the room.

I hop in the Jeep and head over to the pool. Ben and Angela are setting the pool up for the day. Even though it is technically Ben's morning to open, Angela comes in and helps him. He'll do the same thing tomorrow when it is her morning to open.

"Hey guys," I greet them.

"Hey, Bella," they reply in unison back.

"Need any help?" I ask.

"No Boss," they continue to reply in unison.

"Okay, I'll be setting up at the front desk if you need me." I head over to the guardroom and drop off my bag and come back out to the front desk and prepare for the day. The morning is dull with no sign of Bree or Riley. I guess they will be coming with Daddy Caius today. Right before lunchtime, Alice and Rose show up. I am still on the guard stand with just a few minutes left before I can take lunch. They are standing at the front desk talking to Angela. Alice is bouncing up and down and Rose picking the dirt from under her fingersnails. She must have been working on her latest restoration in the garage today.

Alice and Rose are my best friends. Alice and I met in college at SU and Rose came as a package deal with Emmett. Rose is like the big sister that I never had. She is as protective as Emmett with some foul language thrown in. She is an expert at restoring classic cars and has made a living taking on a single project at the time, working right out of her garage. Most people don't know that she has a six-figure salary. Being her own boss allows her the flexibility to be here at Grand Estates year round with Emmett.

My time is up on the stand and I climb down and let Tyler climb up. "Keep your eyes on the pool Tyler," I sneer at him under my breath. Tyler is always ogling me. And not in the way that Edward was ogling me; more of that creepy a friend of your younger brother staring vibe. _Ew._

"Yes Boss," he replies refocusing out on the water.

I head over and grab the girls for lunch. We settled at the table, and order. Rose and Alice both sigh in unison. _What the fuck now?_

"Okay, what do you two want to talk to me about?" I begin.

"Hmm, you like Edward," Rose states.

"I think you mean I hate Edward," I retort.

"Bella, you can deny this all you want, but it comes back to the school yard principle with you and guys," Rose continues to explain.

"Yes, it is a very simple principle. You like a guy, so you treat him like shit," Alice continues with the theory.

"You know that's all nice and all that you two want to play matchmaker, but I'm really happy in hating Edward. And he makes it really easy by being an asshole," I smirk back.

"So both of you are in denial?" Rose muses.

"Not denial, just dislike and a natural understanding of good banter," I reply.

"You know lots of fucking hot sex has happened with Emmett and me from banter," Rose coolly states.

"Ew. Pass the brain bleach please. I didn't need that image in my head. Look, I'm sure that Edward is a nice guy to some people, but he's a grade A asshole to me. Sorry Alice." I look at her with remorse about my comment on Edward.

"Bella, sweetheart, we know you. You like him. Deny it all you want. But he's a good guy and once you two can get past all this 'I hate you' crap, then you will see what possibilities there are," Alice explains.

We quietly start eating our lunch. Rose and Alice start talking and I start to think about what they are telling me. I don't like Edward. Sure, I am attracted to him, who wouldn't be with that fuck hot body that he has. But he has some issue with me. Why else would he be an asshole to me? And he can't say it is because I picked him up late from the airport. But it doesn't matter. Once he would find out my past, he wouldn't want me anyway. _No one would._

We return from lunch and I notice immediately the slight look of panic on Angela's face. "Angela, what's wrong?" I ask.

"Caius, Kate, Bree, and Riley just arrived," she quietly replies.

"Oh Shit! Did Caius say anything to you?" I was planning on being here when Caius came in today. I wanted to nip any issues in the bud.

"No, he was sweet as he could be," she replies. Then she motions me to lean in closer to her. "Kate has a ring on her finger and he had a grin on his face that you can't wipe off," she whispers.

Alice, Rose and I all look at each other and giggle. "Well, I guess Kate finally got her claws in him." Alice giggles.

I look out on the deck and see who all is at the pool today. "Hmm, I guess she has," I reply.

"Oh, this is too good. I'm gonna text Emmett and let him know the scoop. They should be finishing golf soon, and I told him to drop by." Rose states as she grabs her phone.

"Well guess I better go say hello and talk to Caius about yesterday," I grumble.

"Good luck," the three girls say in unison.

I walk out on to the deck and notice everyone that is here today. I nod my head and smile to everyone. Caius is in a lounge chair near the deep end of the pool, reading some what appear to be work related papers and a serious look of concentration on his face. I look at the water and notice Kate, Bree, and Riley swimming and playing around.

From just looking at Caius, you would not know that he is Aro's brother. He has short stark white blond hair, tan and lean but not toned like Aro. The only thing that they have in common that I can tell is their commanding personalities. I hope that Caius never leans about my past with Aro. He is not the kind of person you want to be on his bad side.

"Caius, could I have a word with you for a moment?" I calmly ask to get his attention.

Caius looks up from his paper and you can see a shit-eating grin appear. _I bet she sucked really hard._

"Bella, please have a seat." He motions to the chair next to him.

I lean in closer and we speak softy about the 'prank' from yesterday. "I assure you that I have talked to Riley and Bree and they have agreed to be on their best behavior for the rest of the summer," he explains.

"Good, I would hate to ban them from the pool and make your nanny work harder this summer," I reply.

"Yes. Thank you for coming to talk to me about this matter Bella." He smirks at me.

I stand up and return back to the front desk. Alice and Rose have taken chairs on the deck and I look out at them and smile. Two seconds later I get a text.

_**R: The boys will be here soon. Put on your smile for Edward.**_

_**B: Stop it matchmaker.**_

_**R: You love me and you know it.**_

_**B: I love you long hair and legs, bitch.**_

_**R: Ouch.**_

_**B: Sorry, but true.**_

_**R: Well, just be happy.**_

Be happy? I'll be happier once I get home and away from everyone and their 'opinions' on my life.

I take stock of who is here this afternoon. Most everyone is here with the exception of Aro and Felix. Oh, there is Tanya but no Demetri, and Irina is still missing. Tyler and Eric are at lunch and Angela is swimming some laps with Ben is in the chair. I am starring out at the deck thinking about what I need to do for my next painting when I hear someone coming up to the desk.

"Well hello Bella." I look up and see Demetri leaning a little too close. He is wearing a golf shirt and shorts.

"Demetri," I coldly reply. Demetri doesn't know what the word _no_ means.

"Now Bella is that anyway to talk to me?" He coos.

"Demetri, the answer is still no. I am not interested," I sneer.

He comes around to the back of the desk and crouches behind me in the chair as I continue to stare out at the pool, trying to ignore his presence. His brings his head close to my ear. He slowly runs one of his fingers on my arm causing goose bumps. "You know you want to. Just think of how much fun it would be. With you being a swimmer and _flexible_, I bet I could put you in all _sorts_ of positions." He purrs in my ear.

Someone clears his throat. We both look up and see Felix. Demetri immediately stands up and walks back around the desk. Felix is wearing a golf shirt and shorts as well. I can only assume that they were playing golf today. Without so much as a word, only glaring, Demetri heads over to the locker rooms, leaving Felix standing there with me.

"Sorry about that. I don't think he will ever give up on you," he quietly states.

"I think I can handle myself. But thank you for the assistance," I smile back.

"You know I'll do what I can for you Bella," he coos.

I blush and he walks off to the locker room. I really hope that Demetri doesn't know anything about my past 'relationship' with Felix. That would be the end of any hold I have on keeping Demetri away from me. Those brothers are extremely competitive with each other and if Demetri ever knew that Felix and I used to… _Oh my God._

"What was that about?" Emmett asks as he is walking up to the front desk.

"Nothing. Demetri is up to his old ways and Felix was intervening," I explain.

Jasper and Edward are right behind him. Jasper is cool and collected behind his sunglasses but Edward looks like he is ready to blow a gasket. _What the fuck is his problem?_

"Did you guys have a nice time golfing?" I inquire trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, loads of fun." Jasper smirks.

I raise and eyebrow and Jasper shakes his head. They all head off to the locker room.

Just then my phone buzzes and I get a text from Alice.

_**A: Are you ok?**_

_**B: Yeah. Nothing I can't handle.**_

_**A: Felix.**_

_**B: Hero of the day.**_

_**A: Don't go there please.**_

_**B: Told you, I'm done.**_

_**A: Good. Just being your personal cockblocker. Well, except when it comes to Edward.**_

_**B: Stop it!**_

_**A: Never.**_

I look up and grin at her. She waves and grins back.

The guys come out of the locker room and head off to their respective places on the deck. Demetri gives me a wicked grin as he passes and I glare at him as though I am flipping him off_. Asshole._

The afternoon is calm and the pool slowly clears out. Towards the end of the day, I release Angela and Ben, since they opened. I am left with Tyler and Eric to close.

Alice, Jasper, and Rose pack up and leave close to dinnertime, leaving Edward with the Yukon to use when he is ready to come home. I almost feel as if they left him here to set things up with us. _Not going to happen._

The whole afternoon, he sits in his chair and glares at me from the top of his book that he is not reading. I don't know what his problem is. I guess I pushed him too far this morning.

Tyler, Eric and myself start to close up the pool and Edward gathers his things to leave right around the same time. We are all walking out to the parking lot and Tyler and Eric are already in their cars. Edward slowly walks to the Yukon, which is parked two spaces over from my Jeep. I take this opportunity to apologize to him for my behavior.

"Hey Edward," I try and get his attention, even though he has done nothing but stare at me all afternoon. "I just wanted to say sorry for this morning. That was out of line of me."

"Don't apologize. You can't help it that you are a cock tease," he coldly replies.

_What the fuck._ "I'm not a cock tease you asshole," I spit back.

"Well, what do you like to call yourself _Wildcat_?" He questions.

"Not an asshole like you. That's for sure," I retort.

"Keep deluding yourself _Wildcat_. You strut your pert little ass around here all day being nothing but a cock tease," he explains. "In fact, I would bet that you like the attention that you get."

I'm livid. How dare he accuse me of being a cock tease none the less someone who likes the attention that assholes like Demetri give me? I am sick of his shit. I don't say anything; I just walk up to him and slap him hard across the face. I really want to punch him, but I don't want to break my hand.

"Like I said, you're an asshole," I spit at him. I turn and hop in my Jeep and take off home.

I pull up to the empty house and run inside to hide. I crash on my bed and cry till I fall asleep. I don't like crying. It makes me feel weak. I wake up at about four am, feeling like absolute shit. I immediately head for my brushes and paint. I pull out blank canvas after blank canvas and fill them with angry reds and oranges. By the time the morning is over, I have completed three new pieces. I'm finally calmed down and begin to clean up. I notice that I have paint spattered all over my hands. Well, there is no way to get all of this off for a few days.

I repack my bag and head over to the pool for a morning swim. _Still more aggression and guilt to work out._ I hope that Edward stays clear of me, otherwise, I am going to rip him a new one.

And he does stay clear of me. We don't speak or acknowledge each other. It's like he is just another piece of deck furniture. But a piece that I find myself staring at or thinking about. _God, get some control Swan!_

The rest of the week is quiet. Caius is around and that keeps Bree and Riley in line. But I know that Caius has to be back in Seattle next week, so I know that we will have to keep a close eye on those two. Who knows what crazy things those two have cooked up?

I overhear Laurent and Felix in some heated conversations. Tanya is wooing Tyler and Eric. And Demetri is still nagging me along with several other females of Grand Estates. Kate is walking around like high dollar shit with her new ring, and her parents, Carmen and Eleazar are beaming with pride. _Well, there is another married off to an older rich guy._

Edward and I stay clear of each other for the rest of the week as well. He's missing on Friday, and I'm glad not to have him as a distraction for at least one day. I don't go back to the Cullen house. I seclude myself outside of work, go home and paint. Before I know it, the whole week has gone by. I have completed about twenty new pieces. Sunday is here. _Ah, my day off._

I head out early to the reservation. I am excited to see RC and Jacob. I haven't seen them in two weeks. And I have barely spoken to either one on the phone. Once I get to their house, I'm greeted by a bone-crushing hug from Jacob.

"Hey Bells." He pulls away to inspect me. "You look like shit."

"Well thanks Jacob. Nice to see you too," I reply.

"You know that we love you. So come on and tell us all about it." He pulls me to his side and walks me to the house. We enter and I find RC in the kitchen making breakfast.

Jacob releases me and I swiftly walk over to RC and fall into her warm embrace.

"God Bells, what's wrong?" She asks.

**AN: So, what do you think of the progression? Anyone, anyone? Gotta go take Edward car shopping now.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Many thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta, because without them, I would not know where to put a comma (and I still don't). A**__**nd in no way shape or form to I condone adultery.**_

**_Wow-Thanks for the great response to this story, all the readers and everyone that put this story on alert._**

* * *

EPOV

"Hey man, what's wrong?" Jasper slaps my shoulder, breaking me of the trance that Bella has left me in. _Fuck me._

"Nothing. Just spacing out," I reply.

"Well come on, get your bag and let's go."

We took off out of the house and put our golf bags in the back of the Yukon and head to the clubhouse. I sit in the car still stunned by Bella's actions.

"Are you sure you're okay man? I can take you back if you want me to," Jasper states.

"No, it's just…" I pause.

"Just what?" He questions.

"Bella," I reply.

"You like her, don't you?" He questions.

"No man. She's just a pain in the ass," I explain.

"Well, she must like you. I have never seen her act the way she did last night towards anyone." _Yeah, I wonder if he has ever seen her act the way she did this morning._

We pull up to the clubhouse and put our bags at the bag drop. Jasper parks and we head inside to meet Emmett. Behind us, I hear a golf cart driving off onto the course. I look to see who is in the cart and I get a glimpse of Felix and Demetri. Emmett is inside leaning against the counter talking to the golf pro.

"Hey, Emmett. You ready?" Jasper asks.

'Yep. How's Bella this morning?" Emmett replies.

"Fine," I reply.

Jasper smiles and shakes his head, and I roll my eyes at him. We get two golf carts and head out on the course. Jasper and Emmett are in the first one and I am alone in the second. We don't talk much, mainly concentrating on the golf game, talking only about improvements that we can make to our game. We make it to the ninth tee box; and take a moment to use the bathroom. Emmett and Jasper start to ask more questions about me. I'm not sure how much they know about me from Alice. We haven't exactly been very close the last five years. I quickly change the subject to find out more about Bella.

"So where are you guys originally from, Emmett?" I ask.

"Bella and I grew up in Forks," he states.

"Do your parents still live in Forks?" I continue.

He sighs. "Our mom died when I was fifteen and Bella was thirteen, and my dad hasn't been around for a while," he replies.

"Oh." I want to ask more, but I don't want to sound like a chick looking for gossip.

Just then the beer and hot dog cart comes by. Emmett walks over to place an order for us.

Jasper is standing beside me and leans closer and whispers. "When their mom died, it was unexpected and shocking. Both Bella and her dad took it harder than Emmett. Emmett basically became the man of the house, and Bella…"

"What about Bella?" I ask.

"From what Emmett has told me, she was lost for the longest time. It wasn't until she reached high school and started dating James that she started to come back around again. By the time I met her in college, she was almost a normal girl."

"Shit," I whisper.

"Yeah. Alice has a lot to do with bringing Bella around too," he adds.

Well, that explained the closeness between Bella and Alice. My sister is very sweet and loving, but when you look at our past relationship, I'm not sure if you can use those words. I guess I need to get over that.

Emmett comes back with hot dogs and beers. We eat quickly and continue to play. Once we reach the clubhouse, I park the golf cart and let the guys know that I'm going to go use the bathroom. I am in the open bathroom near some of the lockers when I hear two men talking.

"She is going to cave this year. I just know it."

"I would suggest that you drop your infatuation with Bella."

"What does it matter to you? Remember that you're happily married."

"And you aren't? You and Tanya have an open bed and relationship. You can fuck who you want."

_Ah, this must be Felix and Demetri._

"I am. And I want Bella in our bed," Demetri states.

"She'll never take you up on your offer. Just drop the hunt man," Felix growls back at his brother.

I hear them leaving the locker room and I release a breath that I didn't know that I was holding. I wonder if Bella knows how aggressive Demetri sounds. I wonder if Emmett knows what a dick Demetri is? _Wait, Demetri is a dick, and Bella is a dick magnet. Makes sense._

I come out of the locker room, head outside and find the guys out at Jasper's Yukon. Felix and Demetri are pulling away in Felix's Mercedes.

"Ride with me, Edward," Emmett requests.

"Um, sure."

We are in his car on the way over the pool. He is gripping the steering wheel like he is tense about something.

"Listen Edward, I sure that you noticed Bella's little temper tantrum last night during dinner." He pauses. "I'm not sure what's going on in her head right now. Maybe it's stress about school or work. But I would appreciate it if you wouldn't egg her on."

"Sure man. I didn't mean to start anything. Just friendly banter," I explain.

"Please don't call it banter. She is my baby sister and I just want her to be happy. She can't do that when you are picking fights with her. I heard about what happened when she picked up from the airport. I know that she can take care of herself, but that doesn't mean that I can't protect her."

I just nod my head in agreement. I can't argue with him on protecting his sister. I would do the same for Alice even with our relationship being estranged.

We pull up to the pool; Emmett and I get out of his car. As we are walking up to the pool, I remember to ask the guys about coming car shopping with me on Friday in Seattle. They inform me that they both have plans for Friday already, but recommend asking Rosalie coming with me.

"Why Rosalie?" I ask.

"Oh, you didn't know. She restores collector cars for a living. Yeah, works right out of the garage at her house. My baby is nothing but the definition of a gear head on sex legs," Emmett gloats.

"Please pass the brain bleach now," Jasper states.

"Hmm, sure. I'll have to ask her," I reply.

We come up to the front desk at the pool and find Felix and Bella having a quiet conversation. Just the intensity of their gazing makes me hot with jealousy. He shouldn't be leaning towards her. Why is she blushing? _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

As Felix walks away, Emmett questions Bella on what is going on. I hear her explaining that Felix was assisting in warding off Demetri. _I guess he's wasting no time._

"Did you guys have a nice time golfing?" Bella asks.

"Yeah, loads of fun," Jasper replies.

Bella raises an eyebrow and Jasper shakes his head at her.

As we move to go change, I can't take my eyes off of Bella. She glares back with a 'what the fuck are you looking at' face. I guess I deserve that.

We enjoy the pool for the rest of the day, and I ask Rosalie about going car shopping with me on Friday in Seattle. She says no problem, as long as we can make a few stops for her to pick up some parts for some of her projects.

Emmett and Rosalie leave, followed soon by Jasper and Alice. They leave Jasper's Yukon for me to drive home. I spend the rest of the time at the pool watching Bella. She's getting everything closed down for the day. I gather my things and resign to head back to the house.

"Hey Edward," Bella calls to get my attention as I walk to the Jasper's Yukon. "I just wanted to say sorry for this morning. That was out of line of me.".

"Don't apologize. You can't help it that you're a cock tease," I reply coldly. _So much for me not starting something. Sorry Emmett._

"I'm not a cock tease, you asshole," she spits back.

"Well, what do you like to call yourself _Wildcat_?" I questions.

"Not an asshole like you. That's for sure," she replies. _Oh, if she only knew_.

"Keep deluding yourself _Wildcat_. You strut your pert little ass around here all day being nothing but a cock tease," I explain. "In fact, I would bet that you like the attention that you get." _Open foot, insert mouth._

She is steaming at this point. She walks up to me and slaps me across the face. _Ouch!_

"Like I said, you're an asshole," she spits at me as she turns and gets in her Jeep. _Well that went well._

This is really for the best. I'm already having dreams about her and feeling like a crazed boyfriend who wants to protect her for every man in a fifty-mile radius. _This is not a good situation for either of us._

I pull myself into the car and watch as Bella pulls out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell. She is probably in the wrong mood to be driving. I start up the car and follow after her. I just want to make sure that she gets home in one piece. I don't even know where she fucking lives. I tail her to her house. I don't think she noticed me. She pulls in her driveway, and runs into the house. She is shaking and looks like she is crying. _God, I am an asshole_.

I sit there for a little while watching her house. A modest house, white, two-stories, front porch; exactly what you expect to find in Forks. No lights come on; just silence. It starts to get dark. I shake my head; start the car and head back to the house.

When I arrive, Alice and Jasper are missing but that's good because I don't want to be around fucking anyone right now. I grab a glass, ice and the bottle of bourbon. I head upstairs to my room and collapse on my couch. I drink until I pass out. At some point during the night, I get up, go to the bathroom and fall back into bed. I wake up the next morning and I'm clutching my t-shirt that Bella was wearing yesterday morning. I suck in a breath and smell the t-shirt. _Fuck, it still smells like her._

During the next two days I take Emmett's advice to heart a little too much. I stay physically as far from Bella as I can get and avoid any conversations with her. But I can't stop from watching her. I watch her sit at the front desk, walk around the pool talking to Grand Estate's members, and give swimming lessons to kids with the largest smile on her face.

Our lounge chairs are behind the guard chair, so when she is in the chair, I can peer over the top of my book and watch all of her movements. I notice on Wednesday that she has paint all over her hands. And she keeps fidgeting with her fingers; I'm not even sure if she is aware of what she is doing with them.

At night, when I am completely alone, it's worse. I think about her, dream about her, and jerk off to thoughts about fucking her. She is mesmerizing, her body sleek with curves that sing to me to grab and hold and explore. Her smile and laugh are intoxicating. Ever time I catch her smiling; I have to fight off the smile that my face wants to form. I know that I need to stay away from her, but I will probably reach a point where I won't be able to stay away anymore. _Hello dick, meet magnet._

Friday morning, Rosalie and I head to Seattle for car shopping. We discuss some of the new models that are available comparing the strength and weakness of each one. Rosalie is a dictionary of cars. She knows everything about them, past and present. She helps me narrow my search between Volvo and Audi. We visit the Volvo dealership first.

We are in the showroom talking with an overzealous female salesperson. She is a bleach bottle blond with a fake tan and a rack to match. Nothing compared to Bella's beauty. She tries to seduce me as well as sell me a car; neither of which work. Rosalie shakes her head and scares her off with just a few words.

We leave the Volvo dealership, drop by one of the shops for Rosalie to pickup some items and then drop in a little deli for a quick lunch.

Somewhere in our conversation, Rosalie decides to be very direct with me just as I take a bite of my sandwich. "Edward, do you like Bella?" She asks.

I start to choke. She slaps me on the back and I take a moment to take a slip of my drink to regain my voice.

"What have I done to give you that impression Rosalie?" I ask.

"Well, it's just I've seen you at the pool Edward. Do you really think that you're fooling anyone? You watch her all day, follow her every move around the pool. You are definitely worse than any of the other guys at the pool. Including Demetri, and that's saying something. That guy is a complete dick," she smirks.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm reading my book when I am at the pool," I retort.

"Oh yeah, what's your book about?" She asks.

"Well, um," I stumble.

"That's what I thought. Believe it our not, underneath the bitchy attitude that Bella is dishing out to you, she's really a great person. Can you two try and be friends?" She pleads.

"Sure, Rosalie. I can try. Just give me some time okay?"

We finish lunch without any more talk about Bella. We head over to the Audi dealership. I test-drive a few models, but once I drive the new A5 Coupe, I'm hooked. I get the thumbs up from Rosalie after she takes the floor model for a drive. I hammer everything out with the salesman and add some customizations that I want. My car should be ready in about two weeks.

Saturday and Sunday are crowded at the pool. I think about what Rosalie has said and try and formulate a plan to be nicer to Bella and find a way to become friends. _Can I be a friend with Bella?_ The more important question is can I resist the urge to fuck her. _No you cannot you asshole._

I continue to watch Bella while I am at the pool on Saturday. Maybe next week I could apologize, try to be nicer and work on being just a friend. _Maybe I could get her to come over and take a shower with me._

On Sunday Bella is not at the pool. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I have spent the better part of this week either dreaming about her or watching her every move. I can only assume that it is her day off. On Sunday, I actually read my book.

Monday rolls around and I repeat the cycle from last Monday by going for an early morning run. And just like last Monday, Bella is swimming laps. She is still graceful in the water but she seems to be pushing herself harder today. Before she finishes, I head back to the house. I take a shower and jerk off to thoughts of fucking Bella. Alice and Jasper ask me to join them at the pool again, even though it is cloudy and could possibly rain.

I continue to watch Bella, and she continues to ignore me. I've thought about what Rosalie and Emmett have talked to me about last week and decide to be civil and ask Bella to join us for lunch. I glance over at the front desk and see Bella staring out at the pool; she's like a second pair of eyes. A man approaches the desk and she doesn't turn to address him at first. But once he speaks to her, she turns to see whom it is and jumps up, runs around the desk to hug him. As she does, the man's face turns so that we can see him. _James._

Alice, Jasper and myself watch the exchange between Bella and James. About thirty minutes after James leaves, Alice heads over to talk to Bella. "I'm gonna go ask Bella to join us for lunch."

Bella and Alice seem to have a quiet conversation.

Alice comes back over to where we are sitting. "She is having lunch with James."

We both sit there and watch Bella get ready to leave. We wait about fifteen minutes and head over to the clubhouse for lunch. When we walk in, I see Bella and James at a corner table, talking and laughing. _God she has a great laugh._

After lunch, we are all back at the pool. I take a few laps, float around just relaxing. I rest my head on my arms on the side of the pool. I start thinking about Bella as usual, when I hear someone swim up beside me.

"Hello Edward."

I look up and see James.

"Nice to see you again James," I respond.

He moves a little closer to me and I immediately straighten my stance.

"I've been watching you," he whispers. "You know Bella is very special," he continues. "I'm not sure what you think the fuck you're doing by watching at her all damn day, but you need to cut that fucking shit out," he sneers.

"Even if I was paying closer than normal attention to Bella, what will you do about it, _James_?" I question.

He leans a little closer to me. We are almost face-to-face. "It doesn't really matter what I will do. Bella will be _mine_ again soon enough." He smirks.

"Oh, really. From what I understand, she doesn't want you," I sneer.

"She wants me, she always has. I just had to let her go for a little while so that she could spread her wings. Now that she is ready, she will return to me."

_What the fuck? He is crazy._

He swims away and I am left trying to figure out how to warn Bella. I hop out of the pool and head back to my chair. I sit down and recline my seat and close my eyes.

"Alice?" I ask.

"Dear brother," she sweetly replies.

"Did you know that James is a fucking psycho?" I ask.

"Yes, I do know that he is a fucking psycho. But why do you ask?" She replies.

"You need to warn Bella. James just practically pissed on me and warned me to stay away from her."

"But you've been staying away from her, dear brother." She states.

"I don't think I can anymore." I whisper to myself.

**AN: Okay, need some suggestions: 1.) A better story summary 2.) A sport or activity that Bella and Edward can do together that is competitive.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Many thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta, because without them, I would not know where to put a comma (and I still don't). A**__**nd in no way shape or form to I condone adultery.**_

**_Thanks for the great response to this story, all the readers and everyone that put this story on alert._**

BPOV

I spend all day Sunday with RC and Jacob, telling them all about Edward and what an asshole he's been. Neither of them are impressed. I don't know why I feel so weak around him. He irritates me and all I want to do is kiss him. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

We spend the morning strengthening my resolve to be strong and resist him completely. I'm not going to take his crap. I knew that I could count on RC and Jacob to help center me.

Jacob and RC are the closest thing to family that I have. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother Emmett, but when my mom died and I shut myself off from the world, I would retreat to La Push and the comfort of the Call and Black homes. RC Call is the little sister of Embry Call and Jacob Black is the son of Billy Black. Billy was one of my father's closest friends. But when mom died, dad retreated so far from others that even Billy could not reach his mind or heart to help him heal. I think Billy took me under his wing in order to give what he could to Charlie.

We all grew up together; they are a year younger than me, but they always feel like family. RC and Jacob married right after high school. They have both attended community college, and just graduated this past year. Jacob has a degree in mechanical engineering and is working as a mechanic at the local La Push garage. I think he could do better, but he will never leave the reservation. RC is a registered nurse working at the hospital in Forks, but her degree gives her the opportunity to help those on the reservation that do not have medical care or insurance.

"Bells, don't do this to yourself. You're better than him. He's just an asshole," Jacob states.

"I know." I reply. "I'm just confused. Thanks for talking with me and letting me get everything out. I know that I can't talk to Alice or Rose or even Emmett about this."

"Come on," RC interjects to change the subject. "Let's eat some lunch and go hang out at the beach. I think you owe some people some swimming lessons."

We eat lunch and head out to the beach. The whole gang is there. We play in the ocean and I help a few of the La Push kids with swimming. We end the day with a warm and toasty bonfire. By the end of the day, I feel better.

"Can we come by and see you one day this week, Bells?" Embry asks.

"Sure. Come by and we can do lunch one day. I have to make a run to the supply store for the pool, so I can use your muscles to my benefit," I reply.

"You know you can always use us anyway you want, Bella," Quil purrs back.

I roll my eyes and shake my head at these two goof balls, head over to my Jeep, and throw my bag in the back. I turn back to RC and Jacob to say goodbye.

"Thanks again, guys, for a great day. I really appreciate you listening to all my bullshit," I state as I pull them in for a group hug.

"You know it, Bells; always here for you. And if Edward gets out of line again, you let me know." Jacob winks.

"Yeah, that's all I need, a pack of boys coming to my rescue." I giggle, climbing in to head back home. I pull up and the house is dark. Not that I expected anyone to be there, there is just always hope that Charlie might come home one day.

I collapse in bed, more from physical exhaustion than mental. Being in the ocean and playing on the beach most of the day can take it out of you. Before I know it, I am dreaming about Edward.

_We're at the pool but I linger behind, closing up. Edward lingers as well, watching my every move. I feel his eyes on me. I'm standing with my back to him while at the guard stand lowering the umbrella. I feel his warm breath on my neck. "Bella," he whispers. "Please," I reply. He wraps his warm strong arms around my waist and pulls me back to his chest. I relax and lean my head back on his shoulder. He nudges my head to the right and runs his nose along my skin. He begins nipping and kissing my neck and collarbone. He continues up and nibbles on my ear lobe. "Oh God," I whisper. He turns me around and places his hands on the sides of my face, weaving them into my hair. "I want you Bella," he coos. He leans in and whispers kisses on my lips. I respond by licking my lips and his. He pulls me in and gives me a proper kiss. He is so sweet. I could kiss him for days. He removes his hands from my hair and face, moving them down my body, caressing my breasts before palming each one. He continues to lower his hands and pushes my bathing suit bottom aside to gain entrance with his fingers. "So wet," he coos. "Always for you," I whisper. He begins pumping me, bringing me to the edge quickly._

I wake up breathing hard. _What the fuck was that? You had a wet dream about Edward._ I look over at my clock, only four a.m. I stretch in the bed and my breathing slows down. I feel relaxed, like I could sleep more, but I know better.

I get up and head to the bathroom. I splash cold water on my face and try not to look in the mirror. _Too late._ My eyes are red and I have dark circles under my eyes. I should try and get more sleep. I come out of the bathroom and my eyes dart back and forth between my bedroom and my art studio. I turn and walk into my art studio. I review my additions from this past week. I think I cranked out ten new pieces. I check to make sure everything is dry. Guess it is time to call Sue so she can see my progress. I decide not to paint. I opt to go downstairs, eating some cereal, drinking coffee and reading a bit.

A couple of hours later, I've repacked my bags and I hop in my Jeep. I swim my laps and prep the pool like I do almost every Monday during the summer months. I just hope today I can ignore Edward and get through the day.

"Hey Bella," Angela calls me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, Ange. Did everything go all right yesterday?" I ask. "I didn't hear from you guys."

"Yes, Boss. No problems. The troublemakers weren't even here," she replies.

"Good. Glad it was an easy day for you guys." I was really happy that they had an easy day without Bree and Riley around.

"How was La Push?" she asks.

"Great. Jacob and RC say hi by the way," I reply.

"Glad you had a nice day off," she states as she places her hand on my back, rubbing small circles.

"Well, lets get everything going."

We open up the pool and the members start filling up the place. Alice and Edward come in at some point. I ignore Edward like he is not there and say a brief hello to Alice. She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I shake my head and wave her off. I mouth 'nothing is wrong'. She wiggles her phone in her hand indicating that she is going to call me later.

It's close to lunch and I have just spent an hour in the stand. But instead of working on paperwork, My eyes wander toward the pool. Never hurts to have a second pair of eyes on the pool. "Hello Bella," a calm voice calls me from the other side of the desk.

I look up and see him. "James. Oh my God, how are you?" I question as I jump up and rush around the desk to give him a hug. Even though we aren't together, we remain friendly. He gently hugs me back.

"Very good. Glad to see you again. Dad said that you were here this summer," he states.

"Yes, here working and at home painting. I'm in graduate school taking the summer to work on my portfolio," I explain.

"We need to catch up. What are you doing for lunch?" he asks.

"Nothing. I have about thirty minutes before I can leave," I explain.

"Great. I'll go ahead and get us a table." He turns and walks away. Hmm, he is usually not that decisive. _Nice to see him changing for the better._

Thirty minutes pass and Alice comes up to the front desk. "Ready for lunch?" She asks.

"Sorry, Alice. James has invited me to catch up with him. But tomorrow, okay?" I ask.

"Hmm, sure. Tomorrow," she quietly states.

I grab my shirt and flops and head over for lunch. James is at a table in the far corner of the room.

"So tell me all about Miami," I begin.

"It's wonderful. Warm and always summer. I definitely don't miss the Pacific Northwest," he starts.

"Oh, that sounds great," I reply.

We continue to talk through lunch, catching up on what we have been doing for the past five years. He has a condo near South Beach, works hard, and has a girlfriend, Vicky.

"How long have you two been together?" I ask.

"A little over a year. She is _very special_. I'm hoping that she will join us at some point over the summer," he explains.

"Glad to hear that she'll be joining you. Are you working remotely?" I question.

"Yes, my job is flexible enough that I can pretty much work from anywhere in the world. All I need is high speed internet connection and a laptop," he replies.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alice and Edward enter and sit down at our regular table towards the front of the room. I turn and see Alice; she smiles and waves while Edward just, sits glaring at me. I smirk back and his face hardens.

"Is that Edward and Alice Cullen?" James asks, drawing my attention back to our table.

"Yes. Alice and I became friends during undergrad at SU and Edward is going to med school there this fall," I say, my voice colored with disdain at the mention of Edward.

"Oh, do you have a problem with Edward?" he inquires.

"Yes. He is an asshole," I state.

"He always has been a little asshole. When we were kids and our parents had these dinners, all of us kids were stuck together to keep each other company. Alice was always a hoot, but Edward seemed to sulk in the corner like someone killed his puppy," he recalls.

"Hmm, doesn't surprise me," I reply.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did he do?" James asks.

"I don't mind. He has been overly rude to me. _Like I killed his puppy_." I lean in to whisper. "I have already threatened him with ball removal and had to slap him."

"Well, maybe since I'm here now, I can run interference and distract you." He wiggles his eyebrows.

We both break out laughing. "I'm sure that you can distract me, James. You were always very good at that. But I have my portfolio to work on and that is distracting enough," I explain.

"Well, then I will have to see all the new pieces that you have been working on." He winks back at me. _Hmm, much more assertive than I remember._

We finish lunch and James walks me back to the pool. We part, exchanging cell phone numbers so we can keep in touch while he's here for the summer. I'm being nice to him but trying to hold back so that he doesn't have hope for something more. He has a girlfriend now, but I can't help but remembering Aro's warning that James still has feelings for me.

Later that afternoon, I'm in the guardroom working at my desk when Angela calls me from the front desk.

"Hey, Bella. Come see this," she states.

I poke my head out the door and check over the pool. I notice Edward and James lingering on the side having what looks like an intense conversation. "Hmm, I wonder what that's about," I muse to myself. Two seconds later, the two separate and Edward goes to take his chair by Alice.

The next day, Alice and I have lunch and she drills me about James.

"Alice, he was just catching up. He was my high school sweetheart for fuck's sake," I explain to her.

"I know, but something is off about him. I'm not sure what. Are you sure that you can trust him?" she asks.

"Of course, James wouldn't hurt a fly." James has always been gentle and friendly. That was one of the major reasons I was drawn to him in the first place. I didn't have to put effort into being his girlfriend. He just let me be Bella. And I guess that is why I can still be a friends with him now.

"Alice, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she replies.

"Why have you never talked to me about Edward? He is your brother, after all, and you have never said more than ten sentences about him," I inquire.

"Edward and I have an…odd relationship," she explains.

"What do you mean odd?" I question.

"Well, we were very close growing up. But in high school he started dating this girl, Victoria. She was a real bitch, the worst two-faced person that you could ever meet. She would be all nice and sweet and loving around Edward, but would talk shit about him behind his back. Then, during the middle of his senior year, when I stayed late to work on a project, I caught her making out with another boy in the school parking lot one day. I don't think she even noticed me. I knew I had to come up with a way to tell Edward the truth about Victoria.

"I started watching Victoria to get her daily routine down. She was simple and sneaky. Not only was she making out with the one guy in the parking lot, but also had two others on the side. I didn't even know how she made time for Edward. Edward must have been extremely focused on school, and there was the whole ignorance is bliss thing."

"Ignorance is bliss?" I question.

"Yeah, Edward used to have a theory about how ignorance is bliss. Which is complete bullshit, and his way of covering his insecurities-such a fucking pansy. Anyway, I had to break him of that along with showing him what a fucking slut Victoria was," she continues.

"How did you expose her?" I ask.

"It took a while, a couple of months, following Victoria, getting her schedule down. I planned to have Edward catch her in the act. She always met with the same guy on Thursdays in the parking lot after she had cheerleading practice, so I pretended my car wouldn't start and had Edward come back to pick me up. He pulled up and saw with his own eyes and ended things with Victoria that day. I didn't think at the time that it would be bad thing to have him see what she was doing to him, but he thought otherwise," she says, sighing. "We don't talk about what happened, and he has pushed me away from him ever since."

"Wait, is he holding a fucking grudge about this?" I demand.

"Yes," she meekly replies.

"What a dick!"

"Bella, he might be a dick, but I stuck my nose in his business, and I realize that was wrong now. He has every right to be a dick to me. That's why I have such a hard time dealing with you fucking your life up," she admits.

"Alice, you are just looking out for me, just as you did for Edward. And if he can't get past his own stupidity, then he deserves to sit on the stick up his ass forever," I state.

"Oh, Bella," Alice sniffles.

I lean over to hug Alice. She is almost shaking. I can tell that her relationship with Edward is strained. How could he be such a dick to her all these years? Alice is the most loving and caring person that I know. If it weren't for Alice, I could be…._Oh, God, I don't want to think about what I could be right now._

"So, let's talk about something else. Did I tell you that James has a girlfriend-a very serious one too?" I giggle to help lighten the mood at the table.

"Really, it's good that James isn't still carrying a torch for you," she says, cracking a weak smile.

I manage to cheer her up by gossiping about everything I can think of. By the end of lunch, she's the bouncing, smiling Alice that we all love. Well, except of course Edward. _Hmm, I think I need to do something about this._

We finish lunch, head back to the pool, just in time for me to take the stand. I start to form a plan to help get the siblings back on track. Alice is too damn nice to have a dick for a brother. And I would bet anything that he needs her in his life, too.

The day winds down and Alice asks me to give Edward a ride home and join them for dinner. I reluctantly agree. _You can do this Swan, be nice._ Alice heads off early to get things ready for dinner, and Edward stays at the pool. He ends up swimming some laps and towards the end of the day, then falls asleep, face down on his chair. We closeup early and I go over to wake up sleeping dickward so that I can give him a ride home.

As I approach him, I can hear him mumbling, almost talking in his sleep. "Hmm, Bella, don't stop." _Oh. My. God. Is he dreaming about me?_ I squat down next to his chair and gently rub his back to wake him. He is warm from the sun, and his skin is so smooth. I just want to lie on top of him, snuggle up and soak him up from head to toe. He continues to moan but slowly wakes up and opens his eyes.

"Bella," he breathes.

"Time to go home Edward," I quietly state.

Edward's eyes widen as he realizes where he is. He slowly pushes up and sits upright in the chair. He reaches to grab his shirt and laughs to himself before putting it on.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

"Nothing really, just thinking about the other morning," he continues to laugh to himself.

"Yeah, sorry about that," I mumble.

We both look awkwardly at each other like we should be saying more, but nothing comes out. He stands up at the same time I do, grabs his stuff and we head over to my Jeep. The drive to the Cullen house is quiet, both of us sighing like we are going to start speaking, but we never do.

The evening at the Cullen house is much less eventful than it was last week. Edward and I have polite, cordial conversation. Alice keeps sneaking glances at me, and I glare back at her to get her to stop. I manage to stay far away from any alcohol and drive myself home to collapse in my own bed.

The next day, I am sitting at the front desk working on some paperwork for the pool as it nears lunchtime. I hear someone approach the front desk but I don't look up. _Too many surprises this week so far, why stop now?_

"Hey, Bells, ready to head out?" I look up to the smiling face of Quil, such a sweet boy.

"Sure, let me grab my stuff real quick." I stand up and sneak into the guardroom to grab my purse and shirt. I throw my shirt on and come back out.

As I come out of the guardroom and approach Quil, he leans in, "Where's the Edward dude?"

I look at him and cock my head in the direction of Alice and Edward and whisper back, "Sitting next to Alice, why?"

"Wanna piggy back ride?" Quil asks as he squats, motioning for me to climb on.

I look at his back and take a quick glance at where Edward is sitting. _Shit, he's looking._

"Um, sure." I step closer, pulling my purse strap over my head and across my chest and climb onto his back. Somehow, riding Quil piggyback makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Once we are off on our way, I inquire about his request. "Quil, what was that about?"

"I thought we could help you make him a little jealous."

"Oh God, not you guys too," I grumble.

"Come on, Bells, we know you. Have you ever been affected by a guy like this before?" Embry asks.

"No," I whisper.

"Well then, make him work for it," Quil replies.

We eat lunch at the local diner, leaving all talk about Edward behind in the car. We head over to the hardware store to collect some pool supplies. The boys help me unload when we return and I settle in for the rest of the afternoon at the pool.

The next day, Alice approaches me at the front desk before lunch. "Bella, when is you next day off?" she asks.

"Tomorrow, why?"

"Would you like to play some tennis?" she asks.

"Singles or doubles?" I know where she is going with this.

"Doubles." She grins back.

"Alice, what are you trying to do?"

"Nothing, Bella, I just want to play some tennis," she replies.

"Sure, you want to play tennis. And who are we playing with?"

"Jasper and Edward," she mumbles.

I guess playing tennis would be better than staying at home wallowing in the pool of self-loathing. "Um, sure Alice. What time?"

"Ten. And remember to wear that cute little tennis outfit that I bought you last year," she says, smiling.

I roll my eyes. _Damn. Sneaky little Tinkerbell._ "Tomorrow, ten, got it," I reply.

She skips back to her chair and leans over to whisper something to Edward. He grins, turns and waves at me, like he is saying thank you. I smile without thinking and wave back. _God, what have I done? You invited a monster into your life._

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**AN: The majority of suggestions were for tennis, so I promise not to let Bella hurt Edward's family jewels. But I can't promise that she won't wack him upside the head. Afterall, he can be an asshole.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Many thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta, because without them, I would not know where to put a comma (and I still don't). A**__**nd in no way shape or form to I condone adultery.**_

**_Thanks for the great response to this story, all the readers and everyone that put this story on alert.

* * *

_**

EPOV

That night I went back to the house feeling angry and regretful. I spent yet another day staring at Bella. As I watched her smile and hug James, I only wished that it were with me instead. I hate James for even being in her life, and I hate myself for being an asshole to her. I regret my attitude and actions towards her, now wishing I could mend the bridge I'd inevitably burned before ever realizing I would want to cross it.

The next day, I join Emmett and Jasper for golf again. Even with Bella not in the house to tease me again, my brain is still in a Bella-fog – thoughts of her smile and laugh, her body and her wit, clouding my mind.

"Hey man, you ready to go?" Jasper asks, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, sure. Let's golf," I state, climbing out of his Yukon and heading to the back to grab my bag. We meet Emmett inside again, who is standing at the tennis pro desk talking with James.

Hanging back to avoid having to talking to James, I head to the back and down towards the carts, while Jasper goes over to collect Emmett. A few minutes later, they head out and Jasper joins me in my cart. As we pull off, I see James and Laurent coming out the back door.

We play a quiet round of golf, keeping the conversation strictly about game. I haven't played much during the past five years, so I'm able to throw my whole head into the game and stop thinking about Bella for a few short hours.

We finish our game, only stopping for the bathroom, hot dogs and beer. We head back to the pool and I hop in and swim a few laps. Once I get back to my lounge chair, I collapse face-down, and fall fast asleep. I didn't realize that all the physically activity that I did today would make me this tired. My mind immediately goes to a new fantasy of Bella.

_Standing almost at the bottom of the stairs at our house, I see Bella. She swaggers over to me. With the height difference between us, her head is almost at my waistline. She looks up at me and her eyes are black with lust. She licks her lips and extends her hands to unbutton my pants. She opens them and reaches in to stroke me. I moan in response._

"_God, Bella, you're killing me," I mumble. She then pulls my cock out and attacks with her mouth, engulfing me completely. I grab the back of her head and tangle my fingers in her soft hair, helping guide her to the right pace. "Hmm, Bella. Don't stop," I moan. She continues to suck. I feel a warming on my back, like someone rubbing soothing circles._

I crack an eye and see Bella almost face to face with me, gently trying to wake me up.

"Bella," I breathe. _Didn't you just have my cock in your mouth?_

"Time to go home, Edward," she says quietly. _God, I want to take you home with me._

Opening my eyes wider, I see that Bella is squatting in front of me, waking me from yet another dream about her. I want to pull her on the chair and hold her close.

_Okay, now to get rid of the Bella hard-on. Grandma, Mom and Dad in bed, dead bunnies, naked Grandma. Okay, that helped._

As I start to sit up and gather my things, I grab my t-shirt, remembering the other morning and the 'incident' with Bella and my t-shirt. I start to laugh to myself.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

"Nothing really, just thinking about the other morning." I continue to laugh.

"Yeah, sorry about that," she mumbles.

She looks at me like she wants to say more, but doesn't. I try to think of something else to say, but I'm not sure exactly what to say either. We drive back to the house together in total silence and have a nice dinner with Alice and Jasper. I keep my thoughts to myself, but prompt Bella on questions for general conversation, which allows me to learn more about her.

She's an artist, which would explain the paint I always see on her hands. She's also an avid swimmer, which would explain the fuckhot body that she has. On top of all of that, she's a graduate student getting her masters in art. She concentrates on painting as her medium, and she is intoxicating.

Sitting through dinner, I mechanically eat, absorbing everything that she is saying, listening intently and focusing on her face, memorizing every detail about her. She fidgets and bites her bottom lip. All I want to do is take that lip from her teeth and suck it till she is moaning with want.

By the end of the evening, I know three things:

One, Bella is intoxicating. She doesn't even know how beautiful she is.

Two, Bella is so worth getting to know. I haven't taken the time before now to learn about her. I haven't done well with letting people into my life during the past couple of years. _I guess I need to change that._

Three, she will be mine, not James'.

The next day, I awake refreshed, my mind having resolved to know Bella better and be friends. We started out well last night, so progressing from here should be easy. _Yeah, keep telling your hard-on that_.

I go for a quick run in the morning and join Alice at the pool mid-morning. I am actually reading my book when I notice a russet skinned man approach Bella at the front desk. I immediately tense, readying myself to launch out of the chair to aid in her rescue. _Mine!_

She smiles at him, so I assume that they must be friends.

"Don't worry, dear brother, that's just Quil," Alice informs me.

I glare back at the two of them. Bella steps into the guardroom and grabs her stuff and comes back out. As they speak for a second before she tilts her head in our direction. He turns to look at me, and he fucking smirks at me. _And they call me the asshole._

She glances my way, then turns to launch on his back and giggles all the way out of the pool complex getting a piggyback ride.

"Alice, who's Quil?"

"Quil is an old family friend of Bella's. You have nothing to worry about."

"Why would I have the need to worry?" I ask.

"Don't lie, Edward," she whispers.

"So, what do I do about it?" I whisper back.

"Hmm," Alice says sigh. "I'm not sure that I want to get involved. I finally have you back, and I don't want to _meddle_," she replies curtly.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I know that I've been an asshole, but I really want to make that up to you and Bella. I like her and just want to get to know her better."

"You mean you want your dick to get to know her better." She raises an eyebrow at me. "Dick, meet magnet." She points to me, specifically my cock, and then towards where Bella was just sitting.

"Okay. I get your point. But that doesn't mean that we can't be friends."

"Well, since you just want to be _friends_, I guess I can arrange for us to play some tennis soon." She smirks. "Are you up for some doubles? Bella and me against you and Jasper?"

"Sure. I haven't played in a while, but it shouldn't be too hard to pick a racket back up. Does Bella play?" I ask.

"Oh, Bella plays," she says with a grin.

We eat lunch and settle in for the afternoon at the pool.

Before lunch the next day, Alice approaches Bella and asks her about tennis. They talk briefly, then Alice comes back to join me poolside. She sits on the edge of her chair and leans closely, whispering, "She said yes."

We both look back at Bella; I smile gently at her and give a small wave in thanks.

The next day I wake up eagerly like it's my first day of school. _Yep, I was one of those kids._

I just need to relax by not taking a morning run-just coffee and the morning paper. Alice heads out early to meet Bella at the courts, leaving me to ride with Jasper.

"Have you ever played with Bella before?" I ask as we are riding to join the girls.

"A few times."

"Is she any good?"

"You could say that." _Hmm, cryptic. I don't like that_

BPOV

I am on my way to the tennis courts, nervous and anxious. _How the hell is this going to work?_

I'm lost in my thoughts over how to deal with Edward as I pull into the parking lot. I like him, and he is making an effort to be nicer to me. I suppose that we could be friends. _I'm just not sure I only want to be friends._

I grab my bag and head over to the pro shop to pick up some new balls. Upon entering, the smell overwhelms me with memories of my mom. I take a deep breath and see Felix standing at the desk talking with Alec, the tennis pro. I approach and they both turn to greet me.

"Bella, haven't seen you in a while. How are things?" Alec asks.

"Just fine." I turn to look at Felix. "What brings you in today, Felix?"

"Just picking up my restrung rackets and some supplies."

"Must be nice to have your own court," Alec says mocking Felix.

"I guess there are some advantages to being a retired pro." Felix smirks back in my direction. I melt a little on the inside.

He pays Alec, grabs his purchases and nods to me to follow him out. I motion that I will be a minute. I grab a few cans and pay Alec. "Alice joining you today?"

"Yes. Along with Jasper and Alice's brother, Edward," I respond.

"You guys have fun."

I thank Alec, wave and exit to find Felix standing on the porch of the building, leaning on the railing.

Moving to stand beside him, he leans over and whispers "So, tennis with Edward huh?"

"Yep. Any pointers?"

"I think I've taught you enough," he says, smirking.

"That you have." I state as I see Alice's Porsche pull up and park; two seconds later, Jasper and Edward do the same.

"That's my cue. See you later Bella." Felix winks as he walks away, climbs in his car and drives off.

Alice hops out and bounces over to where I'm standing. "So, what did 'Mr. I have my own court at my house' have to say?"

"Nothing, he was just here picking up some stuff," I reply.

She raises an eyebrow at me and I roll my eyes at her. "Just remember to be nice to Edward, please." We head off to our reserved court to warm up.

EPOV

Every time I turn around, Bella is around some guy. And all I want to do is grab her, throw her over my shoulder and take her away_. Fucking caveman_.

We head over to the courts, put our stuff down, and pull out our rackets. Bella removes her jacket, grabs her racket and some balls and walks out onto the court_. _Her hips are swaying, and her body is a tight package, wrapped in an amazing little tennis dress that is short enough that I can see the curve of her ass. I don't know why I am mesmerized by the sight of her in the dress; I see her almost everyday in a bathing suit. But this dress, God, I just want to drop to my knees and worship her.

_Grandma naked, Grandma naked, Grandma naked._

I grab my racket and Jasper and I head to one side and Bella and Alice take the other. We start hitting the ball back and forth to warm up and take a couple of serves for practice.

"Ready?" Alice chirps.

"Sure, ladies first," Jasper and I reply together.

Bella serves first. Before I know it, the ball is whizzing past me. _What the fuck. How fast is she serving?_

She looks over and smirks. "One-Love."

She serves again, this time I am prepared and at least get it back over the net. She's an amazing player, agile, graceful, and powerful.

We all are concentrating on playing and the only sounds we hear are the balls hitting the rackets and the ground, and the grunts and noises emitting from each of us. I am concentrating harder not trying to pay attention to the sounds that Bella is making. I wonder if those are the same sounds that she makes in bed. _Hmm, Bella in my bed._

We take a break and sit on the side benches, all panting and drinking water.

"Care to make this interesting, boys?" Alice asks.

"What did you have in mind, dear sister?" I reply.

She smirks then replies, "A day of pampering. Massages, foot rubs, waited on hand and foot."

"No problem," Jasper says smiling.

"That's not all. The losers will have to dress in whatever the winners prefers. Except, clothing mandatory, though. We wouldn't want you embarrassed now, Edward." Alice turns and grins widely at Bella. Bella's eyes look like they are going to pop out of her head.

"Fucking deal!" Jasper answers enthusiastically. "I guess you will be wearing that French maid's outfit sooner than you thought Alice." Jasper wiggles his eyebrows and Alice rolls her eyes.

I look over at Bella and smile. She is still in shock. Her face softens and she returns my smile.

We resume playing tennis. But there is something different about the girls this time. Bella's hitting is more powerful, and she is acing all of her serves. When Alice serves, Bella is up at the net, bending over to either tie her shoe or straighten her sock. And each time, I gawk at her legs and ass. At one point, Alice serves and hits me square in the head, sending me crashing to the ground. For a few minutes, all I see are stars. They all rush over to make sure that I am okay.

To my surprise, Bella is kneeling on the ground beside my head, running her hand over my forehead where the ball hit.

"Hey, are you okay?" she purrs.

"Um, yeah," I mumble.

She stands back up and Jasper extends his hand to help me up. Smiling gently at Bella, I cause her to blush. Her blush is the most beautiful thing, a hint of pink covering her sun kissed skin.

We take our positions again and resume playing. The girls end up beating us. Jasper and I groan as we leave the court. _Auuugghh! GIRLS beat us!_

"So, when shall this day of pampering take place?" Jasper grins.

"Next week," Alice states turning to Bella to get confirmation. "What day are you off next week?"

"Um, Wednesday," she quietly replies.

"Great. Wednesday it is then. We will talk specifics over lunch. Come on ladies," Jasper agrees, as he grabs Alice's bag and extends his arm to escort her.

Bella and I are left standing at the benches. She is staring at me and I begin to blush. She turns and gathers her things, and starts to head off to the parking lot. I quickly grab my bag and run to catch up with her.

"Great game. Where did you learn to play?" I inquire.

"I've been playing all my life. My mother taught me."

"Well, you're very good. I had fun playing today."

"I did too," she murmurs back.

We all get in our cars and head over to the clubhouse for lunch. Bella is quiet; she seems reflective, lost in her thoughts.

We are finishing lunch when Alice asks the question that has been on my mind. "So, Bella, whatcha doing this afternoon?"

"Sue is coming over." She glances at her watch. "Speaking of which, I gotta go." She stands up and says goodbye and is out the door before any of us can stop her.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"Bella is just nervous about showing her new pieces to her advisor," Alice explains.

My thoughts of asking Bella to just hang out this afternoon were suddenly replaced a desire to see her work. I can only imagine what goes on in her head and how that translates to canvas.

BPOV

Pulling up to my house, I hop out to run in and take a quick shower before Sue arrives. As I am showering, I think about what a fun time we all had playing tennis. My thoughts linger on Edward, his strong muscles contracting when he hits the ball, his long lean body as he threw the ball above his head to serve, just a sliver of his sculpted stomach peeking out from underneath the hem of his shirt. I close my eyes and begin to fantasize.

_It is just the two of us, playing on the closed off_-_court. He serves the ball, drops his racket and runs to hop over the net, rushing to me. I start walking backwards till my back is against the wall. He reaches me and stops mere inches from my body. I am breathing in heavily, wanting him to touch me. He reaches out and strokes my face before lacing his fingers in my hair to pull me in for a kiss. I can taste the salt on his lips. Hmm, the sweet and salty mix is wonderful. I place my hands on his chest and walk my fingers to the bottom of his shirt. He breaks the kiss long enough to let me remove his shirt. He continues to kiss as I continue to let my fingers roam along his chiseled torso. I move my hands to his shorts and run my fingers along the edge, lingering on his goody trail. He moans and moves his hands from my hair down my body to the bottom of my fitted tennis dress. He pulls it ever so slowly up my body, torturing me by peppering kisses on each new sliver of exposed skin. When my dress reaches my head, he stops, encasing my arms next to my head in my dress. I can feel him dropping to his knees, continuing to nip and kiss my stomach, stopping only to rub my wet covered core. He slips his fingers in the sides of the panties and slowly pulls them down. He nips and licks my skin getting closer to where I need him. He licks my core and I groan from the exquisite feeling. He continues licking and places several fingers in my core pumping me slowly. I struggle to remove my dress, but from the way that he pulled the dress up, my upper body is stuck with my arms trapped around my head. Somehow, I know that this should bother me, but I am completely turned on by being constrained by my dress. He wants to prevent me from participating. He only wants to please me and continues to pleasure me. "Edward," I cry out as he pushes me over the edge into ecstasy._

I open my eyes and remove my fingers. _God, I need to get laid._

I finish my shower, towel off and get dressed to wait for Sue. A little while later, Sue and I are in my studio reviewing my latest work.

"Very impressive, Bella, lots of emotions. What has gotten into you lately that put you in the place for this work?" Sue asks.

"I'm not sure. I think I have reached a different point in my life, taking more control, so it must be coming through in my work," I reply.

"Well, whatever it is, keep it up. I want to see what you have this time next month, and then we can take some pictures to submit with your application," she says smiling. "I know that you don't think you have a chance for this fellowship, but I want you to try and remain positive. This could be very good for you." She reaches out and touches my face in a very motherly way.

"Thanks, Sue, I will try.

* * *

AN: So, things are progressing. The pay up for the bet should be interesting. If you don't know by now, there is a little charity thing going on.

http://www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: This is my first Fanfiction, so please be gentle with me. Many thanks to the fine fine Betas with Project Team Beta, because without them, I would not know where to put a comma (and I still don't). A**__**nd in no way shape or form to I condone adultery.**_

**_Thanks for the great response to this story, all the readers and everyone that put this story on alert._**

* * *

BPOV

The next couple of days, my routine of work and painting are the only things normal in my life. What is abnormal is Edward.

Edward starts to hang around me. We have lunch everyday but Tuesday when the guys play golf. He continues to stare at me, but is no longer glaring. He's a nice guy when he wants to be. I discover that he is extremely intelligent, has more book smarts than common sense, plays the piano and the guitar, and has a witty mouth that has become a fascination of mine to watch when he speaks. _God, the things I bet he can do with that mouth._ He is acting like a normal person instead of the stick-up-my-ass Edward that I had originally been introduced to.

When I'm not on the stand or dealing with the normal day-to-day duties of the pool, he is usually hanging around the front desk with me, talking about everything and anything. At first I think it's a little creepy, like he is coming on to me. But that couldn't be. Alice would never encourage Edward to pursue me. He blushes at some of my comments and acts like a boy with a school crush. Thankfully, we find a nice rhythm of conversation and the awkwardness stops.

Wednesday rolls around and it's the day for the boys to pay up on the wager. We'd agreed that that they would spend all day at the Cullen house pampering us, scantily clad as Chip-n-Dale waiters.

It's early morning and I have been up for a few hours, working on a new piece for my art portfolio when I hear my doorbell ring.

"Who the hell is that?" I mumble as I head downstairs.

I approach the door and look through the peephole to see a smiling, no grinning like a schoolgirl, Edward.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I open the door.

Edward stops grinning and is raking his eyes up and down my body. _Oh fuck_, I forgot to put a little something more on before answering the door. I am standing there in a too tight tank top, no bra and lacey boy shorts. I glare back at him. "Do you see something you like?"

He clears his throat and steps one foot into the house. "Yes," he purrs back.

He grins and winks. "I'm here to pick you up for your day of pampering," he explains.

"Oh." My whole body reacts with a full on blush, but I don't bother to cover up. He sees me in a bathing suit almost everyday, so there's probably nothing showing that he hasn't seen before. I turn to head back upstairs to clean up and I hear him growl behind me. I glance over my shoulder at him and he is almost panting. _Guess he does like what he sees_.

"Come on in. I'll be just a few minutes."

I clean up my brushes, get dressed and head back down stairs.

Edward is in my living room looking at some of the pictures on the mantel. He is wearing shiny black pants, flip-flops and a zip up hoodie.

Before I can tease him about his attire, he is asking me questions. "Is this your mother?" he asks pointing to one of the pictures.

"Yes, that picture was taken after Emmett was born but before I was born. She was a very happy mom."

"Sorry about your loss," he quietly states.

"No worries. It was a long time ago." I pause. "So what do you have planned for us today?" I say, changing the subject quickly.

"First a quick breakfast, then a body massage, followed by lunch, a foot massage and a pedicure, some leisure activities and a nice quiet dinner," he states as he extends his arm to escort me from my house.

"Sounds lovely."

He takes my bag and I lock up the house. I turn to follow him down the stairs and stop dead in my tracks when I see the car that he has driven.

In the driveway behind my Jeep is an exquisite shiny black Audi A5 Coupe. This car is a complete mixture of sex and luxury. If I had the means, I would get one myself; there's nothing like a fast sexy car. _Thanks Aro for spoiling me!_

"_Holy Fuck!"_

"Is something wrong, Bella?" he asks.

"New car?" I point to the obvious.

"Yeah, the dealer got it done early so Jasper and I went down yesterday after golf to pick it up."

I approach the car, run my finger over the hood, and let out a low whistle.

"I haven't even seen this model up close. How does it drive?" I purr.

"Just beautiful."

I look up and Edward is staring at me and not the car. I blush. "Hmm, would you like to drive it?" he asks dangling the keys.

I saunter over and place myself closer to him than I would normally allow, and slowly wrap my hand around the keys. "Yes," I purr.

He blushes this time and grins. _Silly Edward._

I giggle and run over to the driver's side, unlock the door and climb in, easing myself into the molded car seat. "Oooo," I hum.

"I didn't take you for a car lover," Edward says, smirking.

"I lean over the center console close to his ear and whisper, "And wouldn't you like to know what kind of lover I can be?"

I smirk and ease back into the driver's seat, place the key in the ignition, start up and take off.

Aro was always very generous in letting me drive all of his cars. Even when I was with James, he let me test drive everything that they had in the garage. I have had my ass in some of the finest cars on the west coast: a red Ferrari 250 GTO, a yellow Lamborghini 350GT, a silver Audi TT and my personal favorite, which was James' car of choice, a black Porsche 928. _Thank you, Mr. Tom Cruise_.

Jasper and Edward leave Alice and myself alone on the back patio, to enjoy a simple breakfast of fresh fruit and yogurt, then come back to bring us inside to find not just one, but two professional massage tables set up in the living room. Alice is jumping up and down, giggling and clapping her hands. The guys hand us both robes and push us off to the bathroom.

We step into the bathroom stripping and putting the robes on.

"So what do you think so far, Bella?" Alice begins.

"Think about what, Alice?"

"The future of the stock market. What do you fucking think I'm talking about? Edward."

"What about him?" I grin back at her.

"I can't help but notice that he has been very nice recently," she ponders.

"Yes, he has. You didn't have anything to do with that, did you?" I ask.

"Who, me?" She giggles. "I might have mentioned to him what an asshole he has been and that you really have done nothing to deserve it and that he should play nice. And he might have mentioned to me that he would like to get to know you better," she says all in one breath.

"Fuck, Alice," I whine.

"Just enjoy the day, Bella. You deserve to be pampered," she tells me.

We come out of the bathroom and find the guys each standing beside a table, each wearing shiny black pants, hanging so low that their v's are prominent, no shirts, oiled up chests and little red bowties, barefoot, finished off with towels draped over their arms like waiters. They have several candles lit throughout the room giving off a lovely relaxing feeling.

They motion for us to come to the tables. Then they leave to step out of the room so that we can get comfortable under the sheets on the tables. I step out of my robe and crawl under, face down. I am nervous, but who wouldn't be? Edward Cullen is getting ready to rub me, massage me and make me moan. _Drip._

EPOV

We're standing in the kitchen waiting for Alice and Bella to get comfortable on the tables that we rented for today. I know that it's a little overboard to have actual professional tables, but we both wanted to give them the best in pampering.

I'm still floored by Bella's response to my car. I don't think my dick has calmed down either, not that this outfit is helping to hide my hard-on. What more could a man ask for, a beautiful, sexy woman like Bella who loves cars, driving my car, purring as she turns the wheel. _Fuck, that's better than foreplay._

"Calm down man," Jasper whispers.

I nod. For the next hour, I get to have my hands on Bella, all parts of Bella. I look down at my hard-on that hasn't left since Bella greeted me in that not-so-there outfit. _Sorry buddy_._ Hopefully you'll get your turn, soon._

"We're ready!" Alice hollers from the other room.

Taking a deep breath, I follow behind Jasper, pick up the remote from the table and hit play. Smooth instrumental sounds fill the room. Bella is laying face down with the sheet pulled down to the middle of her back. She has her arms pulled up hanging off the front of the table. Her eyes are closed. I can see the edge of her breasts smashed against the table. _Fuck me._

Coming to stand by the side of the table I rub my hands together to make sure that they are warm, grab the massage oil and pour a good amount into my hands.

"Let me know if this is too cold," I whisper to Bella.

"Hmm," she replies.

She is comfortable, almost like she is going to go to sleep. I look over and see Alice and Jasper looking at me. I shrug my shoulders and start on Bella's back. _Fuck me, she's groaning_.

I lean down to her head and whisper. "Bella, you need to stop groaning."

"And why is that?" she smoothly replies.

"Because you sound like I'm fucking you."

Her eyes pop open and she is gawking at me. "Is that an invitation?" she winks and closes her eyes again.

"Bella!" Alice scolds.

Bella opens her eyes. "Sorry, Edward."

"Um, no problem." I choke out.

The girls talk while we work on them, with Jasper and I contributing to the conversation occasionally.

Bella has an amazing body, very lean and muscular, but not like a body builder. You can tell that she's athletic. Her legs are the best part, those thighs, and the curve of her ass. _Yep, got to rub the pert ass. And yes she is naked underneath this sheet._

But her body isn't the thing that I notice the most during the massage; I notice the feeling of electricity that is passing back and forth between my hands and her body. It's like she is emitting an electrical charge and my hands are stimulating the charge dragging it around her body. _Completely amazing._

I have the sheet pushed up so that it is basically just covering her ass, I'm working on her hamstrings and her upper leg near where I want to bury my head, and I can swear that she is wet. Not like sweating wet; she's wet as in aroused wet. _Could I be turning her on?_

All and all, I would say that that is the best massage that I have ever given in my life, and from the sounds that Bella is making, it is the best one that she has ever received. She has practically melted into the table by the time I finish.

We leave the girls to recover from the massages, and set up a small lunch on the patio. After lunch we leave the girls to set up the pedicures. Jasper is going to administer Alice's pampering in her bedroom and bathroom and I am going to handle Bella's in mine. _Bella in my bedroom. Down boy!_

I'm in my bathroom filling up a pitcher of warm water for Bella's pedicure when I hear a knock at my bedroom door.

"Come on in. I'll be just a minute. Have a seat on the couch," I state.

When I come out with the pitcher, Bella is standing in front of the windows, gazing out at the landscape. I place the pitcher on the floor near everything that I have set up and approach her from behind.

"Lovely view, Edward. I've never been up here before," she explains.

"Yes, it's quite lovely." I place my hands on her shoulders and turn her to lead her back to the couch.

I'm trying to restrain myself, specifically my cock. I can smell the coconut oil from the massage and all I want is to place her on the bed and worship her by making her scream my name over and over again.

BPOV

I sit down on the couch, and Edward sits down on the floor in front of me. I'm glad that I decided to change back into my t-shirt and shorts instead of staying in the robe like Alice. _Nothing like flashing the girly bits._ But I can imagine what will be going down in Alice's room during the next couple of hours; she wouldn't need to get dressed anyway.

He has everything laid out beside him, all the necessary tools, polish and scrubs. Edward takes my left foot, removes my flip-flop and places it in the tub on the floor in front of him, then repeats with my right foot. There are tiny petals and small beads in the tub. He takes the pitcher of water and runs it over my feet. The petals and beads release a warm coconut scent when the water hits them, relaxing me immediately.

I am nervous about this part of the day. I should have been nervous about his hands all over my backside. He was almost growling the whole time, and as the massage went on, his growling turned into purring.

But a pedicure, a foot massage? That is different, completely sensual to me; if he thinks I was groaning and moaning before, he is sorely mistaken. My feet are definitely one of the most sensitive erogenous zones on my body.

I am watching all the moves that he is making, paying particular attention to his tongue slipping in and out of his mouth, licking his lips. _Can I help you with that?_

He looks up and smiles that amazing crooked grin at me and I melt on the inside. He lifts my left foot out of the tub, and places it on the towel that he has on his knee. Then takes a tube of foot scrub, applies a liberal amount, and starts to rub and massage my foot.

I groan and lean back against the back of the couch.

"God, that feels so good Edward," I coo. _What the fuck? I'm cooing now._

He doesn't reply, but continues to massage my foot. He places it back in the tub and repeats the massage on my other foot. He is gentle with my feet, almost worshiping them, applying the right amount of pressure, eliciting the same wonderful sounds that come from my mouth during sex. _Hmm, Edward and sex. Stop that Swan!_

Once he is done massaging, he proceeds to give me a pedicure, one thing that I never, ever thought I would see a straight guy do. He finishes up by painting my toes a very bright cherry red.

"There, all done," he states.

I look down at my toes and smile, and then I lift my gaze to Edward to see him beaming with pride. _Smug little bastard_.

"Thank you," I whisper.

I stay seated on his couch while he cleans up everything. Looking around his room, I observe that it is completely Edward. There are tons of books, CD's, even a nice vinyl collection, with everything neatly organized. He has an impressive stereo system. The remote is on the edge of the couch; I pick it up and hit play. Immediately, the room is filled with beautiful music from a piano, nothing that I recognize, but very lovely and warm.

He rushes out of the bathroom, grabs the remote from me and turns off his stereo.

"Sorry," he says, blushing. "I don't mean to be rude. I'm.... just not ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Nothing." He turns, throws the remote on the bed and returns to the bathroom.

I stand up and walk over to the bathroom door determined to continue this conversation. Before I can get a word out of my mouth, Edward speaks.

"Don't ask Bella. I can't talk about this right now."

"Okay, Edward." I walk into the bathroom, place my hand on his back and rub small circles to reassure him. He looks so confused.

Right now, I am confused. There is no doubt that I am attracted to Edward, but I know that I can't act on this attraction. I don't deserve happiness. I only deserve loneliness. _My past actions have marked me, barring me from any future happiness_.

He closes his eyes. "Thank you."

EPOV

She doesn't know that I have written a song for her. It started to compose itself in my head the first day that I met her, not even realizing that she was the cause. But since last week, I have come to the realization that it's for her. I've started putting it down on paper, working it out on the piano and finally recording some to listen. It's not complete; I want to add a track of guitar to the song. It has to be perfect for her.

Bella rubs my back, and the motion is soothing. I look up in the mirror and see her looking sad in her reflection and tired. I turn to face her, raise my hand and stroke her cheek. _Please be happy. _She breathes, and relaxes into my hand. I can't help it, I have to, and I lean in and kiss her gently on the lips.

"Don't," she whispers, pulling back. "I'm no good for you."

Before I can ask why, there is a knock at my door.

"You guys ready for a movie?" Alice asks, entering my bedroom.

I take Bella's hand and lead her out of the bathroom.

"Um, sure. What movie?" Bella asks.

"Ladies' choice," Jasper replies.

The rest of the day is less tense than those few moments in my bathroom_._ We watch a movie, eat some dinner and I drive Bella home. I want to talk to her, understand what she is thinking and what she meant by telling me that she isn't good for me. _God, I wish I could read her mind._

"Bella, talk to me. What's going on in your mind?" I ask, pulling up to her house and cutting the engine.

"Nothing, Edward," she says before pausing. "I know that I can't be what you want me to be for you. I'm not that girl."

"Don't you think I have the right to make that decision for myself?"

"Not in this case. Things are the way that they are, and they can't be changed." _What the hell is she talking about?_

"Bella, can't we talk about this. I just want to spend time with you," I say. "I like you."

She shakes her head and reaches for the door handle. I grab her wrist and she pauses.

"I'm sorry Edward," she whispers.

As much as I want to jump out of the car, walk her to her door and kiss her goodnight, I hesitate. She is tense and has been since the kiss-her emotions evident in her body language. _Way to fuck this up asshole._

So, I let her go. I watch as she makes her way toward her empty house, head bowed and shoulders slouched, her body the picture of utter defeat as she enters and closes the door.

* * *

AN: One note about the car details in this chapter. I love cars, and these are some of my favorites (and for those who don't get the reference, that Porsche is the one that Tom Cruise drove in _Risky Business_). I look at the collection of cars that Aro has like the collection of vampires/powers that he has in the books. One vice for another.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**AN: A final thanks to Project Team Beta for assigning my permanent betas for this story, Niki & Sarah, because without them, I would not know where to put a comma (and I still don't).**_

* * *

BPOV

Entering the house, I collapse against the back of the front door, leaving the lights off. Rubbing my temples, I try and sort through what has happened today. _So Edward likes you, it's not the end of the world_.

I'll never be good enough for anyone, I'm better off alone. My offenses do not warrant me clemency. I just need to distance myself from him, remove the temptation on both sides. I can do that. I can control this.

Standing up, I brush myself off and head upstairs to my studio. I gather a clean canvas, fresh paints and some clean brushes. Three hours later, I have a new piece, something completely different from my other work, different in a good way. My work is usually an expression of my darker side; my palette of blues, blacks, and grays living in a world of confusion on the canvas. I've surprised myself, not knowing that I had this in me to produce. The colors are warmer and inviting, and swimming in a sea of a composed arrangement. Stepping back to view this new piece from a distance, my body tingles, and warms. This is a new feeling, a new outcome to my work that I have never felt before.

The feeling leaves my body and suddenly I'm tired. I drag myself to my bedroom and collapse on the bed.

I manage to keep a distance from Edward during the next five days. I have a good excuse too, preparations for the Fourth of July celebration at the pool on Thursday. We are planning games, door prizes, food provided by the kitchen from the clubhouse, bringing a grill over to the pool for burgers and hot dogs, and ending the festivities with 'Floats & Fireworks'. Any one can bring a float or tube and float in the pool during the fireworks display, truly a unique experience.

Between sitting in my office to avoid Alice and Edward, and fulfilling my duties on the stand, I successfully void talking about my feelings. _Yep, I'm in control_.

Demetri does manage to bug me on a daily basis, and I notice Tanya circle Edward like a hungry shark drawn to fresh cut bleeding fish. _Disgusting._ The funny thing is, every time she gets close to him, he sneers, rolls his eyes and manages to drive her away without words.

On Wednesday, it seems as though the entire community is at the pool. We are running double stands.

Aro returns with James but no Jane. He gives a friendly wave to me on the stand. Caius and Kate are both back, along with Felix's wife Heidi. _Why he ever did anything with me with a wife like that I will never know._

Thursday arrives, and everything is in full swing. I order lunch for my crew, sandwiches from the clubhouse. It's close to two before it is my chance to eat, and it is the first time all week that I get to eat lunch outside of my office. I am sitting at the front desk eating my sandwich and relaxing a little, when a man walks up to the desk. He's someone I have never seen before, but it's not unusual for a member to invite a guest and have them meet him or her at the pool.

Swallowing my bite and taking a quick sip of my drink, I clear my mouth to speak. "May I help you, sir?"

"Um, I'm looking for Kate Denali," he speaks with a gruff voice. I notice how big this guy is. Not as big as Emmett, but certainly someone I could not wrestle to the ground.

"She's over there. Hang on, I'll go get her for you." I stand up and move around the desk to retrieve Kate.

Before I can take a step towards the deck, the man moves around me, waving me off. "No problem, I can find her."

"Sir, wait. The pool is for members and their guests," I state with my voice fading off while he walks determinedly away from me and towards Kate.

_Oh, something is not right about this._ I flag Ben in the chair, pointing to the man. I continue my path to the deck, following him and make my way over to Ben's chair, the closest to where Kate is sitting, pawing Caius.

"Kate." The man abruptly announces himself.

"Garrett, what are you doing here?" Kate stumbles.

"I'm here to collect you," Garrett calmly states.

"Collect her? Who the fuck do you think you are?" Caius spits back standing up.

"I'm Kate's true love you wrinkly old fart," Garrett defends.

Caius steps up to stand directly in front of Garrett, who is towering over him, but Caius doesn't back down. You don't get Caius' level in business or in life without having a huge set of brass ones. "True love? What's he talking about Kate?" he states more to Garrett than to Kate.

"Well, if you must know. While you are spending all your time with work, she is in my arms and my bed."

"Garrett, what are you doing?" Kate screams.

"I can't take this anymore, Kate. This has to stop. You don't love him. You love me. Please come back with me." Garrett pleads.

_Now, this is a show!_

Everyone in the listening area is speechless, starring at what is going on between these three. I glance over at Alice who is silent, shocked, and her mouth hanging open. Edward and Jasper are in the same state sitting in chairs on either side of her.

Kate stands up, and Caius moves to stand in front of her, putting himself directly in between Kate and Garrett. I see Garrett's fists at his sides. _Oh, this is not good._

Before anything can happen, I turn to Ben, and nod silently. He hops down from the stand and flags down Tyler and Eric on the other side of the pool. They hurry over to where I am standing, all three flanking me.

"Okay, why don't we take this somewhere else to discuss," I state confidently.

"Nobody is going anywhere but this asshole," Caius sneers at Garrett.

"Caius, just let me have a word with Garrett," Kate states placing her hand on his arm, rubbing it up and down, and obviously trying to calm him. "There's no need for violence."

Caius turns to look at Kate, who at this point has tears welling in her eyes. Caius raises his hand and strokes her cheek. "Don't be too long. I'll miss you," he whispers.

Kate smiles, but she is still sad. She puts on her cover up, and follows Garrett who is starting his way back to the front desk and the pool complex entrance.

We follow them, the boys still flanking me. Once we reach the front desk, I offer Kate and Garrett the use of the office that doubles as the guardroom for privacy, which she thanks me for.

They enter and shut the door behind them, while at the same time, all four of us release swooshes of breath.

"Man, what the hell was that all about?" Tyler asks.

"I'm not sure, but it certainly added a little something extra to the day," I mumble.

The boys resume their positions around the pool as the guests return to their regular activities. I notice Caius putting on his t-shirt, standing, pacing around his chair. Aro, on the other side of the pool, motions to Caius to come over to speak with him.

About ten minutes go by and everything from the office is quiet except for some mumbling. _God, how I would love to be a fly on the wall in that office right now!_

Alice stands up and skips over to me at the front desk, where I have yet to sit back down.

"What's going on in there?" she asks.

"Not sure, mostly quiet, some mumbling, nothing breaking, so it can't be all bad." I shrug.

We hear a thud against the door to the office, and turn to look at the door, then back to each other. Alice stifles a giggle.

I turn back to the pool and see Caius and Aro making their way over here to the front desk.

"Shit." I move to the door and knock gently.

"Hey, guys, times up," I gently state.

I look back at Alice, and then lean my head closer to the door, seeing if I can hear anything.

"Bella, do you mind if I try?" Aro asks behind me.

I jump. "Hmm, sure."

I move out of his way and he knocks forcefully on the door. As he is reaching for the doorknob, it opens. Garrett exits, hand in hand with Kate, faces flushed and lips swollen.

"Caius, I'm sorry. Garrett is right," Kate softly speaks.

"What do you fucking mean, he's right?" Caius yells.

Before I can stop anything, Aro is holding Caius back, Garrett is being tugged by Kate, and I am standing in the middle, holding my arms out like I can stop these two men from tearing each other apart with my strength. _Ha!_

About 30 seconds later, the front desk area becomes even more crowded. Edward, Jasper, Ben, Tyler, Eric as well as James, Felix and Demetri all rush up to assist in preventing a fight. Nobody is taking sides, everyone is just trying to separate the two and keep everyone calm. _Hello, Jerry Springer!_

A few more harsh words are spoken between Garrett and Caius, followed by Garrett pulling Kate out of the complex to his car that is in the circular driveway out front. Aro and Felix are restraining Caius. Aro keeps whispering in his ear, trying to calm him.

The crowd slowly dissipates, except for Edward, Jasper and Alice. We are all gossiping and making theories on what has happened. Alice and Jasper finally move back to their chairs, leaving Edward and I still talking.

"So, tell me why you have been avoiding me all week, Bella?" Edward leans in and whispers.

"I have not been avoiding you, Edward. I have been busy setting things up for today." _What? It's true!_

"Can we talk later?"

"Um, sure. Later tonight?"

"Sounds good." Edward turns and heads back over to his chair.

I'm so confused. I like Edward. I'm attracted to Edward. But I know that I am not right for him. Is it better to start a relationship with him, and lead him on just because of our attraction to each other? How long could that last? What happens when school starts? More importantly, what happens when he finds out about my 'indiscretions'?

There are too many things to think about, to work out in my head. I have a little more time before things start for the evening festivities. I put my sunglasses on, turn the chair and stare out at the pool.

_Time to think. You like Edward. He likes you. Attraction, connection, intellectually. Single. Hmm, single. Haven't done that in a while. You did say after that last time with Aro that you would take control and not fall back into that pattern again. Dating Edward would be a different pattern. And there is something about him. I could give him a chance_

The evening starts out with some water games for the kids and teenagers. The food is brought in and set up, along with a grill that the clubhouse kitchen staff has brought along to cook everything. Mr. Banner, the head chef is personally overseeing the food.

The gossip about Kate leaving is buzzing around like the flies near the food. Everyone is talking about the incident, coming up with their own theories on what happened.

Most people circulate and mingle, filling their plates and eating around the pool, either at their chairs or at some of the tables that we had setup around the edges of the pool, for this event.

The sun sets during dinner, giving a nice atmosphere to the event. Fluffy pink clouds line the sky. All the deck lights are turned on, along with the lights in the pool.

I leave the festivities for a moment, heading to my office to grab the payment envelope for the fireworks crew. They received half up front and would expect the other half after the show.

I come out of the office to join everyone back on the deck to see the fireworks, when a strong pair of arms grabs me from behind. "Well hello, beautiful. " His smooth words wrapped around my head as his arms snaked around my waist to pull me back to him. _Oh no, Demetri_.

"What are you doing, Demetri?" I coldly ask.

"I'm tired of waiting for you, Bella," he coos.

He brings his head closer to mine, slithering his nose along the back of my neck. _He's smelling me! Ew!_

"Demetri, let me go," I growl.

"Oh, Bella, why fight it. You know that you want me too," he confidently states.

"I said let me go." I start to struggle away from him, but his grip is too tight around my waist.

"I believe the lady asked to be let go." _Oh shit_, the velvet voice that belongs to my new hero.

"Edward, this is none of your business. Go back and keep my wife company," Demetri sneers.

Just then, I'm ripped away from Demetri's grasp and land right into Edward's arms. "I believe that Tanya is looking for you. Bella, come, you're going to miss the fireworks." Edward coos.

"S-Sure," I sputter out.

Edward takes my hand and leads me back to where everyone is gathered to watch the fireworks.

"Thanks," I state still in shock over what just happened.

"It's nothing. You need to stay away from him," he states in a protective tone. _Where did this come from?_

"I have been," I mumble.

We walk back over and join the crowd that is mingling, waiting for the fireworks. Edward doesn't leave my side, both of us scanning the crowd for Demetri. We eventually spot him back with Tanya, and witness a rare moment of their brand of public display of affection. _Ew!_

The festivities end and everyone heads home. Edward lingers. I know that he is trying to protect me, even though we saw Demetri and Tanya leave along with everyone else. _Oh shit, too much like my fantasy_.

My crew and I finish closing up, and we all head out to our cars. I say goodbye, with Edward standing beside me. He isn't going to let me go without talking first. _Well, no time like the present._

"Take a ride with me, Edward." I request.

"Sure."

We both hop in the Jeep. The wind is rushing, the night sky perfect, the stars are everywhere. We remain quiet, just enjoying the sound of the wind. I head to the activity field in the Grand Estates community. There shouldn't be anyone there and there is the gazebo that we can hang out in.

I park, and we walk towards the gazebo. Stepping up, Edward grabs my wrist and turns me around to face him.

"I don't want to stay away from you any longer," he quietly states.

_Well damn. How the fuck am I supposed to talk to him now?_

"You've been avoiding me all week. Tell me why," he states.

_What is it with the perceptiveness in this family?_ "I'm not avoiding you, Edward. I'm just not the kind of girl that you want to get involved with, on any level."

"Who says you're not the kind of girl I would want to get involved with? I'm sorry if I have given you the wrong impression, but I do like you Bella." He pauses. "Just let me in."

"You can't mean that Edward." I turn and walk to the opposite side of the entrance, keeping my back to him. "You don't know me. Trust me, you don't want to be involved with me." I sigh. I have to know more before I can take that chance.

"Edward, we need to talk." I turn to face him.

"Talk about what?"

"Tell me about Victoria," I request.

"What about her? How much did Alice tell you?"

"She told me enough. But I want to know more about how you felt when you found out about her 'indiscretions'."

"Why?"

"Just answer the question. Please." I throw him a sweet smile and pout my lips to sweeten the request.

"Fine." He situates himself by sitting on the railing, pulling his feet up to rest on some of the rails.

"Victoria was a bitch. I see that now. It took time. I was stubborn and foolish to believe that she would never cheat on me. I just don't see how anyone, if you loved them, could ever do that."

_Oh great_!

"I guess she was never in love with me. And in looking back, I really don't believe that I was in love with her. I was deluding myself, looking for something that wasn't there in the first place." He has been looking down during his little explanation, fiddling with his hands.

"Thank you, Edward." I pause. "You know that I like you too right?"

His head snaps up. He is looking at me with lust in his emerald green eyes. _Fuck me._

"I'm glad that you like me. Why did you want to know more about Victoria?"

"There are some things about me that you need to know. And you telling me about Victoria, helps me figure out where your mindset is." _Okay, time to rip the preverbal band-aid off._

"There is no easy way to say this. I have been the other woman. I have been involved with married men."

"It doesn't matter," he calmly states.

"What the fuck do you mean 'it doesn't matter'?" I yell back.

"You are a good person, Bella. I know that you would never hurt me."

"You're deluding yourself again, Edward."

"I'm sure that I sound crazy and maybe I am deluding myself. But during the past month, being back around family, around Alice, meeting you. I have learned to appreciate what is right in front of me. I have been miserable for so long. Waiting for something, but not knowing what that something is. And meeting you, well, that is definitely _something_."

"Edward, I'm not _something_. I'm trash. Leftovers. I'm never…"

"Just stop, Bella. You're putting yourself down when you don't even see how great you are. I can only imagine that these married men were drawn to you because you are special."

"I'll always be that girl. I'll never get away from that title or label. Men like Demetri will always be around."

"Well, I don't care. I'm here now, and I can protect you. I just won't stand by and watch Demetri try and attack you all the time anymore; or any man for that matter," he explains.

I hear him mumble, "I should be the man in your life."

He looks so sincere. How could l not give him a chance? He trusts me. I don't think I can hold back from him anymore. My resolve to hate or avoid him is failing. _But he doesn't hate you silly Bella. He likes you._

Before I know what I am doing, I walk over to him and stand in front of him, nudging myself between his legs. I am face to face with him. "I can't believe that I'm going to do this." I lean forward, immediately intoxicated by his smell. _Hmm, spicy and sweet._

I'm drawn forward like a magnet. Our lips touch. The electric current that was present when Edward gave me my body and foot massages is present, strong and overwhelming. His lips are soft and sensual, a sweet mixture of silk and velvet. _And the taste! Who the fuck goes around tasting like this?_

Just as I am getting addicted to the feel of his lips on mine, his tongue slips into my mouth. _So wet and warm_. _Oh my God, I am in heaven_. I wrap my arms around his neck to help deepen the kiss while he places his strong arms around my waist to draw me in even closer to his body. The kiss starts out slow and gentle, but turns into something raw and aggressive. Our mouths move with force as if we're attempting to devour each other. My hands go right for his hair. _So soft and inviting._ Just long enough for me to grab and pull. He moans when I pull.

His hands start to rub up and down my back, pulling me closer and closer to him, making my back arch and my breast press up against his chest. His hands start inching towards my ass. _Oh God, this has to stop_. I can't sleep with him. It doesn't matter how much I like him or he likes me. I break the kiss, panting and breathing heavily.

"We have to stop. This can't go any farther than kissing. It always gets me in trouble. I giggle at my self-depreciating joke.

"That's fine. Whatever you can give me. I'll take it," Edward whispers.

* * *

**AN: So sorry to all readers for the delay in posting this. Between my computer dying, getting a new one and dealing with the holidays, my writing has taken a backseat to everything else. Hope the holidays were great for everyone.**

**My Christmas present to myself-a Twilight tattoo (my first tattoo-the first of many to come).  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_***readers rub eyes* Yes, it's true, a new chapter. So sorry on the long delay.  
Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for helping this story not look like complete crap. More at the bottom.  
**_

* * *

BPOV

"Kiss me, Alice."

"What the fuck, Bella?" Alice spits.

"Come on. I need to confirm whether there is a kissing gene with the Cullens or whether it is an Edward thing," I plead. "If you don't, then I'm going to have to seduce your dad when he visits next week."

"I don't think so!"

"Oh, come on!" I plead.

Alice and I are sitting on the back patio of her house, drinking margaritas and waiting for the boys to come back from the store with some steaks to grill.

"No seducing my dad. Just go ahead and fuck Edward," she suggests.

"No, things are great the way that they are. Nice and slow."

I decided once I started to date Edward that we would take things slow. I have been in purely physical relationships in the past, never really dating, except for James. I wanted the experience of getting to know someone without sex being a factor. Bless Edward for submitting to my wishes.

"Well, from your request, I can imagine that you are having a good time?"

"Yes, Edward is a gentleman and one hell of a kisser. Jasper must be a very happy man," I state wiggling my eyebrows at her.

"Yes, he is," she pauses. "So, tell me how things are going."

"Well, the past three weeks have been great. Edward and I are 'dating', which is something that I haven't done since James."

The past few weeks we've spent most of my free time together. Almost every night we gather at the Cullen house for dinner with Jasper and Alice. Rose and Emmett have started making an appearance several times a week to join in on the fun which consisted mostly of cards, board games, DVD games and video games.

I continue to tell Alice how sweet her brother is being, taking me on dates, picnics, the movies, following me home some nights from the pool to make sure that I arrive safely.

The one thing I can't tell Alice is how fucking sexually frustrated I am. If I have to pleasure myself anymore after getting so turned on by Edward and his magical mouth work, I'm going to need to see a surgeon about the carpal tunnel that I will develop or acquire stock in a battery company.

What is worse is that I know how much our limited physical relationship is affecting Edward. He walks around pretty much 24/7 with a hard on, doing his best not to rub up against me to find some much needed friction.

"I'm glad to hear that," Alice coos.

"Yeah," I agree, sighing.

We sit there in silence and relax on the patio chairs waiting for the boys. "So, about that kiss," Alice leads.

"Really? Would you? I have to know. And I don't think Jasper will talk to me about the Cullen kissing gene theory that I have," I plead again.

"Yeah, sure."

We both sit up in our chairs and face each other. I put my drink down and lean forward and place my hand on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me. She closes her eyes and I make my move to kiss her.

"What the fuck!" Edward yells from the patio door.

"Sorry, we got bored," Alice offers. She stands up and hops past Edward, into the house, off to find Jasper.

I stand up and make my way to Edward. I wrap my arms around his neck, giggling at the stupid stunned look on his face.

"What?"

"What the hell, Bella? Were you just getting ready to kiss my sister?"

"Yeah," I whisper.

"Why?"

"Well, I have this theory…," I start to explain.

"Damn it, not the Cullen kissing gene theory again."

"Yes. How did you know about that?"

"I overheard you telling Angela one day at the pool," Edward answers.

"Well, I figured Alice would be the next best candidate to test the theory. That is unless you want me to test your dad next week," I jest.

"Fuck that." Edward grabs my head and kisses me with absolute passion.

I wasn't kidding when I told Alice about my theory. Edward has some mad skills when it comes to kissing. He is sensual with a powerful tongue, and his lips are always so soft and gentle against mine. His hands move along my body when we kiss, snaking into my hair and rubbing my back before moving to squeeze my ass. The boy was born to kiss-he was the very definition of passionate kissing.

But considering that is about all that we ever do, he is making the most of it at the moment.

He releases his tongue and lips from mine and makes his way down my neck, nipping and sucking towards my collarbone.

"Stay tonight," he whispers against my skin. _He always asks me to stay with him._

"I can't. I have an early meeting with Sue," I explain. _And I always say no. Too tempting._

"Can I come with you? I can help carry."

"Hmm," I moan as he continues his path, nipping skin on the swell of my breasts. "Sure, bring Jasper's Yukon. We can get more in there anyway."

I feel the smile on his face. Edward has yet to see my paintings. He begs me constantly, but I never let him into the house. I'm normally ready if he is coming to pick me up, never giving him the opportunity to snoop. I'm just not ready to expose that part of myself to Edward. My paintings are my emotions on canvas, very personal.

"Great. I'll bring some coffee and bagels for the ride," Edward says, beaming. _Smug bastard_.

We head inside and I refresh my drink and help with dinner. Before the steaks go on, Emmett and Rose join us.

The next morning, Edward and I are on the road to school for my appointment to see Sue. If she likes any of my paintings then she will take pictures and forward them with my application for the fellowship. I still don't think I have a chance in hell, but Sue is adamant about me submitting.

"I can't wait to see you work, Bella." Edward coolly states.

"I just hope you aren't disappointed," I explain.

"Why would I be disappointed?"

"Well," I pause. "Some of my work at the end of the school year and the beginning of the summer is kind of…dark. But after I started working at the pool, my pieces have started too…um…change."

"Change?" Edward asks.

"Yes, the colors that I started using were brighter and what I would call, more passionate."

We continue to talk about my work, and other painters in history that have influenced me. Before long, we are pulling up to the familiar Fine Arts building at school.

Edward and I head inside and grab a cart to help bring all of the wrapped pieces in in one load. We unload and head to the studio where Sue is waiting for me.

"Bella, so great to see you," Sue coos pulling me for a hug. "And who is your helper today?"

"Sue Clearwater, this is Edward Cullen," I introduce the two. Edward extends his hand to shake hers.

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Clearwater," Edward politely greets her.

"Please, call me Sue. So, let's see what we have, shall we?"

I have Edward help me pull the pieces out and unwrap them and place them leaning against the wall on the floor. Once they are all unwrapped, I make sure to put them in the order in which I painted them. I know it is weird to display them like that, but they are my paintings and it feels as though looking at them from left to right is like reading a book written of my emotions.

"Wow," Edward gasps.

"You like?" I whisper as Sue critiques.

"Very much. You're very talented."

Sue looks and tilts her head, as she walks back and forth in front of the pieces. She stops at the center of each section. I really don't have these in sections per se, but you can tell from the colors that certain ones belong together.

"Bella," Sue begins. "You have really grown. I want to pick five total and photograph them to submit with your application. I know that you think that you don't have a shot at winning, but I really think you have something here."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes," Sue and Edward answer at the same time.

I'm happy to hear that they are so complimentarily of my work. And excited that Edward got to see everything at once. Holding back, giving him everything to look at one time is the only way that I wanted him to see my work.

We pack up and head back and Edward silent on the ride home. He seems like he is reflecting_. It's times like these that I wish I could read his mind._

It's Saturday, and I am on the stand, in my rotation on the busiest day at the pool. James and Aro are here today, along with almost every member of the club. Jane is still missing, _thank God._

My shift is over and Ben replaces me. As I am walking back to the front desk, James comes up from behind me and grabs my elbow.

"Hi, Bella," James announces himself.

"Hi, James. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering what you are doing for lunch today?"

"I normally have lunch with Edward why?" I don't mean to sound rude, but since I work most of the day, and Edward and I can't really hang out, our time when I am not on the clock is precious.

"I was wondering if you would like to join my father and me for lunch today," James requests.

"Um, sure. Just let me tell Edward." I hate not to have lunch with Edward, but a little time away won't kill us.

He nods. "Sure, we will come collect you at noon." He squeezes my elbow and heads back over to where he and Aro are sitting. I make a turn to the other side of the pool where Alice, Jasper and Edward are.

I sit down on Edward's chair and he sits up and rubs my back.

"What was that about?" Alice asks.

"James asked me to join them for lunch. I hope you don't mind, I said yes."

Edward kisses my cheek. "Sure, just please, be careful," he whispers the last part. I'm not sure why, but I'm inclined to heed his warning.

"Sure, are we on for dinner tonight?" I ask to reconfirm our standing date.

"Yes, baby, dinner, then a movie in my bedroom, okay?"

"Hmm, back rubs too?" I coo as I nuzzle his neck.

"Yes," Edward hisses.

Later at the Cullen house, Alice and I are preparing dinner when she decides to interrogate me about my lunch.

"So how was lunch today?" Alice asks slicing up some veggies for our salads.

"Interesting. It has been a while since I have been around both of them at the same time. Their dynamic has changed. James is no longer Aro's son, he's just James."

"Hmm."

Alice lets me continue. "And Aro was quiet, more so than usual, just sitting there nodding his head, watching James and I talk like we were a tennis match, very odd."

"Well, I'm glad things went smoothly. I know that they are your past. I'm just glad that they are not making an impact on your present," Alice offers.

The thing is, that was what we talked about, my present. We talked about school, my paintings, and oddly enough, Edward. James was curious like a gossiping girlfriend, offering advice and suggestions. He was acting like he was a new relationship guru since he was in one himself.

I noticed the only time when Aro tensed was when James talked about Vicky. James informed me that she would be joining him for two weeks at the beginning of August and demanded that Edward and I go on a 'double date' with them. _A double date, really?_

On Wednesday, Edward picks me up for work since it is my late morning. He makes it a point to always hold my hand and often brings it to his lips.

The day is normal at the pool, the slowest day of the week. After work, we eat dinner at the Cullen house, and play some gin rummy. Later in the evening, Edward drives me home, walks me to the front door and kisses me good night.

I enter the house and drop my bag in the front hallway before grabbing a bottle of water and heading up to bed.

"Bells?"

I jump at the sound of the voice coming from the dark and unlit living room.

As I reach for the light switch on the wall, I call out the name of the last person I expected to hear call my name from the dark. "Dad?"

EPOV

The girls are inside preparing the salads and mixing up some fresh margaritas, while Jasper and I are at the grill putting the steaks on.

"Dude, my girl was trying to kiss my sister," I whisper.

"Are you sure?"

I nod.

"Fuck, why?"

"Bella and her crazy Cullen kissing gene theory," I explain.

Jasper shakes his head and takes the steaks off the grill.

My relationship with Bella over the past few weeks has been unlike anything I have ever experienced. In the past, my relationship with Victoria was based on misplaced trust. Then after her, there were no relationships, only brief physical encounters that left my heart aching for something else.

Bella is special, and there aren't too many people like her in this world. She is fierce, protective, loyal, beautiful and sensitive. When I told her that I would take whatever she gave me, I didn't think that not having her in a physical sense would be a part of that equation.

My body craves her. I have never sported a hard-on so much in my life. My dick is actually becoming a little chaffed from me spanking off so fucking much. I had to buy special silicone lubricant since using lotion was drying up my skin.

Bella is walking sin. Her body is perfect, toned muscles with curves and soft skin that is completely lickable. Whenever we are together, my hands are always on her in some fashion. I can't help myself. Her body is like a magnet for my hands. I restrain, respecting her wishes to keep our relationship somewhat chaste.

The next day when I help Bella with her paintings at school, I'm not really sure what to expect from her work. Her mind is a mystery to me. But looking at the paintings leaning up against the plain gray wall of the classroom, they are dynamic and passionate. Her strokes of the brush are full of feelings. In some of her darker pieces, you could almost feel the pain leap from the canvas.

I'm stunned, and truly honored that she would allow me to see her work. And my bugging the fucking shit out of her for the last several weeks didn't hurt either.

The following week, I arrive at the pool, hoping to catch Bella off the stand. I want to ask her about coming over for a private dinner tonight after arranging for Alice and Jasper to make plans to be at the Hale house for the evening. I don't expect anything to happen, so my main objective is to spend some alone time with her, slow dancing in the living room with her in my arms. Just being with her is enough for me right now.

When I approach the front desk, Angela is sitting there looking stressed.

"Hey, Angela. Is Bella on the stand?"

"No, she called in, she won't be in today," she huffs.

"Did she say why?" I inquire.

"Yeah, Charlie's back," she almost whispers.

I blink several times trying to absorb the information that was just relayed to me. Charlie, Bella's father, is back.

Bella really hasn't talked about her father, and neither has Emmett. Bella's childhood memories mostly consist of Emmett and her mother, Renee. Charlie is never mentioned, so I assume that there are unresolved issues between them.

I turn back around and get back in my car. I pull my phone out and call Alice to inform her of the news. She didn't know and wants me to call when I hear from Bella.

Rather than waiting for Bella to call, I immediately drive over to her house. Her Jeep is in the driveway and everything sounds quiet. I park on the street and sprint up to the front door.

Bella answers the door looking tired and puffy eyed. She has on a tank top and some gym short, with her hair thrown on top of her head in a mess of curls.

She opens the door to let me enter, and I take her in my arms and hug her fiercely.

"Is everything alright?" I whisper in her ear.

"Yes and no," she croaks.

My heart breaks not knowing what has transpired over the past twelve hours, but from the red swollen eyes to her croaky voice, I would gather that it wasn't fucking good.

I pull back and take her face in my hands and focus her eyes to mine. "I'm here."

Understanding my simple message, she returns her head to my chest, snuggles and lets out a soft sigh. I feel her relax in my arms. _Oh, what I wouldn't do to keep her here._

A voice clears from behind us, and I look up to see an older gentleman standing in the hallway. I assume he is Charlie. He is shorter than Emmett, and not as thick, but still built so that you are intimidated by looking at him. He and Emmett share similar facial characteristics, the dimples, the dark brown hair, but he and Bella share the same deep brown eyes. He looks worn in the face, like life has beaten the shit out of him. He has a few days of scruff on his face and he is in desperate need of a hair cut.

Bella pulls back and turns to face the man.

"Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my dad, Charlie," Bella quietly introduces us. I extend my hand and he forcefully shakes it. Only gripping tight enough to silently tell me that 'if you hurt my daughter, I'll fucking kill you'.

There are only a few things about Charlie that I know. Sources include Emmett, Jasper and Alice, but never Bella. He left Forks when Bella graduated high school and left for college; he was devastated by the death of Renee; he was closed off to his children when they needed him the most; and he is a retired cop that is now a bounty hunter.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. Bells here has only good things to say about you," Charlie coolly states.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Swan." I return the cold greeting.

He turns and walks back into the kitchen and I look back at Bella to make sure that she is all right. She nods as she pulls me into the kitchen. We proceed to sit down and have a very cold conversation that consists mainly of twenty questions for me from Charlie.

Once we are done, I suggest that we have dinner tonight at the Cullen house with Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice.

Charlie agrees, stating that he is only going to be in town for a few days. With that statement, Bella moves closer to me, and I tighten my grip around her. Charlie's glare at our physical contact intensifies.

"Alice, Charlie has agreed to have dinner with the six of us this evening," I explain on the phone. I'm in Bella's living room, and she is on her cell phone in the hallway with Emmett. Her conversation is hushed. I wonder how long Charlie has been here and when and if Emmett was informed of his arrival. Surely a father would want to see his son.

"No problem. I've got some chicken that I can pull out. What time?" Alice chirps, trying to make light of the situation. She obviously is more informed about Charlie than myself.

"Great, I'll bring Bella and we will be there around four." We end our conversation and I return my attention to Bella who is pacing back and forth in the front hallway.

"I don't care what you think, Emmett. Dad is here," Bella whispers.

She pauses to listen to his response.

"Don't do this for him, do this for me," she pleads.

She pauses again.

"Fine, see you at five. And Emmett, please behave," Bella lowers her whisper even more.

I approach her and pull her in for a hug.

Charlie clears his throat and we both turn to look at him. "I'm going to take a bath and lay down for a little while. Just wake me up a little before it is time to go." And with that, he marches up the stairs.

I turn to Bella who looks like she is going to burst at any moment.

"Let's go outside for some fresh air," I tell her, pulling her out the back door.

Bella's backyard backs up to the woods, and there is a bench located at the edge of the woods. It is a log cut in half perched on wooden legs. We sit and I tuck her into my side, trying to convey my protectiveness of her.

"I'm sorry about this. I haven't had a chance to call. We have been up all night talking," she explains.

"There is nothing to be sorry for. Did he say things to upset you? I can see that you are bothered."

"Yes, well, we have been talking about many things, and some yelling on my behalf. Charlie is confused and lost. I'm still not really sure why he has returned," she explains.

She breaks down into a sob and buries her head in my chest. I tighten my grip around her wanting to do anything to prevent from her feeling any pain.

After a while, she calms down and she starts talking to me again. She explains that Charlie showed up yesterday and was waiting for her when she got home. She yelled at him, and he took everything she gave, before she broke down in front of him. He held her and they talked about the period right after Renee died, and he admitted that he was lost and in a sense still was. She continued her summary of what they talked about, including where he has been over the past five years.

"He's been all over the country, from coast to coast, taking odd jobs, but mostly working as a bounty hunter because of his law enforcement background. This last year he has been in Montana, and has met a woman who doesn't take his shit and is helping him heal."

The crying began again but then she quickly recovered to continue her story.

"He's in love with her and is going to marry her. She said that she would only marry him, if he came home and made amends with Emmett and me," she chokes out.

I hold her and rock her in my arms, praying that she will never leave my embrace.

Eventually, we go back in the house. I make her lie down on her bed and rest.

"Please, stay with me?" she pleads.

I don't respond, other than shutting her bedroom down, toeing off my sneakers and crawling into bed with her. I hold her, her back to my chest, and for the first time since we have been going out, I don't want to maul her. I only want to take away the pain.

We awake later, and prepare for dinner. Bella takes a quick shower and puts on a simple sundress. We pile into the Jeep and head to my house. When we arrive, Alice bounds out of the house, heading straight for Bella, taking her in for a massive hug. They whisper things to each other and a smile creeps on their faces before some giggling erupts.

"Charlie, can I get you anything to drink?" Jasper asks as we sit on the back patio.

"Beer would be fine, thanks."

I follow Jasper and help him gather drinks for everyone.

"How is Bella? She looks kinda rough," Jasper asks.

"They have been up all night talking and when I arrived today, she was a fucking mess," I pause. "She'll be fine."

As we are heading back outside, we hear the front door open and close. We both pause and watch the normal path that most visitors take leading to the back patio. It's Emmett and Rose.

Emmett has a look of panic and rage. _Fuck, this is not going to be fun._

They follow us out and Charlie winces upon seeing Emmett.

"Charlie," Emmett coldly greets him. "Let me introduce Rose, my girlfriend and Jasper's sister."

Charlie stands and shakes their hands and sits back down.

The conversation for the next hour is cold and rigid. I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life. Charlie gives yes or no answers to questions prompted by Bella and Alice to stimulate conversation.

Dinner is even more awkward with everyone quiet, and only the sound of utensils hitting the plates and food being eaten.

After dinner, we sit around the living room, and Emmett starts to get fidgety. He has barely spoken a word all night, and Rose has not left his side.

Rose excuses herself to the bathroom and all hell breaks loose. Emmett stands and approaches his dad, who stands to defend himself. They yell and scream at each other, with Bella trying to place herself in the middle, yelling back mostly at Emmett.

Rose returns and manages to pull Emmett back and drags him out of the house. With the evening officially over, I drive Bella and Charlie in her Jeep back to her house.

"Call me if you need me, and I'll be here in a flash," I tell Bella saying good night to her on the front porch. Charlie goes inside, stomping his way up the stairs.

"I will," Bella whispers. I kiss her goodnight and drive back to my house and collapse from the emotional day.

The next day at the pool, I arrive later in the day, knowing that Bella has the later shift and I want to stay till she closes. When I arrive, I find Bella sitting at the front desk, and Demetri leaning over having an intense conversation with her. As I approach, he glances my way before whispering one last thing to her, winking and walking off.

"Hey, Bella. Everything alright?" I ask hoping not to sound like a dick.

"Yeah, everything is just fine." She stands up and comes around the desk to give me a hug and a sensual kiss. My mind forgets what it was originally thinking.

I chat with her a little before joining Alice on the deck. After lying around in the sun, I decide to take a dip in the pool. After swimming around, I take a spot against the edge of the pool, close my eyes and relax by leaning against the wall.

"If you ever hurt her, I'll fucking break your legs, Edward," a dark voice growls at me.

My eyes pop open to find Demetri standing next to me, mimicking my position.

"Excuse me?" I question.

"You heard me, pretty boy. Fucking hurt her…" he starts again.

"No, I heard you. What I mean is why the fuck do you give a shit?" I spit, interrupting him.

He doesn't respond, giving my brain some thinking time. _Oh fuck, he's one of them__—__one of the married men._

My mouth forms an O as I glare at him. He nods, acknowledging that I know and we have an understanding.

I decide not to talk to Bella about Demetri's warning, not wanting to add to any of the stress that she has had recently with Charlie returning.

The next day, Bella is bouncing around the pool like a kid at Christmas. When she gets off her stand for the first rotation, I motion for her to come over. She fucking skips over.

"What has you in such a good mood?"

"Charlie is leaving today, and he and Emmett spent yesterday making amends," she whispers.

_Well, fuck, I never saw that coming._

The next couple of days, Bella is happy, more than happy, ecstatic. I've never seen her smile so much, lighting up and glowing like her own star. I'm hoping that whatever went down between her, Charlie and Emmett was a change for the better.

The following week, I arrive at the pool to find Bella sitting on an empty lounge chair, talking with James and a female wearing a huge hat. I put my stuff in a chair and walk over to where she is. As I approach, Bella turns to see me, stands and comes to stand by my side. She reaches up and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Edward, this is James' girlfriend, Vicky. Vicky, this is my Edward," Bella introduces me. _My Edward._

I turn my gaze from Bella to greet, only to be greeted by the last person I ever expected to see, _Victoria.

* * *

_

**A/N: ****If you haven't heard, there is a new outlet for FF writers: The Writers Coffee Shop (http://thewriterscoffeeshop(.)com)****, where many of FF writers are moving their stories to. Make sure to pop over and sign up. Truly a great site!**

**One of my beta's, Niki has been writing, a very unique story. Make sure to check it out www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/5704444/1/**

**If you like a Greaseward or BettyBella, make sure to write your own version for the Greasers & Dolls contest.  
www(.)fanfiction(.)net/community/Greasers_and_Dolls_Contest/77809/ I encourage everyone to write.  
**

**Thank you for everyone reading, reviewing and putting this on alert.  
Again, I'm sorry for the delay in updating. I have the rest of this story mapped out and hope to post more often.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for reading two edits on this chapter. More at the bottom.

* * *

**_BPOV

I don't know how it happened. One minute I was unsure about my relationship with Edward, knowing that I wasn't good enough for him, scared that I was leading him in the wrong direction. And the next, a shit storm hit, throwing everything around in my life, landing me square on my ass in an upside down world.

Charlie came back, which I am happy about, but confused. We talked, I yelled, and cried.

Then the next thing I knew, Demetri was apologizing to me, telling me that he only wished for the best for my new relationship. I couldn't be 100% sure, but I bet Felix had his 'brotherly' talk with Demetri after the incident on the Fourth of July.

Just when I thought the smoke was clearing, I came home from work that same day to find Charlie and Emmett in the living room, drinking beers and empty pizza boxes on the coffee table.

"Bells, you're home!" Emmett yells, thinking he is talking in a normal tone of voice.

"Em, I'm right here, you don't have to yell."

I sit down beside him on the couch and an eerie familiarity sets in. Charlie is in the recliner, whatever baseball game is on, and Emmett looks at peace.

"So, what have you two been up to today?" I inquire.

"We talked," Emmett whispers.

"Talked, talked?"

"Yes, Bells, we talked. All is forgiven. Now can you two shut up so I can watch the game?" Charlie grumbles.

I smile and let a little giggle leave my lips. He might have talked to us, expressing his feelings for the first time in years, but he is still the same old Charlie.

The next couple of days fly by and everything that has happened makes me ponder what the hell I am doing in my relationships—not just with Edward, but Emmett and my other friends. You could say that I am a friend, but most of the time, I'm sullen and closed off, whipping snide and inappropriate comments.

If Charlie can travel all this way and listen to me bitch and moan, yelling at him about everything that he has done wrong since mom died, then I think I can make amends too.

I start slow, smiling more, listening to what others have to say, and not dwelling on what I have done in the past. _It's the past, right?_

I kiss Edward more, talk to Emmett and tell Alice and Rose thank you for no reason other than to say thanks. Everything seems to be orbiting in the right direction.

The following week at the pool, I arrive early to get some paperwork done. I'm sitting in my office, working on the last two weeks of schedules when Angela pokes her head in.

"Bella, you're being requested out here."

I stand up and head out of my office to find James and a beautiful redhead.

"Bella, I wanted to introduce you to my girlfriend, Vicky," James coolly introduces us.

"Very nice to meet you, Vicky." We shake hands and I follow them to their chairs, chatting while they settle in.

"So, James says that you are an artist in graduate school," Vicky states.

"Yes, I'm working on my portfolio this summer."

We talk a little more about art, and she seems quite interested in seeing my work. I normally don't get to talk about art with my friends, and people in my field, because all have such different opinions about everything that it is almost like stepping into a debate when having a conversation about art.

We are in a deep conversation when James interrupts us, "There's your boy." I turn and see Edward, and the grin never leaves my face as I stand up and take my place next to him. I lean up and give him a quick peck on the cheek, only wishing I could do more.

"Edward, this is James' girlfriend, Vicky. Vicky, this is my Edward," I say, introducing Vicky.

I notice Edward's face harden like he has just been introduced to the Grim Reaper. I stroke his arm hoping that I didn't do anything wrong by calling him _My Edward_. We have never talked about what we are doing. Are we just dating or are we boyfriend and girlfriend? I would hope the latter.

"Victoria," Edward coldly replies.

_Vicky. Victoria. Edward's Victoria. Oh. My. Fuck._

"Wait, do you two know each other?" James questions.

Edward grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer to him, and kisses my neck, lingering and running his nose along my skin until reaching my temple where he kisses me again. _Jeez Edward, just pull your dick out and piss on me._

He growls and turns back to James, "Yes."

"Did you know this, Bella?" James asks.

"Hell no. How could I have known that the two of them know each other?" I snarl back.

"Edward and I were high school sweethearts," Vicky sweetly explains.

Edward is running one of his hands along my arms and his face is buried in the side of my head in my hair. He abruptly breaks the connection he has with my head and turns to speak. "Come now, Victoria, I wouldn't call us sweethearts. Besides, you were the one cheating on me during the relationship."

"Okay, I think we need to continue this conversation for another time," I hurriedly speak. I grab Edward by the arm and drag him into my office to calm him down.

I push him on the couch and sit next to him, sitting with my legs crossed, facing his body as he melts into the couch and leans his head against the back.

"Are you okay?" I ask. I gently brush his face and run my fingers into his hair to help sooth him.

"Hmm, not really, but this is definitely helping," he purrs.

His eyes open and he looks at me, staring into mine with a burning intensity. I blush from the passion that he is radiating.

"God, you are so beautiful when you blush," he whispers.

My blush deepens.

"Bella, tell me more about your past. You know about Victoria, and I know about James, but I don't know about any of your other, um, relationships."

"I can't talk to you about those." My happy mood is fading. I'm trying to think of something to give him to help him learn about me. Unfortunately, sex is the first thing that comes to mind.

"James was my first. We were so young and clumsy," I nervously giggle. Remembering those first few times having sex with James, I'm surprised I ever ended up having sex again. "But as time went on, the others became a sexual educational."

He is still staring at me, willing me with his eyes to continue.

"I really can't but more so, I don't want to talk about them. It's in the past, I've always been safe, and tested, if that is what you want to hear," I say, offering up what I think he wants to hear.

"That's not what I want to hear," he mumbles.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Whatever you want to do with me," he coos.

"Well, you've met everyone around Grand Estates. I think it is only fitting that you met my other family at La Push."

He raises an eyebrow and I grin in response.

The next day, Edward comes by to pick me up and I kiss him into letting me drive. The curves to La Push are made for his car.

We arrive and park at R.C. and Jacob's house, as they both come running out of the house to hug me. I had called them during Charlie's visit to tell them what had been going on, and they both were supportive and happy that our family was able to make amends.

"R.C., Jacob, this is my Edward," I gush.

Edward grins and shakes their hands.

EPOV

_She said it again._

My heart explodes every time she says those words.

Ever since her dad came home, and their family started to mend, she has started to open up to me, even more than before. She's more affectionate than she has been, making her actions speak louder than words. I know that we are reaching some type of crossroad, somewhere in between casually dating and relationship status. And there is nothing that I want more than to progress my relationship with Bella.

I am falling fast and hard, and I really don't care how much it scares me. Bella is worth it.

We spend the day hanging out and talking with Jacob and R.C. I can tell how close the three of them are, sharing stories of growing up together and the many many days that Bella spent with them after her mother passed away.

We eat lunch and then head to the beach to join the rest of her adopted family. I watch as Bella plays with children in the ocean, her smile a mile wide from the joy that she is experiencing, and my own smile mirrors hers.

This day is perfect, the exact thing that I need to help me forget that Victoria is back.

Seeing her yesterday, sitting with that psycho James, the only thing I thought was how no other two people deserved each other more.

"Edward, come for a swim," Bella requests, bringing me out of my thoughts of yesterday.

She is wet from the ocean and plops down in my lap, soaking me.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispers in my ear.

Ghosting my fingers along her bare leg up to her hip, I finger the edge of her bikini. Her skin reacts with goose bumps, and I smile at her body's response to my touch.

"Later. Come, let's play." Bella hops off and pulls me up from the chair dragging me into the ocean.

We splash and I chase after her a bit, getting lost watching her firm backside run away from me.

Scooping her up, I pull her toned body to mine and swim out until the water is at my shoulders. She wraps her legs around me, snuggling her body close to mine.

"Are you okay about Victoria? Is that what you have been thinking about?" she quietly asks.

I've been thinking about her, yes. But only to bring closure to my mind on what that relationship was about. Seeing Victoria brought all those thoughts to the forefront of my mind, making me wonder more about Bella and her past. I trust her, but adding to my knowledge about her would help solidify that trust.

"Yes, I'm fine though, even if I didn't act it yesterday," I pause. "Sorry if I acted a little possessive. I just wanted her to know that you're mine and that she means nothing to me. I finally see that I misunderstood our relationship back then."

"You were young. How were you supposed to know how to act in a relationship?" she asks.

"I'm just glad that I grew up," I pause. "And now, I have you in my life." We stare into each other's eyes. I don't know what she is looking for, but I have found everything I could ever want, right here in my arms.

"I'm glad to have you in my life too," Bella whispers. She kisses me, and my arms lighten around her body. This is the most intimate position that we have been in, and everything feels so right. Her slick body pressed up against mine, her heat so near my aching dick. What surprises me more is the pounding of her heart beating against my chest.

Our kissing deepens and her hands are fisting in my hair, as my hands are roaming her backside, landing on her toned ass. I massage her butt, earning a moan from her.

"Bells, stop trying to suck his face off," R.C. yells from the shore.

Our kissing stops, and Bella is redder than I have ever seen her. We are resting our foreheads on each other, trying to slow our breathing down.

Bella pulls back to reveal a massive smile. "Seriously, where the hell did you learn to kiss?"

I grin and peck her on the mouth once more before swimming us back to shallow water.

The rest of the afternoon, we spend playing with the kids and the rest of Bella's friends. There is a cookout on the beach and a bonfire. We sit on a blanket in front of the fire, with Bella snuggled in between my legs. The fire is warm, and soothing. After some time of quiet between us, I look down to see Bella asleep.

I carry her to my car and say goodnight to a smiling Jacob and R.C. I'm glad I was able to make a good impression.

Instead of taking Bella to her house, I bring her to mine, laying her down on my bed, while I take the couch just so I can be in the same room with her.

"Edward?" Bella's voice wakes me in the early morning.

"Bella? What time is it?" I grumble.

"It's early, four a.m. I have to go get ready for work. Why didn't you take me to my house?" she whispers.

"I just thought it would be easier for you to come here," I explain.

"Well, next time, make sure you sleep in the bed too. I was lonely," she coos.

_What?_

And here I was trying to be a gentleman and not invade her personal space.

"Don't worry, next time you'll have to beat me off with a stick," I joke.

She gently kisses my forehead before leaving my room. I pull myself off the couch and crawl into the bed to find the warm spot that Bella has left. I curl around the pillow that she was sleeping on and breathe in her scent which was mixed with salt and sand.

The next week and a half fly by, with the end of the summer approaching. The pool will be closing in a couple of days, and school will be starting soon. I haven't had a chance to look for an apartment, but have made plans with Alice and Jasper to check out a few places on Friday. Bella would come, but she has plans with Emmett for the day, sort of a family thing before she returns to school.

It's Wednesday afternoon on the last week of the pool being open, and I'm sitting in my lounge chair reading a book when my line of sun suddenly becomes blocked. I look up to see James and Victoria.

"My father and I are having a little party tomorrow at the house. We would like to extend an invitation to you and your family," James dryly states.

"May I bring a guest?" I question.

"If you mean Bella, then yes. But she already said that she would come," Victoria chirps.

"Fine, we'll see you tomorrow. Please tell your father thank you for the invitation."

With that, James and Victoria swagger off to their side of the pool.

"Alice," I turn to see her face down, her large floppy hat covering her head.

"I heard. Do you really want to go?" she asks.

"Not really, but I bet Bella would be upset if we didn't at least make an appearance."

I look over to see Bella at the front desk, talking to Angela and Ben. _She looks so, happy._

The next day, Bella manages to get off work a little early and is dragged by Alice to our house to get ready.

"Bella will be down in a minute," Alice sings coming out onto the patio.

Jasper and I are relaxing, after only having to take thirty minutes to get ready for the evening. I'm casual in a pair of khaki shorts, a royal blue button down with the sleeves rolled up and some comfortable deck shoes.

I have a short cocktail in my hand, Crown Royal and Coke, and munch on some snacks that we brought out with us.

The wind blows and I smell the most delicious scent, _Bella_. Looking up from my drink, I see her coming out onto the patio. She is simply stunning, wearing a form fitting strapless navy blue dress. There is a pattern of roses embroidered all over the material. She is wearing natural makeup, her hair gently pulled up on one side with jeweled combs, and her feet are adorned with matching navy blue strappy sandals.

"Are we ready?" she asks.

We head to the party, and enter to find most of the community in attendance. There is a buffet with food, open bar and wait staff filtering throughout. We all grab some food, and some drinks before taking a seat in the main living room.

We keep mostly to ourselves with only the occasional interruption from a Grand Estates resident who comes up to speak with Bella, complimenting her on the great job she has done this summer with the pool. When asked if she will be returning next summer, she shies away from answering, only to turn to face me and blush.

After sitting for a while, we see Aro and James filtering into the room, making the rounds, speaking to everyone. When they arrive to where we are, we all stand to chat briefly with them. James hugs Bella, while glaring over her shoulder at me. _Fuck you asshole._

Then Aro surprises me by embracing Bella as well. I have never known Aro to be an affectionate person, so the display is uncomfortable not only for everyone watching, but from the look on her face, Bella's as well.

Victoria joins us and makes her way around to stand beside me. She tries to make easy conversation, asking about people from high school. I constantly have to remind her that I left after high school and haven't been home since. As my very odd conversation with Victoria continues, a few moments pass before I look around to check on Bella who was last chatting with Aro and James. She is missing, so I assume that she has gone to the restroom.

I begin to ignore the blabber coming from Victoria's mouth and start to scan the room. I glance over at Alice and Jasper who seem to be in the middle of their own conversation.

"Did you two see where Bella went?" I lean over to them and ask.

"She left the room with James a little bit ago. I thought maybe she was going to the bathroom," Alice quietly states.

I start to feel uneasy about James being the last person that Bella was seen with. I look over at Victoria who is grinning at me.

I leave our group and make my way towards the hallway with Victoria hot on my heels.

"Edward, stop, wait," she calls.

"What do you want, Victoria?" I growl continuing towards the hallway.

She grabs my arm and turns me around throwing her arms around my neck, clinging to me.

"What the fuck, Victoria? Get the hell off me." I pull her arms and manage to push her back.

"Oh, Edward. I don't know what I was thinking," she mischievously giggles.

I stare at her, she is grinning. _Something isn't right_.

She takes a step back to me and leans in to whisper in my ear, "Don't worry, James is just welcoming her into the family again."

_No, he wouldn't do that_. The grin on Victoria's face says it all. I have to find Bella, quickly.

I grab her arms and shake her, "Why the fuck would you do this? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Releasing Victoria, I turn in the front hallway and race up the stairs that are directly behind me, in a desperate panic to find Bella. Reaching the top of the stairs, I think that he would take her to one of the bedrooms. I've never been in the upstairs of this house before so I turn to the left and rush down the hallway, where every door closed. I waste precious time as I try every door until I reach the fourth door. The knob turns and I open to find James holding Bella against the wall, yelling at her.

"You fucking whore. Who do you think you are turning me down?

"James, you're an asshole," Bella spits back. She struggles from his grip, trying to fight off his attack.

My heart sinks into my stomach at the sight before me, but then when I hear his words, my rage takes over as I prepare to rescue Bella.

I launch myself across the room and rip him from where he has her positioned against the wall, pulling him hard enough that he lands on the floor. I look to Bella and see a seething, mad as fuck woman. Her fists are balled up and she looks like she is ready to beat the shit out of James.

"Bella, come on sweetheart. I didn't mean any of that. Come back to me, please?" James coos.

She moves from the wall where he had her pinned and comes to my side and takes my hand in hers, lacing our fingers tightly together. "James, nothing would ever make me come back to you. If you haven't noticed, Edward is who I want, not you," she sneers.

James stands and brushes himself off. I nudge Bella to stand behind me, but I am met by her resistance to my silent request.

"You know that this isn't over, Bella. You will be mine again."

Bella lets go of my hand, steps forward and slaps James across the face. When he faces her again, she slaps him again and knees him in the groin. He collapses to the floor.

"We'll see what your father has to say about that," she growls at a withering James on the floor. My mouth has dropped to the floor at her actions. I've never been prouder.

She steps back to my side and resumes her death grip on my hand. As we exit the room, Victoria is standing in the doorway shaking her head at the scene that has played out in front of her.

We rush back downstairs and gather Alice and Jasper to leave.

"What the hell happened?" Jasper whispers as we reach the car.

"James attacked Bella," I reply through gritted teeth.

We all climb in, with Bella at my side in the back seat.

Alice turns once we have pulled away to speak. "Oh my God, Bella, are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine," she says quietly. She nuzzles closer to me and I tighten my hold.

Jasper is driving rather quickly back to our house, his death grip on the steering wheel saying more than words on what is going through his mind.

I was thinking the same murderous thoughts until Bella handled the situation herself, putting James on the ground.

I give a quick explanation of what I saw in the room.

"Then Bella slapped him then kneed him in the junk. He's probably still trying to locate everything," I coolly explain.

"I'm so glad that you're not hurt, Bella," Alice whispers directly to Bella, who is lost in thought and unresponsive.

"Do we need to call the police or Aro?" Jasper suggests.

"No, I'll talk to Aro tomorrow," Bella speaks up. It's the first time since we left that room that she has spoken.

Once back at our house, I take Bella to my bedroom to talk.

"Are you okay?" I sit her on my bed and check her out to look for any marks that ass might have left on her. If he has, I'm calling the police and pressing charges.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken up, that's all," Bella quietly replies.

I brush her hair with my hand and she stops the motion with her own.

"Edward, would you make love to me?" she whispers. She is still looking down, as though she is asking for something that she is not worthy of. _My love._

I don't speak but pull her up to look me in the face before kissing her sweetly. Her lips are plump and her mouth tastes sweet like the wine that she was drinking. I strengthen the kiss and crush her to me.

Our passion quickly builds as or clothes are shed, littering the floor of my room.

Lying in my bed, she is everything I want, naked and ready underneath me while I hover over her.

"Bella, I love you," I whisper. She doesn't respond verbally, but just pulls me closer to kiss me. Her hand snakes down between us, she strokes my cock, swiping it back and forth along her wetness. She places the tip in and I thrust, only to be overwhelmed with the sensation of being with Bella.

Our lovemaking is passionate as my confessions of love fill the air and Bella cries out my name as she climaxes.

I whisper my love to her and we rest, my mind and emotions are a strong mix of love and joy.

We fall asleep tangled in each other's embrace, where I feel comfortable and complete, having made love to Bella for the first time. My sleep is restful, with sweet dreams intermixed with sounds of someone crying, only for me to awake in the morning to an empty bed.

* * *

**A/N: I'm working hard on the next chapter, it's almost complete. Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing and hanging in there with me.  
**

**If you haven't heard, there is a new outlet for FF writers: The Writers Coffee Shop (http://thewriterscoffeeshop(.)com)****, where many of FF writers are moving their stories to. Make sure to pop over and sign up. Truly a great site!**

**One of my beta's, Niki has been writing, a very unique story. Make sure to check it out www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/5704444/1/**

**If you like a Greaseward or BettyBella, make sure to write your own version for the Greasers & Dolls contest. We extended the deadline till the end of March. Spread the word!  
www(.)fanfiction(.)net/community/Greasers_and_Dolls_Contest/77809/ I encourage everyone to write.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**As always - Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for their awesome beta skills and holding my hand through this chapter.

* * *

**_

BPOV

"He's sweet on you," R.C. whispers.

I look over at Edward who is watching us play with the kids in the ocean's waves.

"He is, and I think I'm sweet on him too," I quietly reply.

She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me in for a hug. "I'm so happy for you."

I grin because it's the only thing that I can do. I am happy. Edward makes me happy.

That night he took care of me, putting me in his bed and sleeping on the couch. I had to goad him the next morning by telling him he could have slept with me in the bed. The look on his face was priceless.

When I arrive home to get my gear for work, I check the mail to see if anything has come from school. Sure enough, there is a letter, but not from school, from New York.

My hands shake as I open the thin envelope. _I don't expect to get in,_ I mentally tell myself.

_Dear Ms. Swan,_

_We would like to extend an invitation to you for our Fall Fellowship Program……_

I stop, I can't believe it; I'm accepted.

Not sure what to do next, I robotically move to get ready for work. I gather my bag and head to the pool. I'm early, very early, so I setup a few things and then take a swim, using the repetitive motion to work through the thoughts in my head.

_New York._

_Edward and Seattle University._

_The experience of a lifetime._

_Edward and something I have never had before, a loving relationship._

I continue to swim, picking up my pace, pushing myself with each lap. My first instinct is to say no, but I have a little time. I don't have to decide anything yet, but my spot is waiting for me if I choose to go. But how can I go? My feelings for Edward are such a big part of my life. I never thought that I could be this happy or feel this strongly for one person. _Yep, I've definitely fallen._

I shake off my thoughts and prepare for work. The next days and week speed by, and I am still unsure of what to do. I am leaning toward staying, only because I feel like if I leave Edward, I might not ever get him back.

Wednesday morning, I'm sitting at the front desk when Aro, James and Victoria enter the complex.

"Bella, how are you doing?" Victoria sweetly asks.

"Fine, thank you, Victoria."

"Bella, we're having a little party at the house tomorrow night. If we can convince Edward to join us, do you think you might be able to come?" Aro requests.

"Um, sure. Did you want me to talk to Edward about coming?"

"Oh, no, we will ask him ourselves," James replies.

I smile, not completely sure how to act around them when they are together. We haven't really spoken since the other week when Victoria came to visit.

I don't want to go to the party. But since Aro personally asked me to attend, it would be rude to turn him down. Of course we have a personal history together, but I am also a close friend of the family. I think he is satisfied with seeing me happy with Edward. I want to show Aro that I have changed and that Edward is the reason.

The next day, while Alice and I are getting ready, I talk about Edward as she gushes at how much Edward has changed me, softening me. I hope that tonight I can express my feelings towards Edward. I want to tell him that I am falling in love with him and how scared I am, but I'm not sure if he feels the same way for me. I know that he likes me, and of course there is a wonderful physical connection between the two of us, but he isn't much for expressing his feelings verbally to me.

Alice leaves me to finish getting ready, and I reflect once more on the choice that is before me. If I decide to go, I have to be in New York by Monday. I brush away these thoughts and ready myself for what is sure to be an odd evening. When I step out onto patio to join Edward, his gaze burns and my body warms without his touch.

At the party, the food is delicious and I have a glass of fruity white wine to sip on. We talk and I am interrupted several times by some of the patrons of Grand Estates giving me thanks for an enjoyable summer at the pool.

"Are you planning to return next year?" Charlotte asks.

"Um, I'm not sure. It depends on school really," I reply.

The truth is, I don't know what the hell this next school year will bring, let alone where we'll be next summer. Edward and I have yet to talk and establish what we are doing, and with school starting, our relationship could change. I turn to look at Edward and my heart melts as he smiles at me.

At some point, Aro, James and Victoria wander over to our group and everyone makes polite conversation. James gives me an awkward hug before I receive an unexpected hug from Aro. As with James, it too was awkward and uncomfortable. Not at all like the embraces that I have received from him in the past. I wasn't sure if they were trying to act like they had never hugged me before or if they were nervous about Edward standing behind me while they were touching me.

As we all talk, I notice Victoria making her way to talk to Edward, all the while watching me, giving me the most uncomfortable feeling. I'm not sure what her thoughts are, and her past with Edward is far from pleasant, but I only hope that he behaves himself and can learn to be civil towards her. _No need to be an ass._

I mention that I need to use the restroom, so James leads me away from our group and tells me to use one of the bathrooms upstairs. I thank him and make my way up to one of the guest bedrooms. After freshening up, I step out of the bathroom to find James sitting on the bed.

"James, what are you doing in here?" I notice that the door is shut.

"I wanted to talk with you in private, Bella."

"I don't think there is anything that you have to say to me that can't be said in front of our friends and family." I make a step towards the door, but James pops off the bed and places himself directly in my path.

"Oh, I don't know about that. How do you think Edward would react if he knew about you and my father?"

"Edward knows about my past," I state the half-truth. He knows about the married men, but just doesn't know who they are.

"Liar. He doesn't know about my father," he mocks.

_Fuck! How the fuck does he know? Better yet, how long has he known._

"And just how is it that you know about Aro?"

"I had my theory, but you confirmed it back in June when I caught you leaving his apartment." He pauses. He takes a step closer. "My father always did have a soft spot for you." He stops and reaches his hand to caress my face. I cringe and turn my head away from his unwanted affection. "Anytime you wanted to drive one of our cars, all you had to do was sway those luscious hips and bat those pretty fucking eyes and he jumped."

He moves even closer to me, as I back up and pin myself against the wall.

"Did you think I came back this summer to spend time with my father? Oh, I came back here for you, sweetheart. You got away from me once, but you don't need to ever leave me again. Victoria, you and I are going to be a very happy little family," he coos.

"A happy family? Since when did you adopt a polyamorous lifestyle?" I pause and let out a little giggle to hide my disgust at what he is suggesting. James was always so sweet, but now he is showing me his true colors. "You know, I really don't care for women as lovers. I prefer a real man," I pause. "Like Edward."

He pins me against the wall, grabbing my arms and holding me in place.

"That little fucking asswipe, you think Edward is a real man?" he growls.

"I know that I love Edward, something that I never felt for you."

He laughs. "Edward doesn't love you. He is just after what every other man in the town wants."

"Well, you know what, he is the first one not to try and sleep with me," I spit back. "That's all you ever did, James. Wooing me, playing the gentle boyfriend, all so you could fuck me. And look where it got me, sleeping with your father."

"And Edward would just love that bit of information. Or better yet, how would everyone feel about that little juicy nugget," he purrs.

"You wouldn't say anything against your daddy dearest," I sweetly reply. "Let me fucking go, James!"

"You fucking whore. Who do you think you are, turning me down!" he yells at me.

"James, you're an asshole," I spit back.

I see Edward over his shoulder, lunging and grabbing James, pulling him to the ground.

"Bella, come on sweetheart. I didn't mean any of that. Come back to me, please?" James coos.

"James, nothing would ever make me come back to you. If you haven't noticed, Edward is who I want, not you." I'm seething mad, with my fist by my side. I'm ready to beat the shit out of James for even speaking to me.

James stands and brushes himself off.

"You know that this isn't over, Bella. You will be mine again," he growls at me.

_That's fucking it._ I step up to James pull back and slap the shit out of him. As he recoils back to face me, I slap him again and kick him in the junk. He goes down like the sack of shit that he is.

"We'll see what your father has to say about that," I growl back.

Victoria is standing in the doorway as we leave and I shake my head in disgust.

The ride in the car back to the Cullen house is quiet. Edward has me tucked into his side in the back seat, holding me close, and peppering kisses on my head. I sigh and recall the last twenty minutes. I don't want to believe James that Edward would care who the men were that I had slept with. He knows that they were married men and that's where I left our discussion.

It's my past, a past that I am not proud of. I don't want to hurt Edward, and I'm scared of what my past might do to our relationship.

_He would leave me, if he found out about Aro. He would never forgive me._

I don't think I can risk hurting him any more that I already have. I'm not good enough for him, and I never will be. I know what I have to do. I can't be with him anymore, and I can't ever be what he needs or wants. _This is the end of my happiness._

"Are you okay?" Edward asks, pulling me from my thoughts. I've been so lost in thought that I didn't realize we had arrived back at his house, and we are currently sitting in his bedroom. His hands and eyes are roaming my body, looking for any signs of damage.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken up, that's all." _I'm not fine, I'm worse, I'm never going to be good enough for anyone, and I know that now._

He's so gentle with me, caressing my skin and hair, in a loving way that I have never felt before. I could give him this one last thing, the only part that he has never asked for, my body. I can do this for him.

All I have to do is ask, it's that simple for my last offering. "Edward, would you make love to me?"

He presses our bodies together as he gently kisses me. I melt into his embrace, never wanting to let go.

We hurriedly strip as our passion for each other pushes us to the desire of making love for the first time.

Edward is hovering over me, starring adoringly into my eyes. I can see the spark in them, and his look is something that I have only ever seen a few times—the way that Alice looks at Jasper or the way that Emmett looks at Rose.

"Bella, I love you," Edward whispers. As I hear the words, my heart breaks and a traitorous tear escapes my eyes. Before I can respond he kisses me.

Edward does make love to me, worshipping and bringing my body pleasure that I have never know before. I try and keep my tears at bay, giving my body over to the pleasure that he is giving me. Feeling the love that is pouring from his body, I can't help but feel that this is the right thing, to give him my love and my body.

As he sleeps, I watch him memorizing his face. He looks so peaceful. I realize that leaving him, giving him back to the world without the baggage that I carry, is best.

I sit up in bed and gather my knees to my chest and cry. Making this decision hurt so much more than I would have ever thought possible. I never got to tell him that I love him. _There is no need; quick and clean is best._

Wiping my never ending tears, I decide right then that I need to go to New York, and to accept the fellowship. Pulling myself away from him, and removing my past from his present is the best course of action for him.

The worst part about my decision is that just as I am learning to open up, learning to love, I have to break my own heart. My pain is the sacrifice that I must suffer.

Edward and Alice are planning to go to Seattle to apartment hunt tomorrow, so I only have a small window to flee without having a major confrontation about what I am doing. Edward is persuasive, and one conversation with him could change my mind.

I slip out of bed, dress and leave the house quietly. Returning to my house, I immediately get online and check flights. There is one that leaves late tomorrow, well later today. I book the flight and start to pack, only taking what I can in two pieces of luggage.

I shower before I finish packing. From my mental list, I call Angela to tell her that she needs to close up the pool for the summer and that I will make sure that she receives a bonus for completing my duties. Next is calling Emmett to ask him to come over around lunch so that we can talk. I ask him to clear his schedule for the rest of the day, letting him know that I will explain when he arrives.

The last call is the hardest. It is the one phone number that I have never dialed. Aro.

"_Hello,"_ his raspy voice answers his cell phone.

"Aro," I whisper.

"_Bella?"_ he questions. I know what he is thinking, something must be wrong. I never call him, ever.

"Yes, I need to talk to you about something."

"_Please don't tell me this is about James,"_ he states. It's not a question to him, so I can imagine that James has already been talking to him.

"Yes, I'm sorry, it is about James," I sigh. "He attacked me at the party last night, going on about bringing me back into his life. There was also mention about Victoria being, um, involved in wanting me as well."

I can hear his breathing on the other end of the phone. He is silent, obviously thinking about what I have just said and countering it with what James has already said to him about what happened last night.

"_I knew something was odd about Victoria."_

"I'm not sure what it could be. James never elaborated."

"_There is no need to. I did a background check on her. Let's just say that she has a colorful past. Are you hurt? Is there anything that I can do for you?"_

"No, I'm fine. But I'm leaving, today. The only thing I do ask is for you to make sure that I never see James again."

"_Done. Please travel safely, and call me if you need anything."_

"Thank you."

I hang up and sigh feeling somewhat relieved that Aro will take care of James and Victoria.

I move my bags downstairs and place them by the front door. Coming back to my room, I pick up my phone to call Sue to tell her that I am taking the fellowship, only to see that I have missed two phone calls and one text, all from Edward. _I can't listen or read otherwise I will crumble._

Sue is beyond excited for me, going on and on about how great New York is and all the wonderful things that I will learn during my fellowship. She wishes me the best of luck.

I straighten my room, my studio, and the rest of the house while waiting on Emmett to show up. I sit down at my small desk in my room to put pen to paper and write the lies that will bind my heart while giving Edward's its freedom. The hours drag before I hear Emmett unlock and enter the house.

"Bells!" Emmett yells from the front door.

I rush downstairs and throw myself into his arms and burst into tears, the weight of my decision finally settling into my heart.

"Shh, Bells, what's wrong?" Emmett coos. He carries us both to the living room, sitting us down on the couch.

I finally calm down and work up enough voice to tell Emmett about last night. I leave out the major parts about my past relationships, only to explain to him that Edward and I want different things in life. I explain the fellowship, letting him know that getting out of Forks is the best thing for me right now.

I hand him the sealed envelope for Edward, but he refuses to take it from me.

"Bells, are you sure about this?" Emmett asks.

"Yes," I croak. The tears are at bay, knowing only that they won't have to wait long to pour out and drown me.

He hugs me tighter, and holds me for a little longer. The time arrives that we need to leave for the airport. We take my bags and load his car. The drive is quiet as the numbness sets in.

Before Emmett drops me off for my flight I beg him not to tell Edward where I am, even though I'm pretty sure he will know. I take his hand and place the short note that I wrote to give to Edward. As I pass the words of deception to him, my heart breaks in two.

* * *

**A/n: I'm not going to lie, this was a hard ass chapter to write. I cried a few times.**** Thanks to everyone that is reading, reviewing and putting this on alert.  
****The Writers Coffee Shop-learn it, know it, love it.  
I'm going to go put my big girl panties on and write another chapter. Hopefully I won't cry, but I seriously doubt that.**

**B-you're in my thoughts. C-I miss you like crazy.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**As always - Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for their awesome beta skills and making sense out of my words.**_

**More at the bottom.**_**  
**_

* * *

EPOV

"Edward, stop staring at your phone," Alice grumbles from the driver's seat.

For some crazy fucking reason, I agreed to let her drive her Porsche to look for apartments.

"Sorry," I whisper, trying to distract myself from worry.

"She's fine. She's with Emmett," Alice reassures.

"I know, I just wish she had been there this morning." I sit and pout like a three year old who just got a new toy taken away.

"Stop pouting, Edward. We'll be back later and you can see her then," she starts. "I'm glad you two finally got together."

"Me too," I whisper.

The rest of the drive, Alice talks about the different areas near campus, giving me full details on cost, layouts and proximity to Bella's apartment.

Five hours later, we are on our way back to Forks and Grand Estates. It has been a long fucking day, looking at six different apartments, stopping for lunch and Alice giving me a quick tour of parts of Seattle.

I'm more than happy to be heading home and more than anxious to see Bella. Taking Alice's advice, I leave Bella alone, trying to focus on finding an apartment. With school starting soon, I needed to finalize my living arrangements.

We arrive back at our house in Grand Estates. No Bella Jeep in the driveway. _Hmm, maybe she is waiting on me to come over to her house._

I look at my phone for the 100th time to see if I had missed her call or a text from her. But with nothing, I jump in the shower and clean up, throwing on a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt before stepping back outside to head over to Bella's.

What I don't expect on my way out the door is to find Emmett sitting on our porch, looking like someone shot his dog.

"Hey, Emmett," I greet him, starting to feel more than anxious.

"Edward," he coldly replies. He stands and walks solemnly over to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Bella told me about last night," he pauses, shaking his head. "I hate to tell you this, but she's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" Alice's high-pitched voice asks from the front door.

"I just came back from dropping her off at the airport. She asked me to give this to you." He hands me a sealed envelope.

My shaky hands take the paper. I rub the smooth texture and grimace as to what might lay inside for me to read.

"Edward, don't open that letter," Alice quietly begs.

"I'm a big boy, Alice. I can handle this." _If I lie, it might be true._

Emmett and Alice watch as I take a seat on the steps leading off the porch. I pause and sigh, knowing that this can't be good.

Bella's handwriting is on the outside, written hastily. I run my finger over the impressed ink. I rip open the envelope and pull out a folded sheet of matching paper to read.

_Edward,_

_I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, but this will make us both a lot better off. This note will be the last memory you'll ever have of me. You're no good for me, and that's just the way it is. Don't let it get you all upset inside; we're just not a good match. Last night gave me great perspective on our situation and I wanted to act on it immediately._

_I'll be much better off finding a person who will be better suited for me, someone who is worthy of my affection and love._

_I'm sorry to have misled you._

_Bella_

My heart is pounding in my chest as my eyes flick back over the letter again.

_It's fucking bullshit! I won't accept this!_

"Where is she," I growl at Emmett.

"She's gone," he mutters.

"WHERE?" I yell.

"I can't tell you. I barely know myself," he replies.

I grab my phone and dial her number which immediately sends me into voice mail.

"Bella, call me." I snap the phone closed and lay my head in my hands.

Alice comes up behind me, placing her arm around my shaking shoulders.

"Edward, give her some time," she coos.

"Did you know about this?" I growl at her.

"I swear, I didn't know. The last time I talked to her was when we came home last night," Alice defends herself.

I sigh, trying to hold in my aggravation, especially from unleashing my anger upon Alice.

"I better go, Rosalie is expecting me," Emmett mutters walking off the porch.

"Tell me," I beg.

"I can't," he stops as he reaches the bottom step, responding solemnly.

Emmett leaves me and Alice sitting on the steps in a daze.

My rage continues to build, but I beat it down, not wanting to open myself up and tear up everything around me.

I stand up and quietly and quickly make my way up to my room where I grab a pillow, throwing it across the room, all the while, smelling Bella's scent which has filled the room. _She was just here last night, letting me love her._

"NO!" I shout.

I grab another pillow and rip it apart in my hands, letting feathers fly throughout the room in a rain of white.

_How can she do this to me? To us?_ I haven't allowed myself to care, to love in so long. And I know that she doubts herself, hurting herself over her past transgressions. But she has changed; she loves me. I know it.

_How can I survive without her? How could she not want me, want us?_

Minutes or hours pass before I find myself on the floor, covered in a mess, dried tears on my face.

I take my phone from my pocket and dial her number again.

"Bella, please don't do this. I love you," I plead.

At some point I must have passed out, the numbness settling over my body, and my mind going dark.

"Edward," a voice from a distance calls.

I ignore the call and stay silent in my own darkness.

"Edward," the voice draws near. It's Alice, she kneels next to me, rubbing soothing circles on my back, bringing warmth to my breaking heart and body.

I can't listen as she talks to me, her words trying to convey her regrets and fears. We end up crying together, our tears joining for the loss of Bella, not only as Alice's best friend but also as the woman that I love.

_Who knows if she is gone forever?_

"I have to get her back," I state standing up off the floor.

"Edward," Alice warns.

"No, I can bring her back. Show her that everything will be all right. I can't let her go!" I yell.

Alice pulls on me, dragging me back to the floor, cradling me in her arms as I cry again.

Hours pass, and I awake to find myself in my bed, her smell surrounding me, enveloping me, making me want her back in my arms.

The next few days pass and I never leave my room. Alice brings food, begging me to eat. But all that is happening is the breaking of my heart.

Thinking back on my time with Bella, I finally figure out that she is in New York. _She must have gotten the fellowship._

I want to fly to her, camp out on her doorstep and beg her to talk to me. Needing to know why she left, and persuading her to come back with me are my goals.

_If she would only talk to me._

Trying to bring myself back to the world of the living, just as a distraction to the pain in my heart, I eat, sleep, run and pack for school.

Running helps the most, the clean air, the only noise other than my feet hitting the earth. I take a different path than I have during this summer, staying far away from the pool, not wanting to see the places of our memories. _Avoidance._

The days pass and the start of school approaches. I dial only one number on my phone, each time leaving only words of love to Bella. She has to know I love her, no matter what.

Even though my heart is breaking from her own avoidance, it only longs for her, knowing that she is the only one that can heal it.

I tell her know where she is, that I want to come to her, to talk to her, hold her, show her that I love her and _will _always love her. Eventually her message changes to just a single beep and her voice is lost from me.

Alice tries to call her, getting the same result as me. Finally I hear whispers in the house, Emmett has spoken to her. She is safe in her destination, yes, New York, sending her regrets once more.

_I wonder if she knows that Emmett and Rosalie got engaged?_

It was the same night as Aro's party. While we were trying to have an enjoyable evening, Emmett was wining and dining Rosalie, only to offer his life to her. She responded like we all thought she would, with a resounding yes and much affection.

I pack up what I need for school, leaving my memories to rest in this house. Hopefully one day I can return. I sigh as I pull out of the driveway, trying to believe that they are not false hopes.

School starts, and I settle into my apartment and schedule. I focus on school, not making an effort to have a social life. Studying, running, trying to eat and sleep fill my days. But my thoughts are always on Bella_. How is her fellowship going? Is she happy? Is she listening to my messages?_

I'm calling her everyday, sometimes with a long message, some with me crying, and some with happy thoughts and what I did that day. I don't know if she is getting my messages, but the thought that she hasn't disconnected her phone or changed her number is encouraging.

The months pass, I start to check flights to New York, making plans to confront Bella face-to-face. The pain isn't going away and all I want is Bella. The flights are there, so I start to make my plans to go up after Thanksgiving.

As Thanksgiving is approaches, I prepare; booking my flight, a hotel, and memorizing maps of the school and locations of where I think she might be. I'm trying not to think about the holidays, spending time with my family in Grand Estates. Carlisle and Esme will certainly want me to come, to be happy. But it will just be a mask — one I have started working on to hide the pain.

On a rare Monday night the same week of Thanksgiving, I decide to join Alice and Jasper for dinner at her apartment, just for a change of scenery from my own solitary cage; the same cage that I have spent time in, working on plans to find Bella. Short of hiring a private detective, I think I can locate her on my own.

Sitting on the couch, waiting for Jasper to return with some food, I hear the phone ring and Alice answering it in the other room. On the off chance that it might be Bella, even though she hasn't admitted that she has talked to her, I pickup the receiver in the living room and eavesdrop.

"_I heard a phone call today."_ It's Rose.

"Yeah?" Alice asks her.

"_Emmett was talking to Bella."_ I stiffen at the mentioning of news.

"Oh?"

"_She is coming home."_

"Oh my God. When?"

"_It's not what you think."_

"What?"

"_Aro."_

_Aro? What about him? What does he have to do with Bella?_

"No."

"_He found her and offered her support."_

I couldn't understand why she would need support from Aro.

"She can't."

_No!_

"_She told him that she doesn't have a choice."_

_What doesn't she have a choice about?_

"No, there has to be another way. I have to tell him."

_Tell who? Me? What the hell is going on?_

"_You can't."_

_No._

"He has a right to confront her, to try and save her. To try and save himself."

_Yes!_

"_I know that he is hurting. We all are. This situation is not the best for any of us. We all miss her."_

_I hadn't thought about it until now, she not only left me, she left her friends, her brother. I've been so selfish with my pair. I'm not the only one she's hurt._

"But you should see him. He doesn't do anything other than school, sleep and what you might consider eating. It's completely robotic."

"_I can only imagine."_

"I have to tell him."

"_If you must."_

I hang up the receiver and hear her talk for a few more minutes before coming back into the living room. Her face is full of guilt, and I could tell that she has something on her mind that she wants to talk about.

"Edward, we need to talk," she calmly states, coming over to sit on the couch next to me.

"Talk," I respond through my teeth. My body is rigid, my nerves on high alert, desperate to learn anything about what is going on with Bella.

"I really didn't want to do this. We have finally become close again. I don't want to lose my brother again."

"I'm not going anywhere. Whatever it is, we can get through this," I reassure her.

"Bella is coming home," she says soberly, I expect her to be more excited about this, after all, Bella is her best friend.

"When?" I have to make a change in my plans.

"Tomorrow."

"Where is she going, Forks or here?" I have to know, I'm not going to give up without a fight. Alice might have thought that she prevented me from going to New York and tracking her down, but she is not going to keep me from seeing her when she is in the same fucking state.

"Grand Estates," Alice says sighing.

"What's in Grand Estates?" I ask. I know Aro has a house there, but I assumed that it was only his vacation spot, that his main residence is in Seattle.

"How much has she told you about her indiscretions?" Alice asks.

Sighing, I shake my head not wanting to talk about this with Alice. "Just that there were three."

"Did she tell you who?"

"No," I mumble. "I can see why, I would have wanted to track them down and…" I trail off my sentence.

"I know. And I have had the opportunity to confront one of them," she starts, shaking her head. "I thought he would leave her alone and see that she was finally happy," she groans. "She was happy with you."

"Then tell me. What are you holding back?"

I know that she is going to tell me why she and Rose were talking about Aro on the phone. Was he one of the married men? How could he take advantage of her like that?

"She's going to Aro. Yes, he was the first and he has this way with her. He is very charming and can convince a pig to eat bacon if he put his mind to it. He works very hard to get what he wants. I could see that in his eyes when he looked at Bella. Almost like James, but unlike the son, the father has more patience, and more resources," Alice explains.

"Why would she go to Aro? Why not Emmett?"

"She won't tell Emmett. If I hadn't seen her leaving his house that morning, I wouldn't have known myself. I took my time, watched her, and waited to confront her. She said that she would end things. But Aro has always been different than the others.

"Aro has offered her a safe place to stay and will help her continue her studies. She has given Emmett some bullshit about Aro acting as a family friend. Rose and I know different. Emmett has never been privy to Bella's indiscretions."

"I figured that much out. But I still don't understand why she would return to Aro. What has gone on in New York that would cause her to flee to him?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," she mumbles, almost talking to herself. "She finally had something, someone else that meant more to her, gave her happiness," she states motioning to me.

"But none the less, you need to stop her. I don't know if she will come back to you, I can't see the future. But I do know that she loves you. I've never seen her as happy as when she was with you."

"I still love her," I whisper.

"I know that you do. So you must stop her, from hurting herself. Please put your own thoughts and desires to be with her, to love her as yours only, aside. You must stop her from going to Aro," she warns.

"I will."

We sit in silence, my mind in turmoil as I struggle to figure out what I can say to bring her back.

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**A/N: I'm so sorry that it has taken me forever to update. I could give a ton of excuses, or I could tell you that I have already finished the next chapter and it is on it's way to my lovely beta's. If you hate Bella at this point, I'm sorry. It will get better.**

**Thank you to everyone for reading, reviewing and adding this to your favorites and alerts. I have many projects going on right now, but one in particular I would like to mention. Check out Dirty Cheeky Monkeys, we are having a One Shot contest called A Face In the Crowd. To get more information, check out **  
**www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2258597/dirtycheekymonkeys I encourage everyone to write, so I expect to see some entries.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**As always - Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for their awesome beta skills and making sense out of my words.**_

**More at the bottom.**_**

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**_BPOV

Standing in the gallery, walking around, viewing my classmates' works along the walls next to mine, I can't help but be amazed at how fast this fellowship has gone by.

Everyone is dressed in their Sunday best for this gallery showing. The dress I am wearing is a loose fitting dark navy blue, floor length. I smile weakly at everyone, keeping silent and to myself like I have done the entire time that I have been here. I wander around and stop in front of one of my favorites.

It is my largest painting that I have ever done. I could never have done this back at home, the canvas being so large that I could not have gotten it in or out of the house in the first place.

The colors are lovely, emotional, and powerful all at once. Staring at the painting, I allow myself to be sucked in and get lost in thought.

"Your work has immensely improved, Bella."

My train of thought is disrupted by a voice that I did not want to ever hear again. My fellowship is over next week, but I haven't thought of what I might do or where I might go, too many decisions to make.

"Hello, Aro," I quietly state, keeping my gaze on my painting.

He steps closer and stands behind me, placing his hands on my arms, gently rubbing them. "I'm happy to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same," I whisper. "What are you doing here, Aro?"

"A little birdie told me where you were," he starts. "And about your quandary."

"I wouldn't exactly call it that," I scoff.

"What are you going to do?"

I rub my stomach gently before replying, "I don't know."

"Would you consider coming to stay with me?"

I stay silent, unsure of how to respond. My emotions and thoughts have been all over the place during the last four months.

"I would like to offer my home to you," he begins. "I realize that you are unsure of everything, but I can offer you stability right now and a haven if you will."

"What about James?"

"I have disowned him. He's in Florida with that dreadful woman doing God only knows what," he coldly replies.

I sigh feeling at least somewhat better knowing that James has received some type of retribution for his actions.

"I did a bit of digging and found out a little bit more about my son's activities in Florida. I'm not pleased, to say the least."

"I'm sorry that things turned out this way."

That night brought about the best and the worst of this situation. The worst being that Aro lost his son. The best being that I found love and it was shown to me in the best way.

Then I had to fuck it all up by running away, an action that I can't take back.

"I don't know, Aro." I continue to stare at my painting, wondering silently what _he_ would have thought of it.

"Don't think about it, just come. Let me take care of you," Aro coos.

"Let me think. I need to think," I offer rubbing my belly bump.

"There are no strings attached to this offer. I don't wish to renew our past relationship. I only want to help you. The plane will be at the airport waiting for you. Just call," he explains.

With that, Aro leaves me standing there. The rest of the evening passes in a blur.

For the next several days, I spend my time in the studio, painting, thinking and trying to come to a rational decision.

My rational side says to take his offer.

I feel like I have nowhere to go, that exposing my situation to Alice, Rose or Emmett would lead back to Edward. I can't hurt Edward any more, he is better off without me.

If hiding at Aro's, because that is what it would be, could offer me a safe haven, a quiet space to think without pressure, then that might be the best for my situation.

But my heart tells me to run back to Edward. Not just run, but collide and never leave.

These past four months, one thing that I know for sure is that I am lost without him. Even after only having known him for such a short time, our connection was strong and undeniable.

I'm finally packing what little I brought with me, along with a new suitcase full of things that I have bought while living here. Tears start to form in my eyes as I fold the same t-shirt that Alice gave me to wear the first night that I spent under the same roof as Edward. Placing it in the suitcase, I grin, thinking about how bad my behavior was with him in the beginning. Before I know it, my emotions turn, and I am curled up on the bed crying.

Just that one thought helps me make up my mind. I need to get myself together if I ever want to see Edward again, talk to him, explain myself and possibly rectify my total fuckup. Aro would just treat me as a houseguest. He just wants to help. That's what he has always wanted to do.

I pull myself together and call Emmett. He doesn't like that I am going to Aro's, but he has no reason not to trust him.

After hanging up with Emmett, I go through another round of crying, lying in bed and trying to pull myself together over what I must do next.

Picking up the phone, I dial.

"Hello, Bella."

EPOV

Alice and I talked a bit more before Jasper interrupted us. She wouldn't disclose any other information about Bella's past to me, but kept encouraging me to do what I must to stop Bella. Tell Bella any words to remind her that there are other choices and that she is making a mistake.

Sleep eludes me at night, my mind going through everything I could tell Bella, everything I want to tell Bella, and everything I have to hold back on.

This is about saving her, reminding her that she has friends and family that are here for her. _That I am her friend._

Lying to myself about not wanting her, for more than a friend, will kill me later, but I will deal with that in order to save Bella from Aro. She doesn't belong with him, either as a family friend or as something else.

_Dear Lord, I don't want to think about the something else._

The next morning, sleep deprived and heading to my last class before Thanksgiving break, I get an urgent phone call from Alice.

"She's coming today, arriving sometime this afternoon. Can you go?" Alice asks.

"Yes. I'll leave right now," I explain. I turn around and walk back to my car.

Not bothering to stop at my apartment, I race to the interstate, anxious to return to Grand Estates and wait for Bella.

A few hours later, I'm sitting in the driveway at my parent's house, trying to figure out the best plan to confront her. If I drive over there and she sees my car, she will run. I have to make this a sneak attack.

A plan formulates and I call security to see if they can help me out.

No more than twenty minutes later, a security guard's car comes by to pick me up. It's Phil, one of the guards that we saw frequently during the summer. After all those nights I stayed late waiting for Bella to close the pool, getting to know the other staff members and the security guards was about to pay off. We drive around, patrolling as usual but we stick close to Aro's house. We are silent as we listen to the radio, waiting for information on who is coming through the gates.

A short while later, word comes over the walkie-talkie that a black town car heading to Aro's has just passed through.

"That has to be Bella," I tell Phil.

Phil races over to Aro's and lets me out to walk around the perimeter of the house. As I make my way through the woods, I hear a car pulling in and coming up the driveway. Even though the woods are thick, I can still make out the black town car.

"Bella," I whisper to myself.

I start to run, sprinting towards the house. This is my only chance to stop her, before she crosses over that threshold.

As I approach the house, I stop at the edge of the woods, watching as the driver steps out and open the door for Bella. She has her back to me, but I can tell from her body posture that she looks, defeated. Her shoulders are slumped and her head is hung low.

_I'm here as her friend,_ I remind myself again.

She is wearing a simple grey sweater dress and black leggings with flats. Her curves are soft and her hair is shiny, flowing smoothly down her back.

I sigh hoping that this will work.

She steps away from the town car and approaches the first step of the house. The driver removes her bags from the trunk, takes them up the steps and places them at the front door.

She pauses and I hear her say thank you to the driver as he asks if there is anything else that she needs.

She quietly declines and turns her head slightly to watch him leave.

She still hasn't taken that first step.

I can see her hesitation and take that as my chance to stop her.

"Bella, wait!" I yell emerging from my hiding spot in the woods.

She doesn't turn to look at me, but sighs and slumps even more.

"Go away, Edward," she coldly states.

"No! I'm not going to let you do this. You don't' belong with him," I retort.

Her gaze finally lifts, turning only her head to me, she growls, "And who exactly do I belong to? You?"

"No. You don't belong to anyone. But this isn't right. You have Emmett, Rose and Alice. They love you. Whatever is going on here, Aro is not the answer," I respond, whispering the last part.

Seething mad she turns her full body to me, before starting to take a step towards me, her face red in anger.

"That's right, I don't belong to anyone. I don't deserve to 'belong' to anyone. And that is why I am here. Aro is a family friend, that's all," she sneers.

Before I can respond, my eyes glance over her body stopping on the little bump that is noticeable in her tight ensemble. She sees me staring and immediately puts her hands over it, protectively.

"Do you mind explaining _that_ to me?" I demand.

"What the fuck do you think this is, Edward?" she sarcastically asks, pointing to her stomach. "Did I have too much for dinner, or did you knock me up?"

"Bella," I whisper before taking a step closer to her.

She holds out her hand to stop me. "Don't."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I question.

"To protect you," she sighs. "You don't want to be with me. You deserve so much more, someone better. My past, it follows me and no matter what I do, where I go, it will always be there. You should never have to make the decision to live with that."

"I don't care about your past," I begin. "No matter what it may be. You could be a murderer and I would still love you."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes," I state, taking a step forward, pushing myself in front of her trembling body. "I love you, will love you, and," placing a hand on the bump, "our baby forever."

She breaks into tears and collapses into my chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I grab her, wrap my arms around her and press her to me, breathing in her sweet smell that I missed so much.

Time stands still as I continue to hold her, comforting her like I have longed to do since the night that she left me. I never want to let her go again.

"Edward, how did you know?" Bella whimpers against my chest. Her body is calming down, but her hands remain fisted in my shirt.

"Alice," I start. "She got a call from Rose. Apparently, she listens in on your phone calls to Emmett."

"Only Alice," she whispers.

I pull back and place my hand under her chin, forcing her to look up at me. Her eyes are red and puffy, tears staining her cheeks. She blinks and I can see that spark in her eyes that is only meant for me. She blushes and bites her bottom lip.

With my thumb stroking her jaw, I lick my lips, craving to kiss her soft lips. I decide to give in; I love her too much to let any more time pass without giving her all of me, mind, body and soul.

I gently lean in, waiting for her to pull back or flinch from my forward movement. She does neither as my lips ghost hers, causing my grin, as I start to relish in her warmth.

Increasing pressure on our kiss, I pull her closer to me. She loosens her grip on my shirt, sliding both arms around my neck, threading her fingers into my hair.

Our kiss starts out slow and gentle, testing the invisible boundaries. But I slip my tongue out to taste her lips, sweet from her natural flavor and salty from her tears. She opens her mouth and invites me in. After a few minutes of our tender embrace, we pull back, gazing at each other.

"Why did you run away?" I ask.

I'm not sure that I want the answer. I'm completely content holding her in my arms for the rest of my life. But we have to talk.

"Edward," she starts.

Just as she opens her mouth to continue to speak, the front door of the house opens. We both turn to see Aro standing there. He appears to be calm and emotionless, not at all surprised by my sudden appearance.

"Edward, Bella," Aro politely greets us.

"Aro," I coolly reply.

"Why don't you come in and we can all talk," Aro offers.

"I think I would rather take Bella home, if you don't mind," I counter.

"After traveling all this way, please come in, rest," he boldly states.

His calm slips, a bit of what appears to be anger showing.

"Just for a moment," he rebounds, wearing a smile.

He steps back and opens the door wide, giving us a silent request to come into the house.

Without releasing Bella completely, I help guide her up the steps.

As we enter the house and follow Aro towards the living room, I feel Bella beginning to tremble beside me. So I lean and whisper to her, "Are you scared?"

"Yes," she quietly replies.

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**A/N: So, I hope that answers some of your questions and your theories. I'm working on the next chapter and I'm nearing the end of this story. Thank you for reading, reviewing and putting this on alert. Did everyone see Eclipse yet? I was first in line with my group for The Twilight Experience. Loved it and I can't wait to see it again and again and again.**

**Question for those that read and review: What are you expecting Aro to talk to them about?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**A SUPER HUGE Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for their awesome beta skills and making sense out of my words.  
This chapter went through a number of edits before the final, and these two awesome ladies questioned and pushed me to get the most out of me.**_

**More at the bottom.

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**

EPOV

Sitting on one of the plush couches in Aro's living room felt almost surreal. The last time we were here, it was the end of summer party, and the atmosphere was completely different. Now sitting here I feel like I am in the principal's office at school, waiting for a punishment to be doled out.

But Aro isn't a principal, and we are not his students.

"I'm glad to see you made it back safe, Bella," Aro coos, sitting in a lush red velvet chair opposite our position.

"Thank you for your generosity in helping me get home," Bella responds.

"I assume that you have made a decision about my proposal."

Feeling the need to protect Bella, I immediately respond to his statement by placing my arm around her shoulder and moving closer to her.

"I appreciate the offer, but my answer is no," she answers coldly.

Bella is tense, her body almost stiff in my arm. Even rubbing my hand on her arm doesn't seem to affect her posture.

"Are you sure that you are making the right decision?" Aro asks, trying to make Bella second guess herself I assume.

"Aro, if I wanted to change my mind, I would. Don't belittle my judgment."

"I'm not telling you that you are doing anything wrong. I just think that you need to think things through a bit more. After all, you two have just been reunited," Aro calmly states.

Bella sighs as she takes my free hand in both of hers. She looks lost in thought as her fingers rub my hand.

"Yes, Edward and I still have some talking to do, but I think we both feel that we belong together," Bella explains still looking down. "I know that I don't want to be apart from him anymore."

She raises her gaze to meet my eyes, her eyes holding back tears. I squeeze her shoulder letting her know silently that I'm here to support her.

"And when you say together, does that mean that you will get married?" Aro asks before continuing. "I only think it is fair that you two should marry and bring this child into a permanent union."

"Don't tell me that I need to marry Edward," Bella growls. She is ready to stand up, but I apply a bit of strength to her shoulder, holding her still.

"I think marriage is the only option for you two. Especially in the best interests of the child," Aro firmly states.

"I believe that we can make that decision for ourselves, Aro," Bella states.

"I don't believe you understand how important marriage is," Aro barks back.

"How important marriage is? You are the last person to be lecturing about the importance of marriage, Aro," Bella sneers back. She stands this time, and I let her.

"Bella," I say, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Don't, Edward," she warns.

Aro stands. "You know that mine ended years ago," he coldly states.

Bella collects herself before speaking. "I know, but that still doesn't give you the right to tell us what to do. I don't understand why you choose to live your life the way you do. What is it about me or whoever else that you get involved with that makes you stray from your 'marriage', Aro?"

"I can admit that I want you in my life, Bella," Aro replies. "I'm not perfect, no one is. But you fit into my life, and I…" His words trail off.

I hiss at his thought as Bella tightens her grip on me.

"I don't think I need to be a part of any of your thoughts, Aro. Or your future, not anymore," she sneers.

"The future, Bella? Do you think that he is your future, that you're in love with this man? Do you think you're the marrying type? I know you, Bella. Better than you know yourself," he says before pausing and casting a withering gaze in Edward's direction. "And definitely better than him."

"So, now you go from encouraging me to be with Edward to accusing me of not being the marrying type? Careful, Aro, your self-righteous mask is starting to chip away," she snaps back at him.

"Yes, we are all very good at wearing masks, Bella."

"You wrote the book on it," she sneers. "What? You didn't think I knew about your tricks, like how you hired a private investigator to follow me around when you wanted to see me?"

"If my desire for wanting you was too much, why did you keep coming back?"

"Because I was weak and stupid. I know now I don't have to be like my mother, and this part of my life is over. You never let go," she explains.

"My apologies," he breathes. "Please go and talk. Figure out your future," Aro offers, walking away from his position in front of Bella.

We leave without a goodbye to Aro, not that I would know what to say to him. I numbly pull Bella down the steps, and we start walking down the driveway. Lucky for us, Phil is waiting.

"Hi, Phil. Can you take us to my house?" Bella quietly asks.

He nods and we climb in the back.

After talking with Aro, my mind starts to seriously consider his suggestion. I know I love Bella, and even though I can't predict the future, I know without a doubt that I want her to be a part of mine.

We ride in silence, but I keep Bella's hand in mine, our fingers laced together, allowing me to rub her hand with my thumb.

When we reach her house and enter, we are still silent. I know that we need to talk.

_Fuck, there's so much to talk about._

Up until this point, I was mostly concerned with stopping Bella from accepting a life with Aro. But now that she has made that decision, I start to consider how hurt I am by her actions before this.

She left me.

She hid her pregnancy from me.

She denied our love.

_Yes, there is much to talk about._

Bella releases my hand and sits down on the couch. As I sit beside her, she stands immediately back up and starts pacing the room.

"Edward," she begins.

She continues to pace while opening and closing her mouth, trying to form her words. I patiently wait, giving her the time she needs to talk to me.

"Fuck, I just don't where to begin!" she finally screams out in frustration.

"Just start from the beginning," I suggest.

"The beginning, right," she says to herself.

She continues to pace while she speaks.

"You know our mother died and you know that Charlie checked out on us. He was never around, only working to pay the bills. Charlie spent more time in his boat than with Emmett and me.

"If it hadn't been for the insurance policy on my mother, we would not have this house. Charlie would have let it go into bankruptcy.

"Not like I was any better. I feel so bad that I was never there for Emmett. I've been a horrible sister."

She continues to pace and takes several deep breaths.

"I spent time with Jacob and RC, and they let me just exist without pressuring me to talk about my feelings and get over the grieving process. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have even survived.

"It was during this time that I met James, and he was gentle and kind back then. A far cry from the nut job that he is now; I cared for him, but I knew that I wasn't in love with him and that I could never grow to love him. There was just something easy about being with James. I guess it was the knowledge that I didn't have a serious emotional investment with him.

"Then, after I graduated high school, I couldn't take the guilt that I was beginning to feel about misleading James. So I broke things off with him. It wasn't long after that, that Charlie took off and Emmett and I were left by ourselves."

She stops pacing, places her head in her hands, and starts crying. Before the first shake of her body, I'm up off the couch pulling her into my arms.

"Shhh."

"Edward," she cries against my chest.

I slowly rock her in my arms, threading my fingers through her hair. After a few minutes she calms down, and I move us to sit down on the couch.

"During spring break of my freshman year of college," she starts again quietly. "I came home from visiting Jacob and RC and found an unmarked envelope on the front porch.

"When I opened it, I found pictures of our mom, entering a hotel room with a man, then another one with another man, kissing and hands groping. There were at least a half a dozen. Each picture was time and date stamped. There were notes on the back of each one, mom's name, and then the name of the man and a small line about a client's name, location, date, time, wife and other information.

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My mom was a fucking cheater."

Her body tenses again as her face is covered with a look that brings silent tears to my eyes.

"I couldn't confront Charlie. So I did the only thing I knew how to do; I crumbled on the inside, just thinking about how the life that I knew was false, and how I really didn't know who our mother was."

She looks up at me as I bring my hand to caress her face and wipe away the tears.

"I returned to school, thinking about this new information and all the how's and why's. That was when my work started getting very dark. I poured every emotion into my painting. Before I knew it, the semester was over, and I was back home.

"I started working at Grand Estates, and Aro started giving me attention. I didn't know at the time that I was being seduced. I was still numb and any attention he gave me, I ate it up. He knew exactly what to do. With the attention came talking to him about my mother; he let me vent.

"Then he sealed the deal in one night. He invited me to his house to see some new pieces that he had recently purchased. The whole night was a setup, the food, and the wine, talking about art.

"Looking back now, I can admit that I was incredibly weak. My mother's choices seemed easy. Once I took that step, I didn't think twice, that is, until recently.

"I didn't have any ties to a relationship like my mother-marriage. Being involved with a married man, I could get the attention that I wanted without dealing with the normal relationship issues.

"I can imagine that a good shrink would probably tell me that I have daddy issues that I've never worked out."

"We all have ghosts in our past. It's what makes us stronger and helps us survive," I whisper to her.

"But my past, how can you live with that? How can you want me? Want our baby?"

"I'm sorry," I start, and immediately I regret the words coming out of my mouth when I look at Bella's face. She looks disappointed, thinking that I mean that I don't want her or our baby.

"I don't understand why you left. I don't understand why you didn't tell me about our baby. Please, make me understand," I plead.

Her tears start to fall again and my heart breaks.

"I knew early on that I was falling for you. We had this connection, an attraction that was unlike anything I'd had before. I felt safe with you, and it scared me. Subconsciously, I was looking for an excuse, something to give me a reason to pry myself from you.

"When James threatened me at the party, to expose the affair with his father to you, I couldn't handle it. I just wanted to protect you, from me, from my past, and to give you a chance to have a normal relationship, and a future."

"I love you. I think I always have, I've told you before your past doesn't matter."

"I know, and when I found out I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was to call you. To tell you to come to me and to hold me. But my fears, they were too great. I didn't know how you would react. I didn't know if what we felt for each other was enough to get us through my lies and a baby," she states quietly.

"As long as you love me, we can get through anything and most importantly, raise our baby together," I tell her sweetly.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

She closes her eyes as she sighs and I hold her close, placing small kisses on her head.

"Why were you afraid of talking to Aro?"

"Aro is very charming, and powerful. I wasn't sure what he would say or even do. I know, now more than ever, that he has never wanted to let me go and has gone to great lengths to keep me in his life. He had a P.I. follow me in the past," she explains.

"He found you at a vulnerable point in your life and took advantage of that. I wouldn't call him anything but greedy," I tell her.

"I know that you want to keep talking, and we do have tons to talk about. But I'm exhausted. I need some sleep," she almost whispers.

"Anything you need?" I ask, hoping she won't tell me to come back later.

"Yes, hold me," she answers.

I pull her up off the couch and take her up the stairs to her bedroom. We lie down, and I hold her in my arms.

As she sleeps, I think about her admissions.

I can't believe what a sick fuck Aro really is. I always knew that he was power hungry and cold, but what he has done to Bella, preying on her when she was in a weak emotional state, it's just so wrong.

Holding Bella in my arms as she sleeps, I finally relax and let the enormity of the day wash over me and push me into sleep.

BPOV

I've never slept well before. I've always gotten by with a few hours of restless sleep.

So I guess my body just gave up after all these years and allowed me the best sleep of my life. In Edward's arms, I rested. I snuggled into his body and relaxed. You could say that it is the pregnancy that is making me tired and helping me sleep right now, but I would argue that my body is telling my brain that I'm finally where I need to be.

With Edward.

We still have so much to talk about, but somehow I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel from the fog that I have been living in over the past four months.

Without telling me, I feel Edward is giving me hope that we can patch our lives back together and make a family out of the mess that I have made.

I'm scared that Edward may decide to leave, and scared that the only reason he's still here is to talk me off the ledge. The only way to find out is to talk to him, to find out what he wants.

I open my eyes to see Edward's rising torso. From the rhythm of the rise and fall, I'm assuming that he is asleep. My hands immediately go to my belly, where I'm happy, but surprised, to find Edward's hand.

"What are you smiling about?" his raspy voice whispers.

"Um, your hand is on my belly," I say, suppressing my laughter.

"You mean my hand is on our baby," he retorts.

I sigh, refreshed from sleeping and ready to talk some more. Rising up, he releases me as I turn and sit cross-legged facing him.

"I know you want to talk about this," I tell him quietly.

"We don't have to talk right now; you need some more rest," Edward states, stretching. "Are you hungry?"

My stomach growls, effectively answering his question.

"I'll take that as a yes. Come on, let's get something to eat."

I sigh, wanting to talk, but deciding to get out of bed anyway. We head downstairs not thinking about transportation. While I was away, I'd asked Emmett to keep my Jeep and drive it a few times a week to keep it running. So standing on my front porch, we are both trying to figure out what to do.

"Um, there might be something in the cabinets," I say stuttering, pointing back into the house.

"I can call for something to be delivered," Edward offers, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket.

"I think that's the best option."

Twenty-five minutes later, we have pizza and I'm working on my second slice while Edward is just starting his first.

"Um, so you have an appetite already?" Edward hesitantly asks.

With my mouth full of pizza I shrug and chew before answering him.

"I really haven't been eating much, but I feel better right now than I have in months, so my stomach is begging for food."

"When did you find out? Why didn't you tell me?" Edward rushes out.

He shakes his head and I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

I shiver when I realize the gravity of my mistakes. Not only did I deny Edward a face-to-face talk when I left, but I took away his parental rights.

"After I got to New York, I dived right into my fellowship and worked hard at getting pieces completed. I was doing everything I could to ignore what I had done to you, and to myself. Painting had worked in the past, so that was what I did.

"One night I was working with a group in the studio, and I passed out. They took me to the school infirmary, and when I woke up the doctors asked me a million questions. They asked me about unprotected sex, and the chance of STDs. It wasn't until they asked me if I thought I could be pregnant that I considered the option.

"As you know, I've always been careful. At the time, I didn't know what to think, so I let them run the test. When it came back positive, I was shocked. They gave me some information to read and some prenatal vitamins and shooed me back to my room."

"I'm glad you decided to keep it," Edward whispers.

"It was never a choice," I say back quietly. "Once I got over the initial shock, I had time to think about my situation and my life. I knew that I fucked up with us, but thought that if I could get my life together, find the right words to say to you, and hope that you hadn't moved on, that we could work things out. The baby was just the catalyst to get me to acknowledge that I wanted only you."

We both have stopped eating and are staring at each other from across my kitchen table.

"I'm sorry," I start, breaking the silence in the room. "For everything. For not telling you the whole truth about my past, for running away, for not telling you about the baby, for lying."

"Were you planning on telling me at some point? I would like to think that I have the right to know that I have a child in the world," he states with anger in his voice.

"I was planning on telling you. I just didn't know how."

"I understand why you did these things. I just wish you'd had enough faith in me to have stayed," Edward calmly explains.

"It's not that I never had faith in you. I've always felt that I was never good enough for you, that my past would always follow me. I never gave up hope that we could reunite, and was looking at Aro's offer as a way back to you."

Edward stands abruptly and pushes his chair back from the table. I'm expecting him to leave, finally realizing that I'm not good enough for him and bringing my fears to fruition.

But instead, he comes over, pulls my chair out from the table, kneels in front of me and maneuvers his body between my legs.

Placing his hands on my face, he looks me in the eye.

"You didn't need Aro's help. You don't see how wonderful you are. It's never been about you being good enough for me. You are everything I need and want. And now," he pauses placing his hand on my belly. "You've given me more that I ever thought possible."

_Am I enough?_

Edward gives so much, and I'm selfish, running away and denying him. But I'm different now. I'm working through my past. Telling Edward, talking about my mother, my father, gives me hope that I can move forward. _I am enough, for Edward and our baby._

"So I take it that you have forgiven me?" I whisper.

He pulls closer and kisses me gently on the lips.

"Only if you are back, with me, to stay, forever," he answers before kissing me once again.

* * *

**A/N: So this chapter was very hard to write, but I got through it. These two have some more things to get through, but the mending has begun. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. The issues with Aro are not complete, but it will be before it is said and done.  
**

**A big wet sloppy kiss to Snowhitequeen83 for pre-reading and pushing me to get this chapter done.**

**I have a few projects that I am working on, Dirty Cheeky Monkeys, collabing with luvrofink and Snowhitequeen83, two new stories and a couple of One Shots that I am writing. Put me on author alert so you know when something new comes out. I'm unfiltered on twitter, with a twin and a mistress that knows how to make my ass rosy pink.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for their awesome beta skills and making sense out of my words.

* * *

**_

EPOV

I've gone completely crazy in the span of one day.

How is this possible?

One word: _Bella_.

Finding her, stopping her before she took Aro's offer, was a success but also nothing short of a miracle. Then, seeing that bump on her belly, knowing that what she carries inside is something we created together, well, that made everything simple and complicated at the same time.

Talk about dichotomy.

And even after talking and clearing the air about some things, we still have much to work through. I know it is going to take time, but if Bella is there and we are working together, then that is all that I need to get me through anything.

Holding Bella in my arms after kissing her, she is shaking and I just hold her tight, pouring my emotions out with my embrace. _I'm here, I'm not going anywhere._

As if she can read my mind, she relaxes and her breathing evens out.

"Do you want to rest some more?"

"Yeah, but I need to make a couple of phone calls first."

She gently pushes me back and goes to the phone on the kitchen wall and dials a number.

"Hi," she quietly speaks into the phone.

I can hear a deep voice on the other end of the line, and I can only assume that she called Emmett. He knew that she was coming back, and I'm sure that he is anxious to know that she arrived safely.

Giving her some privacy, I take a moment and step outside on the front porch, taking in the dark night sky, while pulling my own phone out and calling Alice.

"_You got to her,_" she says, answering the phone after the first ring.

"Yes," I sigh, realizing how relieved I am that I did get to her in time.

"_Why didn't you call sooner? I've been going crazy waiting to hear."_

"We've been talking," I explain.

"_I'm sorry I snapped. I just worry. Where are you now?"_

"At her house. Why? Where are you?"

Before she answers, I see lights coming down the street and hear the rev of her engine. She stops in front of the house and pops out of the car like a jack-in-the-box.

"Where is she?" she steams.

_Oh shit._

"She's on the phone with Emmett right now."

Alice stomps past me and into the house. About five seconds later I hear a scream.

Alice comes back out and joins me on the front porch.

She's quiet.

"I'm guessing you didn't know," I mumble.

"Ya think?" she snips.

We both take a seat on the top step and wait for Bella to finish her phone call.

"What happened with Aro?"

"It's a long story," I explain. "You know that Bella and I have some more talking to do? You can't just rush her off with you or something."

"I'm not going to. The only thing I want to do right now is rip her a new one for pulling this shit on us."

Alice sits there and steams to herself. She huffs and puffs, mumbling angry words under her breath

The front door opens from behind us, and we both stand and turn around. Bella is sniffling and holding a tissue to her red eyes.

I immediately step to her, pulling her into my arms. She buries her head into my chest and quietly cries. I hold her, my arms engulfing her and placing kisses on her head.

Alice is staring at us, trying to figure out what to do, what to do as her anger seems to disappear.

I move Bella with me to step back into the house and into the living room to sit down. Alice follows us quietly, shutting the front door behind her.

"Shh," I whisper.

After a few minutes, Bella starts to relax. Alice leaves the room only to come back a few minutes later with a glass of water.

"Bella, talk to us," Alice requests, holding the glass of water out for Bella.

She sniffs and wipes her eyes again before turning to Alice, offering her a sad smile. She takes the water, takes a generous sip before speaking.

"Emmett's glad I'm home, but he's mad about what I did. I told him about the baby and he flipped out," she explains.

"He'll calm down, just give him some time," I tell her.

"Speaking of which, do you mind telling me what the hell you were thinking running off to New York? Leaving everyone here high and dry, no explanations? If you had seen how what you did affected Edward…" Alice's voice trails off, fighting back her own tears.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I know I've been selfish, but running away was the only thing I could think of doing. I'm really sorry," Bella cries.

Alice sniffs and her eyes go to Bella's stomach.

"Are you back? For good this time?"

"Yeah."

"Good, then we can talk later," she tells Bella, smiling. "And you," she hisses, turning her attention to me. "Mom and dad are arriving tomorrow."

"Shit, Thanksgiving," I mumble.

"You can't escape dinner, especially after this epic shit that has gone down."

I groan knowing that this Thanksgiving holiday has just gotten a bit more interesting.

Alice and Bella exchange hugs and promises of talking more tomorrow. I make the suggestion that we get together for breakfast tomorrow morning, giving me a way to get my car back and bring everyone together to talk more.

Alice agrees, telling me that she will send Jasper over to collect us for breakfast at the house. Mom and Dad aren't scheduled to arrive until after lunch, so that gives Bella and me the chance to get out of there before interrogations begin.

I take Bella upstairs and let her take a shower before having one myself. Cleaned up, we snuggle in bed together, while the silence is only broken by sighs from Bella and my kisses on her head and face.

The next morning, Jasper comes to collect us, his eyebrow cocked questioningly as he sees Bella's bump.

"Yes, I know." Bella answers his silent question.

We arrive at the house and find that Alice has made a feast. I excuse myself and run to my room to change clothes before coming down to join everyone for breakfast. The topics are light as we eat, Bella telling us about New York while Alice and I tell her about our semester at school.

BPOV

"Bella, could I speak with you?" Jasper quietly asks, standing from the table.

Edward and Alice are clearing the table after our breakfast feast and have just stepped into the kitchen.

"Um, sure," I answer.

We quietly leave the table and step into the family room. He leads but waits for me to enter the room before closing the doors behind us.

"Please sit," Jasper requests.

Silently, we sit on one of the oversized couches.

"I wanted to talk to you about what has happened," Jasper starts.

"Look, I really am not in the mood for a lecture or a counseling session…"

Jasper interrupts, "Well, you are going to listen to me. After what you have put Alice through, I need for you to hear what I have to say. I only hope that you are listening and might take it to heart."

Jasper is normally very quiet and calm. But the man before me is mad and holding back more rage inside.

I nod, letting him know to continue.

"Good, now, I understand why you did what you did. You got scared, and you didn't know what to do."

"Yes," I quietly affirm.

"But what you did, leaving like that, cutting everyone off, it almost killed Edward. I've never seen him so broken before. And Alice," he says before pausing. "She championed you, hoping for the best to come out of this situation that you created."

"I'm sorry," I say, sniffling.

Jasper reaches over to the side table and hands me a box of tissues.

"I don't mean to make you upset, but I want you to know that your decision affected everyone. I've thought a lot about this, and in my professional opinion, I really think you should seek some sort of counseling."

"What?"

I've never thought of myself as one who has 'problems' and needed to seek professional help, but Jasper would never mention it if he didn't think it would help.

"It would do you a world of good to talk to someone impartial about what is going on in your head. And now that you are expecting, you need to get your priorities straight."

"Edward and the baby are my priorities," I explain.

"They are now, but what about yesterday morning?"

He has a point. I know I fucked up. Majorly. And as much as I don't want to talk about my problems, I need to make sure that I'm in the right emotional place for Edward and most importantly, the baby.

"Who do you recommend?"

Jasper gives me the name and number of a local doctor in Port Angeles—Dr. Nahuel.

Jasper apologizes again for making me upset and wishes me good luck in finding some peace. I know that he's right. Ever since mom died, I've held so much in and never really talked about or even properly grieved over her death. With the baby coming into my life, I want to fix my problems and be the best mom that I can be.

"Jasper?" Alice asks opening the door, interrupting Jasper comforting me.

"I just wanted to speak with Bella alone for a minute," he tells her.

She comes over and sits on the other side of the couch, pulling me into her arms. My tears start again, pouring out this time, wetting her shirt.

I hear Jasper leave and shut the door behind him.

"You scared the fuck out of me," she whispers.

"I'm sorry," I croak.

"Bella, what were you thinking? You know that you could have talked to me. I'm your best friend."

"I know, I was just so scared and confused, and running away seemed like the best solution. When I got accepted into the fellowship, it gave the opportunity. So I took it and ran."

"Did Jasper tell you to seek counseling?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

She sighs before answering, "Jasper loves me, and I know that it hurt him to see me upset, along with Edward, so him telling you to seek help is his way of protecting me."

"I'm going to take his advice."

"Oh, Bella." Alice starts crying and before we know it, we are both a blubbering mess on the couch together.

We continue to cry, but eventually calm down, telling each other how sorry we are. Once we are back to a normal state, she looks down at my bump.

"May I?"

I nod just as she places her hand on my belly. "It's hard."

"Yeah and it grows everyday. It won't be long before I'm going to have to buy maternity clothes."

Alice looks lovingly from my belly and smiles at me. "Shopping?"

And Alice is happy again.

Edward is waiting outside by his car when we finally leave the family room. He's grinning at me, and my heart melts at how happy he looks.

"Hope you don't mind, but I want to stay with you this weekend?" he asks.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I answer.

"Good, 'cause I've already packed a bag."

He takes my hand and pulls me close, wrapping me into his arms and leaning down to kiss me. My hand and arms wind up to his head, tilting mine and deepening the kiss. His tongue invades my mouth, causing me to moan and tug on his hair.

We are lost in each other, my emotions running from one end to the other, but at the moment, all I feel is lust and want. And I want Edward.

Voices clear from behind us and we break our kiss. I blush as I turn back to see a grinning Alice and Jasper.

We say goodbye to them and head back to my house. When we arrive, my luggage and the stuff I brought back from New York are waiting on my front porch.

I silently thank Aro for what kindness he has left in his heart, bringing me back here and making sure that I get my stuff.

For the rest of the day, Edward and I talk. Our subjects start off light, but we end up snuggling with each other which leads to kissing and making out like teenagers. We eventually talk more about me leaving, my fears, and the 'what ifs', as well as what we expect to happen next.

"I'm going to stay here and attend counseling. Get my head straight. There are so many things that I need to work on. I want to be the best mom for our baby."

Edward listens to me, but his smile grows to beaming when I mention our baby.

"Since the baby will come before the end of next semester, I'm just going to take time off and go back to school next fall. I should be able to finish my masters by the next spring," I explain to Edward.

I did have time to think about some things in my life before coming back from New York. Knowing that I needed to take time off from school was obvious, but figuring out how to raise a baby by myself wasn't something that was coming easy.

"Where do you see me in your future?" Edward asks.

"Where do you want to be?" I inquire.

Edward pulls back from our snuggling position to look at me directly in the face. "I want you to move to Seattle and be with me while I attend medical school. I want us to have a home and be a family. I know it's a lot to ask for, but whatever you are willing to give me, I'll be happy."

I start to cry again, and launch myself into Edward's chest, wanting nothing more than to be close to him. He is saying everything I need to hear from him: that he will be there for me, that he wants me and he wants to be a family.

We continue to talk as it starts to get dark outside, moving our conversation from the living room couch to my bed.

Edward and I snuggle together, our limbs tangle as we whisper to each other for some silly reason. The questions become fewer and fewer as we both relax and fall asleep.

The next morning, I'm treated to breakfast in bed by Edward. He had snuck out of the house early in the morning and ran to the grocery store, grabbing a few supplies that we needed to make it through the weekend.

On a tray, he has some muffins, jams and butter, tea and juice, and his finishing touch, a small vase with daisies.

"Thanks," I tell him, leaning over to give him a kiss.

He places the tray in between us and tells me to take whatever I want.

After our breakfast in bed, Edward takes the tray downstairs while I hop in the shower.

I'm shampooing my hair when he knocks on the door. "Bella?"

"Come in," I tell him.

He steps in and closes the door behind him. "Um, are you planning on coming with me today? I mean, meeting my parents?"

"I've met them before, Edward," I answer him. "Of course I'm going to come with you."

"But, what about the baby? Esme is going to notice. She has a sixth sense for these things."

Popping my head out of the frosted shower curtain, I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Um," he stutters. His eyes wander down and his crooked smile appears on his face.

I look down to see what he is looking at and then realize that I've pulled the curtain back too far, exposing my upper body. And he's smiling 'cause he can see the bump.

Edward has seen me naked before, granted, not hundred's of times, but enough that I'm comfortable exposing myself in front of him.

"Do you want to touch?"

His eyes pop up to mine before he responds, "Really?"

"Yeah," I tell him, reaching out for his arm. He slowly comes over, and I take his hand and place it on my belly.

"It's hard."

"Funny, that's what Alice said."

His eyes linger on my belly before they move up, and Edward starts blushing.

My hand moves to touch the heat on his face, before tugging and pulling him closer to mine.

"Kiss me," I whisper.

His lips brush against mine and I can feel his hands snake around my body, pulling himself closer and further into the shower.

Before we know it, Edward is in the shower with me, his sweatpants and t-shirt drenched and our desperate hands trying to remove them.

Once he is naked, our bodies crash against each other. Edward hitches my leg on his hip and dips his body. And that's all it takes.

Edward makes love to me in the shower, then my bed before we finally get dressed and ready for his family's Thanksgiving dinner.

I haven't seen Carlisile and Esme in a while, so this should prove to be more than an interesting event.

We are in his car, on our way there when it occurs to me that I need to ask Edward an important question. "Edward, um, what are you going to introduce me as?"

"The mother of my children," he says.

"You mom is going to have a heart attack," I tell him.

"Nah, she'll be happy."

We finally arrive at the Cullens' and walk in to the house hand-in-hand.

"Bella!" Carlisle yells from the living room.

"Hi, Carlisle."

"I didn't expect to see you here," he states, pulling me into a one-armed hug. He steps back and looks down to see Edward's and my hands interlocked.

"Edward," Carlisle greets his son. He gives him the same awkward one-armed hug before turning back to the bar. "What can I get you two crazy kids to drink?"

"Water," we both answer at the same time.

Carlisle pours up some water and raises an eyebrow as he hands us the glasses.

"So, when did you two get together?"

"Edward! Bella!" a feminine voice calls from the other side of the room.

"Mom," Edward responds. He drops my hand and hugs his mom. The sight is very heartwarming.

"Esme, so good to see you again." I offer my hand but she pushes it aside and gives me a huge hug instead.

"Oh, my, God," she whispers in my ear. She pulls back, holding on to my arms and glides up and down my body.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle becomes concerned seeing the look of shock plastered on her face.

"Edward," she growls.

_Damn, that didn't take long._

"Mother," he hisses.

"Kitchen, now!" she screams at him.

"Esme," I call as she continues along her warpath to the kitchen. "It's my fault that you didn't know before now, so if you want to get angry with anyone, it should be me."

She turns, staring at me and then flips her glare to Edward.

"What the hell is going on?" Carlisle asks.

I turn to him and smile. "I'm pregnant with Edward's baby."

Carlisle's face now mirrors the same shocked look that his wife has.

* * *

**A/N: Hmm, wonder what Esme will have to say to Edward.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

_**Thanks to my lovely beta's Niki & Sarah for their awesome beta skills and making sense out of my words.**_

_**

* * *

**_

EPOV

"Mom, I've told you everything," I whine. "Now, can you just drop this so we can eat?"

Esme has trapped me away from Bella, in the kitchen, after kicking Alice and Jasper out, who were only helping her get the food ready.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you mean to tell me that you knocked up Bella and didn't find out about it until just the other day?" she screeches at me.

"Esme, it's my fault." At the doorway to the kitchen is Bella, and she is fighting back the tears in her eyes.

I move to her, take her in my arms and hug her. She is holding back her emotions, which I know have been all over the place.

"Bella, dear, I'm sorry. This is just a bit of a shock. The last we heard you were in New York. Then we come here for Thanksgiving and find you here, and pregnant, with Edward's baby. It's a lot to take in."

Bella sniffs, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Esme, he really didn't know. No one did. I've been selfish and scared, but I am working on correcting that."

"Shh," I whisper to Bella, rubbing her back. "Everything's going to be ok." I kiss her head and give her a squeeze before pulling back to look at her.

Esme sniffs.

"Mom," I groan.

"It's just so sweet," she cries.

"What the hell?" Carlisle asks, bursting into the room.

He sees mom and moves to take her in his arms, mimicking my position. Our girls are sniffing as we look at each other with a shy grin.

We finally make it to the table to eat, Jasper and Alice snickering as they try and control their laughter about what is going on.

"Best Thanksgiving ever," Alice whispers to Jasper.

Dinner starts out with a slight uncomfortable silence before Alice starts to ramble about school. Soon, we are all talking and the subject of us expecting is bubbling to the surface.

"So, will you two get married?" Esme cheerfully asks.

"Not this again," Bella grumbles under her breath.

"Mother, we just got back together. We haven't had time to talk about marriage," I explain.

Bella sighs and turns to look at me. I give her a soft smile and continue to eat.

Burying the subject again, we finish dinner and have our desert and coffee making a break before escaping while Esme and Carlisle are in the kitchen together.

"Mom and Dad are going to kill you for skipping out," Alice warns me.

"Yeah, but I don't care enough to hear her lectures or line of questions that _I_ don't even know the answer to," I reply.

Bella and Jasper hug goodbye and are whispering to each other, causing Bella to start sniffling again.

We finally leave and make it all the way back to Bella's house before my phone rings.

"Esme?"

"Yeah."

"Just talk to her."

"I'm not in the mood."

Bella huffs as I park.

I sigh before explaining further, "I would just like to know the answer to the same questions that she is asking."

"I know, and we will get to those. But first, sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

I lead Bella into her house, and up to her room. We get undressed and snuggle under the covers together.

In the silence of the room, the even breathing of a sleeping Bella is the only noise that I am concentrating on. She is snuggled against me, her head on my naked chest, her arm draped across my stomach.

As I start to drift off, I feel more at peace than I have over the past four months, but there is still a level of anxiousness looming on the edge of this peace as thoughts of talking about our future together tomorrow filter through my head.

_**BPOV**_

Edward and I wake up after a most interesting Thanksgiving and just start talking.

We talk about what we see happening in the next five years, ten years and beyond. We play the 'what if' game. We tell each other about some of our fears.

The one thing we don't talk about is how both of us are in this together; it's self-implied. And just the thought that we are on the same page about being together makes me smile.

We talk about the baby, the next five months and all the things we need to do to prepare.

We continue talking, and don't stop until mid-afternoon as we trying to come to some decisions.

"Grey."

"Black."

"Silver."

"Blue."

"Blue."

"So, you're okay with this?" Edward asks.

"Yeah, I mean, I can't really drive the Jeep once I start to get big," I answer.

Edward grins, knowing that he won the conversation about buying me a new car. He loves the Jeep, but wants to have something that will give me some safety and be functional after the baby is born.

"We are keeping the Jeep as a third vehicle," I tell him. He doesn't argue.

He suggests an Audi. And I tell him only if it's the Q7. _Yeah, I won that side of the argument_.

"I don't know when I'm going to be able to get back up here before Christmas," he whispers.

"I'll come to Seattle," I tell him.

We have two more days before he has to leave to go back to school on Sunday. With only a month left to the semester, I know that he will be studying which will leave little time for me.

In a sense, it's a good thing. We can talk on the phone, expanding on our relationship, filling the gaps that I created by running away, and I can spend time pulling myself together with counseling.

"I have to find an OB-GYN and we need to find a place to live," I continue.

He blinks, looking at me with wide emerald eyes.

"You're…" he begins to stutter.

"I need some time, to think and see the counselor that Jasper recommended, but I know my ultimate goal, to be with you in Seattle, as a family. But I need to be better for you, for our baby and our future."

"Bella, you know that we are going to be happy," Edward says, more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah."

Before I know it, it's Sunday evening, and I'm alone, waiting on Edward to call me to let me know that he got back okay. I plop down on the couch and start flipping through the channels on the TV.

I'm lonely, and every fiber of my being wants to be with Edward in Seattle.

The doorbell rings, pulling me from the tip of sadness. I open the door to find Emmett standing as far back from the door as possible.

"Rose made me come," he grumbles. Emmett looks beaten down, his posture is slumped and his face is fallen and sad.

"You came, so if you want, you can go. I don't need to be lectured, Emmett."

"I'm not here to lecture you," he says, sighing. "Rose has done enough of that."

I hold in a laugh just remembering that I haven't even talked to Rose yet.

I bite my lip and extend the first olive branch, opening the door and giving Emmett the option of coming in.

He looks up at me, smiling softy before walking into the house.

A few hours later, and many tears shed between us, most of our issues are out on the table.

I've been doing a lot of talking over the last several days, almost all with Edward. But talking with Emmett, I'm going deeper and facing the pain of my past head-on, in a different way.

Emmett doesn't ask why I left, I'm sure he knows that I was scared. Still am, if I'm being honest. But he just talks, telling me about his issues with mom. He saw more things. He noticed something was wrong.

He was sad, but put on a strong front for me, giving what support I would allow him to give. He didn't blame me for closing in on myself, and he didn't blame me for not being there for him either.

We finally get to a point where we are laughing about everything, bringing smiles to our faces as we wipe our tears away. I make a point to move the conversation, bringing us back to the present.

"Getting married?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have a date set?"

"August 25."

"Am I invited?" I joke.

"Who else is going to stand up next to Rose and make goofy faces at me as we say our vows?" Emmett teases.

I give him a 'who me?' look and even go so far as to play by putting my hands to my chest. He nudges my shoulder with his, trying to get me to stop.

After Emmett leaves, I end up going up to bed, taking my cell phone with me, relaxing and waiting for Edward's phone call.

The next couple of days pass slowly, and I find myself in my studio in the house, painting random images. Knowing that I might go stir crazy sitting around thinking about my problems, I take the initiative and make an appointment with the counselor for Wednesday.

Dr. Nahuel's office is located in his house. With the directions, I make my way easily, parking on the street in front of the house.

I take a deep breath, walk up on the porch and ring the doorbell.

"You must be Bella?"

A young with a dark complexion is holding the door open for me.

"Dr. Nahuel?" I stumble over his name.

"Yes, come in please."

He's really young, younger than I expected. Jasper must be older than this guy.

"Um, I don't mean to sound rude, but how long have you been in practice?"

"Seven years."

My eyes widen, wondering what this guy uses to keep his youth and if he sells that secret.

"Youthful looks run in my family," he says, smiling.

I give him a smile back, reminding myself once again not to judge a book by its cover.

Entering the house, I realize that we are in some sort of mudroom, and there is a flight of stairs and one door. He leads and I follow, entering through the one door.

The room we enter is immediately comforting. The walls are painted a deep tan, and there is a tropical red, green and tan rug covering most of the rustic maple wood floor. There are bean bags, a rocking chair, two leather couches, an oversized chair and ottoman and a large oversized coffee table in the middle of the odd arrangement of furniture.

"Please, sit where you feel most comfortable," he says, motioning for me to take a seat.

I review my options again, and opt for the oversized chair, taking a seat and propping my feet onto the ottoman.

He smiles and takes a seat in the rocking chair. There is a notebook on the coffee table that he picks up, placing it in his lap, opening it up and clicking his pen.

"So, Bella," he begins.

Two hours later, I'm sniffling and dabbing my puffy eyes with tissues while thanking Dr. Nahuel and scheduling another appointment for Friday.

I end up seeing Dr. Nahuel that Friday, and the following Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

He listens as I talk, pouring out everything I have been holding over the past ten years. He interjects, asking questions, pulling more from me than I thought I could give. Leaving me at the end of each session, emotionally drained, but enlightened from the experience.

On the second Friday, I leave his house, walking to my Jeep, my bag packed in the back, ready to make the trip to Seattle to see Edward for the weekend.

I'm not sniffling as bad today, but I'm still emotionally spent from the session.

What I don't expect to see is Felix parking behind me and stepping out of his car.

"Bella?"

"Felix?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I-I'm," I stutter. "A patient of Dr. Nahuel. You?"

"I've been a patient of his for the past eight months."

"Wow," I whisper.

"Yeah." He rubs the back of his neck, unsure of what to say.

Hell, I don't even know what to say. Dr. Nahuel and I have discussed that I have slept with married men and we have worked on delving deeper into why I did such things. I didn't think I would have to face one of them so soon. I take the awkward silence and use it for my exit.

"Um, listen, I gotta get going. It was nice seeing you, Felix." I start to make my way to my Jeep, pulling my keys from my purse.

"Bella?" he asks as I pass him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"I know, so am I. But if it makes you feel better, I'm finding my happy place, and it's with Edward," I explain. My hands naturally move to my stomach, just thinking about Edward makes me connect to thinking about our baby.

"Wait, are you?"

"Yes," I proudly answer.

He congratulates me and offers to meet me at some point in the future to talk more. There are things that we should say to each other, and I can tell that he is containing his thoughts.

Once I arrive in Seattle, I call Edward who tells me to meet him at his apartment. He lives very close to campus, walking distance, in a small brick building. I climb the two flights of stairs to his apartment and find Edward's door slightly open when I arrive. There is soft jazz playing and smells wafting out, making me hungry even though I just ate less than an hour ago.

"Hello?" I say, knocking on his door.

The door swings open and I am happy to see a smiling Edward, dish towel slung over his shoulder, grey t-shirt and low hung blue jeans. As I look at him from top to bottom, I can't help but smile when I see his footwear: white socks and flip-flops.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing," I giggle. He launches himself at me, pulling me in and shutting the door behind us. Immediately I'm against the back of the door, Edward's hands on either side of my face, and a crooked smile on his.

"Do you find something funny, Bella." He slowly pronounces my name, making it impossible to miss his full lips in motion. I lick my own in the anticipation of tasting him again.

"Did you miss me?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

He leans forward dipping his head to runs his lips along my neck, "Mmm, I did."

Edward peppers kisses on my skin, his tongue peaking out to taste between quiet whispers that are more like mumbles. I would love to know what he is saying, but his ministrations are causing my body to heat and my mind to turn to mush.

"Edward," I purr, as his teeth start to nip at my wet skin.

He moans but keeps his course of torture.

"Where's your bedroom?"

He lifts his head slowly, making his way to my chin and finally to my mouth, hovering there. "Over there."

"Not that I'm against you taking me against the door, but I prefer something softer, for the sake of my back," I explain.

He kisses me, moving his hands to tangle them in my hair, gripping and pulling me closer to him.

Breaking our passionate kiss, he rests his forehead on mine. "Dinner first, ravaging you second."

Then he abruptly gets down on his knees and starts talking to the baby, kissing the ever growing bump and nuzzling his nose.

The sight of him makes me smile. I run my fingers through his hair as he takes his time. My belly grumbles causing Edward and I to laugh.

"Guess I need to feed you," he whispers to the baby.

He eventually gets up and gives me the ten-cent tour before bringing us to the kitchen. He has a lasagna resting on top of the stove, and a cute little table that is nicely set, including a little flower arrangement and candles.

Later that night, we are both awake in bed, after two rounds of lovemaking, naked and spooning. We are talking, but about nothing in particular when he starts asking about my counseling.

I explain to him some of what I've talked about and some suggestions that Dr. Nahuel has made: being truthful and expressing my feelings.

We continue to talk, but my yawning reminds both Edward and myself that I need some rest. As I'm drifting, Edward is quietly telling me things, encouraging me to sleep. Just as I'm entering that state of almost asleep, I swear that I hear him whisper 'marry me'.

The next day we meet Alice and Jasper for lunch before doing some Christmas shopping. We end up getting take-out and spending the rest of the weekend holed up in his apartment.

Our separation this time isn't as bad as a few weeks ago. My emotions are starting to level out and it will only be a week and a half before Edward wraps up his classes and comes back to stay with me at my house in Forks for the holiday season.

Upon returning to Forks, I realize that I need to work on my other relationships that have suffered from my selfishness.

"Hi, Rose." Rose is standing at the front door of her parent's house, phone wedged between her ear and shoulder, and a somewhat pissed off look on her face.

She gives me a small smile and motions for me to come in as she continues her conversation on the phone.

I silently follow her in.

Rose and I have always had an easy relationship, almost like a big sister/little sister. It's probably a good thing that she is marrying Emmett.

I take a seat in the living room on the large couch as Rose finishes her phone call.

"It took you long enough," she sneers at me.

"Sorry?" I offer.

"About?"

She asks, so I tell her. I tell her I'm sorry about leaving, not being there to help celebrate their engagement, and about not talking to her when I returned. When I called Emmett that day and we argued on the phone. I figured that Rose would be mad too and decided just to give it some time.

"I'm still mad, but I'm happy that you are safe and that you are working on your issues," Rose responds.

We talk some more, but my tears and emotions are not as overwhelming as when I talked with Alice. I'm more than relieved.

Rose and I make plans to talk weekly; she wants to keep up on the progress of the baby, especially after the new year when I plan to return to Seattle for school.

The week moves fast and I'm reduced to only two sessions this week with Dr. Nahuel with the promise of at least one if not two the week of Christmas.

I've never been big on celebrating Christmas and I've never had to decorate my own house before. So I choose to forgo a tree, but still get a few decorations to make the house festive for Edward's visit.

Edward drives straight from Seattle after his last test of the semester. It's close to five when he arrives, and I've tried to time everything perfectly for the start of our first Christmas holiday together.

He nods at the decorations as he comes into my house. My wreath is on the door, along with the tacky doormat to welcome him, as I stand in the doorway, wearing one of the biggest smiles on my face. But I know exactly what he is thinking as he looks around. I have been in the Cullen house during the holidays. Esme takes her little Santa bag, squeezes it and makes Christmas throw up all over her house, inside and out.

He just smiles and pulls me in for a kiss under the fake mistletoe I have hanging in the front hallway.

"Did you do this all by yourself?" he teases me.

"I might have," I answer him, smiling wickedly. "Just wait till you see the new sheets I bought."

He cocks an eyebrow at me, and starts moving us backwards to the stairs.

"Hmm, I believe I need to see the 'new sheets' in order to judge them properly."

I nod my head as we reach the bottom of the stairs, and he takes my hand pulling me behind him.

Once in my bedroom, he looks around to see I have a few candles lit and dark green satin sheets on the bed. I've prepared the room right before he got here, pulling the covers back, fluffing the pillows, closing the blinds, and lighting the candles.

Instead of the crying and emotional Bella that Edward has been privy too, he is about to be introduced to the newly super horny pregnant Bella.

The other morning, I woke up and it was like a light switch had been flipped. I wasn't the emotional wreck and tired pregnant lady. I was the 'where's the cock' super-horny-pregnant lady.

I spent time devising a plan to introduce the 'new pregnant me' to Edward. I went shopping, bought a sheer pregnancy nightgown that I'm wearing under my loose t-shirt and sweatpants. It is a unique find; it's fitted to hug my body, but made out of stretchy material so as I get bigger, it grows with me. It's sheer, dark green, almost the same color of the sheets, and I've decided to make it easier on Edward and just not wear anything else underneath it. _Underwear is overrated anyway._

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." I nudge Edward further into the room and leave to step into the bathroom to take off the t-shirt and the sweatpants.

Taking a deep breath, I return to the bedroom to find Edward sitting on the bed, looking lost as he stares at one of the candles.

I clear my throat to get his attention. His head turns to me, as I'm posing in the doorway, seductively smiling.

I've reached a very critical point in my pregnancy: the overkill sex-drive. With Edward not being around, I've been reduced to taking matters into my own hands, literally, all the while thinking of Edward.

At this point I'm about to explode with desire, and I just hope Edward is up for the task of satisfying my needs.

I pad my way over to him, swaying my hips and licking my lips. A small sound falls from his mouth, sounding something like a whimper.

Stepping between Edward's legs, he wraps his arms around me, nuzzling his face into my belly. He begins to pepper kisses against my ever-growing belly and rubs my back, causing me to moan.

He moves to the hem of the nightgown, pulling and pushing up, where I take the useless material over my head. His hands move from my back to my ass, kneading and rubbing in a circuit, with each pass coming closer to my wet core.

"Edward," I purr, as he inserts a finger, coating and rubbing.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember that Edward is still dressed. I move my hands, pulling at his sweater. Once it's over his head, we work together to get his pants off.

We find ourselves back with Edward perched at the edge of the bed. His cock is hard and pre-cum is on the tip. I reach down and stroke him, as I push his legs together and straddle him. He moves back further onto the bed to where the backs of his knees are at the stopping point. I lift and move over him, positioning him at my entrance as my knees bend and settle at his sides.

I lower my body and Edward holds my hips, guiding me. We both moan at the sensation as we join, my body already pulsing with every moment. Our bodies move rhythmically, sweat starting to form on my skin, Edward holding tight, guiding and filling me over and over again.

A sheen of sweat is forming on Edward, his groans and grunts as I ride him are music to my ears, one of my hands steady on his shoulders.

"Fuck, yes!" I scream.

After we both find our release, we lie in bed, our tangled limbs and our skin cooling, as we hold each other, forgetting about the food that I have prepared and any other things that we want to discuss.

Christmas morning arrives and I awake to an empty bed and the smell of food. I lazily get out of bed, put on my robe and slippers before making my way downstairs.

I head towards the kitchen, the logical choice since I'm hungry. As I pass the living room, something I see out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. At first, I tell myself not to stop and turn around because my eyes are playing tricks on me. But then I do, and what I see, takes my breath away.

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**A/N: Sorry about the cliffy, I know as a reader that I hate those. So, a bit of time jumping there, and if you haven't sensed it, we are nearing the end. One to two chapters more, but more like one, then the epi. Hope this chapter didn't disappoint you. Let me know what you think.**

**And for any writers, if you are interested, Dirty Cheeky Monkeys is hosting a writing exercise called 'Squeeze My Lemon' to help writers focus on the lemon and work specifically on that aspect, using a picture prompt. DCM is on my favs & they have a blog www(dot)dirtycheekymonkeys(dot)blogspot(dot)com.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

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BPOV

"Wow," I gasp.

The living room has been transformed. There is a fully lit and decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room. The rest of the lights are off, and there are candles burning with a soft glow on every surface in the room.

For about three seconds, I think I'm still asleep and possibly dreaming; so I rub my eyes and blink before looking back at the scene before me.

Edward is sitting on the couch and lets out a small laugh before motioning for me to come sit.

I don't remember my legs moving, but the next thing I know, I'm sitting on the couch with Edward.

He looks nervous and is fidgeting with his hands. The look in his eyes as he gazes at me is nothing but pure love. Wanting to ease his discomfort, I place my hand on his cheek and give him a soft smile.

Edward takes a deep breath, relaxing from my touch, and then takes my hand away from his face. He gathers my other hand and holds them together in his lap.

"We've been talking a lot recently: talking about our future together, the baby and blending our lives. You've taken some serious steps in freeing yourself of your emotional issues, and in just a few short weeks, I've noticed that you have opened up to me more, giving yourself, and you are trusting me.

"I've thought long and hard about us, and what I'm about to do could very well backfire on me. So please keep an open mind and remember to _trust_ me."

He looks like he is between passing out and throwing up, but I give his hand a squeeze and he takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he starts. "I know that I can't live my life without you. Having you as my wife would complete me in ways I never knew that I wanted or needed. I'm asking you to marry me, be my wife, and take the journey in becoming a family. Please."

I shed a few silent tears as Edward lets go of my hands and reaches behind him, pulling a little box, and opens it to reveal a diamond ring.

It is stunning, an Edwardian white gold ring with three stones nestled into an engraved top. I reach out and finger it as it sits in the black box.

This is such a big moment, for me, for Edward, and for our future. I have changed, and from Edward's own mouth, for the better. Emotionally I still have some work to do, but I've learned to _trust_ Edward. And I love him, even though it has taken an odd path to get us to this point in our relationship. Between hating him at the first rude words that came from his mouth, to the love that is radiating from him right now as he sits nervously, waiting to hear my answer, I have no doubt what my answer will be.

"Yes," I whisper.

"Yeah?" Edward asks.

My eyes rise to find his, and I blink to clear the moisture that is building there.

"Yes," I loudly tell him.

Before I can wipe away my tears, I'm pulled into Edward's arms, his mouth on mine, and his hands fisting into my messy hair.

He breaks our kiss, our foreheads resting together. "I love you, Bella." His hand moves to my bump, "And I love our baby. Thank you for making us a family."

He doesn't quite understand that it is him that is making us a family. I've been the roadblock in our relationship. He needs to know this.

"Edward, you're the reason I can say yes. You're the reason that we can be a family. The faith that you have in me, in us, in our baby, is never ending. I trust you, implicitly and by you asking me to be your wife, it solidifies that you trust me too."

"I've always trusted you, Bella. I just don't think you have trusted yourself."

I don't think about what he just said, because he's right. But I'm learning to.

EPOV

Bella said yes.

The ring slides on her finger, a perfect fit.

We are going to be a family. I'm going to be married.

_Holy shit!_

But I want this; I want to be a family more than anything.

"When?" I ask.

"Um, is Monday too soon? We could go down to the courthouse and just be married by a judge," Bella explains.

"Hell no, Monday isn't too soon, but don't you think everyone might like to be a part of this?"

"Yeah, but I really don't want to make a big deal out of getting married. I've already put everyone through so much. A wedding would just make me feel worse."

She lowers her head, hiding from the guilt she feels.

"Hey." I place my hand under her chin, raising her eyes to meet mine. "Don't do this to yourself. We can do whatever you want."

She sniffs and looks back down. Then I realize that she is looking at the ring on her finger, and not that she is hiding from me.

"I don't ever want to take it off."

"You don't have to."

"Yeah, if we are going to get married Monday, I can't wear this to your family's house later. Esme and Alice are going to demand a real wedding," she explains.

I sigh and nod knowing that what she is saying is right. We would never escape.

Later we find ourselves on one of the couches in my family's house, staring at a tree that has so many lights on it that it is giving off enough heat to warm us. My family, along with Emmett and Rose, are here, stuffed and sated after a huge Christmas dinner.

Alice is perched on Jasper's lap and is staring at us. I'm not sure what she is thinking, but if I were to bet, she is trying to see the future.

Bella has been quiet since we arrived, a shy smile on her face as she rubs a spot below her breasts where my ring is. We thought of a way for her to wear it without it being seen by our families. She used a long necklace and wore it inside her blouse, nestled against her skin. I would be an idiot to think that Alice hasn't noticed that.

We enjoy sitting around the tree and opening presents before the evening comes to an end. We head back to Bella's house and enjoy each other as Christmas day comes to a close.

The next morning we check to make sure that the government offices are going to be open tomorrow, and figure out what information we need to make this quick.

As Bella is sifting through a box of papers trying to find her birth certificate, the front doorbell rings. I leave her and answer it, only to find Alice and Jasper.

"Hey, Sis."

"Don't hey me, Edward," Alice sneers.

"What?"

"She thinks something is going on with you and Bella," Jasper snickers. "Like you're going to elope or something."

I feign shock, because acting at this point is the only option.

"I've found it!" Bella yells from the other room.

"Found what?" Alice growls at me.

I shrug and make my way back to Bella, with Alice hot on my heels.

We bump into each other as I enter the room, and I take her in my arms and whisper quickly in her ear about our guests.

"Hi, Alice," Bella cheerfully greets her.

Alice stares at her.

Jasper moves to stand behind Alice, rubbing his hands along her arms, trying to keep her calm.

"What?" Bella asks.

I bet Alice and Bella have had these stare downs before. I wonder this time who will win.

"Spill," Alice sweetly requests.

"No," Bella states.

"Do I need to call Rose?"

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

Five days later, we find ourselves in the backyard of my parent's house in Grand Estates, having an informal New Year's Eve wedding.

Alice ended up calling Rose, who brought Emmett, who played the family card that causes Bella to cave.

We gave Alice a week. She arranged everything in five days.

I'm standing at the end of a makeshift isle, only four total seats in the yard. The two on the right contain my mom next to an empty seat, and the two on the left are occupied by Jacob and R.C. The wedding party is bigger than the guest list.

Charlie couldn't make it, but sent an envelope, which we are waiting to open when we return to Seattle.

Soft piano music fills the cool air as Jasper escorts Rose from the house, closely followed by Carlisle linked with Alice. The girls take their places opposite me as Jasper takes a seat next to my mother. Carlisle stands beside me, as my best man.

The music changes slightly as Bella emerges with Emmett and make their way to where I stand. She is stunning, my breath catches in my throat as I watch her smiling and gazing at me with love and devotion. I've only been away from her for a short five hours, but somehow she has changed. I wonder if her belly has gotten bigger or if the rose tint to her creamy skin is from the happiness that she is exuding.

BPOV

A wedding wasn't something I would ever allow myself to think about. I was the girl that never saw herself as the marrying kind, so when Edward proposed, I was scared at first, but it didn't take me long to have my brain figure out that marrying him would be the right decision for us and that there was nothing to be scared about when it comes to Edward.

I didn't however think that Alice would have figured out what happened on Christmas morning.

_How does she always know?_

But she did, and after bringing in Emmett, who was mad that I didn't tell him, reminding me once again about hiding things from him, demanded that he walk me down the aisle.

The water forming in his eyes didn't help in retaining my stand.

Alice promised me it wasn't a big deal, just an entertaining portion to a New Year's Eve dinner with family.

She did a wonderful job with the wedding—simple, elegant and small.

After the wedding, we locked ourselves in my house for a few days before having to pack up everything I needed in order to return to school.

Those days in my house were bliss. Edward and I were wrapped up with each other, literally. Somehow being married made him revert back to a teenager and he was finally able to keep up with my increased libido.

Before leaving, I made a series of appointments with Dr. Nahuel, some that were going to be over the phone and several during a few weekends here and there. I agreed with him that if I couldn't keep my appointments, that I needed to find someone in Seattle to see. After all that he had helped me with, I couldn't see myself going to another counselor.

We returned to Seattle, and I settled into Edward's apartment. School started, and it was interesting to see how much more time I needed to give myself in order to get to campus and into a classroom. Apparently a growing belly can be a hindrance to walking quickly.

And since I have the smaller class load including more studio time than study time, I'm given the task of putting our lives together and in order: find a house, move, and preparing for the baby.

I didn't mind. I was happy to be a contributing factor in our new marriage.

First step: finding a place to live.

We realized when I moved in with Edward that his place was too small and definitely not the place we wanted to raise a baby. It was the first thing that we discussed the very first night back.

There are tons of places to choose from in Seattle, and after a few days of groaning while researching online, I angrily answer the phone as I sit at Edward's kitchen table with the laptop open and the search engines going crazy.

"_Bella?"_ a sweet voice asks on the other end of the line.

"Esme, I'm sorry. I thought you were Edward," I explain.

"_It's alright, dear. I understand that you and Edward are looking for a new place to live in Seattle?"_

"Yeah," I tentatively answer. _How does she find out about these things? It must be a Cullen thing._

"_Did Edward not tell you?"_

"Tell me what?"

"_He came into his full trust fund when you two got married."_

_Gulp._

"He has a trust?"

"_Yeah, guess he forgot about it."_

"So what does this have to do with us finding a new place to live?"

"_You don't worry about price anymore."_

_Gulp._

So with my new found information, and a scary number floating around in my head, I find us a place.

A month and a half later, we have moved in and I am filling the house with furniture for the baby's room.

A desire to paint a special piece on one of the walls in the baby's room becomes an obsession which ultimately leads to Edward finding me sitting in the darkened room on the floor in the middle of the night.

We have only been in the house a week, but I can't help but staring at the wall, trying to figure out what images I want to put on this wall; a wall that our baby will see every day and every night.

"Bella, come back to bed," Edward whispers. He sits down behind me on the floor, placing his legs on either side of me, pulling me back onto his bare chest.

My body relaxes, molding into his as he snakes his arms around me, placing his hands on my belly.

"Still thinking about what to paint?"

"Yeah."

He sighs as he rubs my belly, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin. The baby kicks.

"I'll never get over feeling that," I tell him.

Our hands continue to rub my belly, both of us enjoying the baby kicking and our moment of bliss.

As the baby kicks, my mind comes to a place of clarity and I make my decision on what I am going to put on this blank wall in front of us.

A vision of blues and greens fill my head, a landscape of trees and a flower covered meadow. The sun peaking out at the edge, where you don't know whether it's morning or night.

I describe my vision to Edward. He smiles and eventually drags me back to bed, where my dreams are filled with us as a family spending a day in the meadow from my vision.

The next few weeks are filled with furniture shopping, and more time spent in baby stores than I ever want to admit to spending.

The mural is completed; the room is full of beautiful furniture. All we need now is a baby.

May arrives, and with it the end of the school year. Edward is exhausted from classes, and chooses to take a few summer courses to help ease the load in the fall.

I fill each day with activities, trying to get everything done before the baby arrives.

One week overdue and we find ourselves in the doctor's office, scheduling an induction for Monday morning. The word scares me.

Edward squeezes my hand in the doctor's office, reminding me once again that he is with me during this process and that I have nothing to worry about.

After the doctor's office, we settle in for a simple evening—dinner and watching a movie. I end up taking a hot bath, enjoying the way the water relaxes my muscles.

It's not too late in the night but we snuggle together in bed anyway.

A couple of hours later, my body is introduced to a sharp pain, one like I have never felt before.

My eyes pop open and I stare into the blackness of our room, willing my mind not to think.

My eyes close again.

A few minutes go by.

Another sharp pain.

This time when my eyes fly open, I focus on the red numbers on my nightstand.

Counting.

Another sharp pain.

_Oh wow._

"Edward," I whisper. I push his arm, hoping to wake him, but not scare him.

"Edward!" I whisper yell. He finally moves, groaning and shifting in the bed.

"Bella," he grumbles. "Is everything okay?"

The next sharp pain waves through my body, causing me to hiss.

"Bella?" he voice is filled with panic as he shoots up in the bed.

"It's time."

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_**A/N: ****Well, so this is the last chapter. The Epi is almost complete and I hope to have up soon. This has been such a growing experience writing this story. I've learned too much about commas, which I still hate. I appreciate everyone reading and reviewing. Special thanks to A & V for encouraging me to write and post.**_

_**Also a huge thanks to Project Team Beta who connected me with Niki and Sarah who have been making my messed up words into something that you can read. I really appreciate all that you two have done and will miss working with you.**_

_**I encourage you, if you have an idea, to write. Write for the pleasure that it brings you. I have, and this little story was the start it all.**_


	20. Epilogue Part 1

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

**Sorry on the delay on these. This is part one. Part two will be posting later tonight. More below.**

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EPILOGUE-Part 1

EPOV

I'm six months into my new job as Dr. Edward Cullen at one of Seattle's best hospitals. Tired from a thirty-six hour shift, I drag my tired body wearing my second pair of scrubs back to our house.

It's the middle of the afternoon and I am praying that everything is under control so that I can get some sleep.

When I pull into the driveway, the garage door is down and there are no toys in the driveway or yard.

_Well, so far, so good._

I quietly unlock the front door and enter, toeing off my shoes.

_Wow, very quiet._

Up the stairs I proceed, looking for signs of life in the house.

The door to our bedroom is open, the sun beaming into the dark hallway.

I step into the doorway and stop dead in my tracks. Lying on the bed under a canopy of sunlight from the skylights that are scattered in the room is Bella. She is on her side, back facing the door.

I tiptoe through the room to see what is happening on the bed.

As I approach, I gasp at the beautiful sight before me, Bella asleep on her side, her breasts exposed and a soft expression on her face. Our beautiful daughter is nestled against her, sucking happily on her exposed breast.

I've never seen something so stunning.

I walk around the bed and sit down in the oversized chair that we have next to the bed, staring and taking in the lovely sight before me. My mind wanders back to the past few years and everything that has occurred.

After Edward Jr. was born, everything seemed to fall in place. Bella seemed to finally relax, coming into a calm of her own. She still continued her sessions with Dr. Nahuel and was able to make tremendous progress over the years.

EJ's birth was an exciting evening. Once we arrived at the hospital and Bella was admitted, I found myself pacing with Bella up and down the hallways. Walking seemed to be the only way to help her with the pain of the contractions.

She was determined to go for as long as she could without having an epidural.

We continued walking, and I managed to call the family to let them know that we were at the hospital.

Eight hours later, were back in our room, epidural in Bella's body and pushing for our baby.

At 11:54 A.M., Edward Anthony Cullen, Jr. was born. He was 8 lbs and 3 oz. and 22 inches long. He was flush pink, the same skin tone that Bella has when she blushes. His hair matched mine but his eyes were the same deep brown of his mother's.

The family was happy, enjoying passing EJ around, cooing and shedding tears of joy. It wasn't until we heard a new voice entering the room that everyone, especially Emmett, cried harder.

"Dad?" Bella quietly asked.

Charlie smiled in the doorway of her room and stepped through. His eyes were darting from Bella to me to everyone else around the room, moving until he found the one new person in his life.

"Is that my," he started, choking back tears. "My grandson?"

"Yeah."

EJ was being held by Emmett and I found it rather fitting that he was the one to pass EJ into Charlie's arms.

Charlie held him as though he was the most precious thing on the face of the earth and looked up at Bella and myself, fighting his tears before speaking.

"He's beautiful, Bella."

"Thanks, Dad."

Charlie stayed in town for two weeks and was over at the house everyday after we were released from the hospital.

Through the next year, Bella managed to finish school, and produce enough new pieces to have her very own gallery showing after finishing her graduate degree. I was beyond proud to see all of her work. The colors were all over the place, darks, and lights. All her feelings and passions filled the canvasses.

As medical school continued I felt as though I was going to split in two. Between studying and being married with a newborn, I wasn't sure that I was giving enough time to everything and everybody.

But with my family nearby, I was able to focus. Bella was the key, she pushed me to work hard and told me when it was time to stop and enjoy my family.

We did have our ups and downs. No marriage or relationship is perfect. But we worked through them and held strong together.

Years went by, I graduated and Bella stayed home with EJ, spending her spare time painting.

Then towards the end of my residency, she told me that she was pregnant again. We hadn't been trying for another child, but we weren't always as careful as we could be, passion taking over logical thought.

I remember Bella's unique way of telling me.

She was picking me up from the airport, much like the very first time we met. I had gone to a doctor's conference for a few days and was excited to come home to my wife and son.

Standing at the curb, waiting for Bella to pick me up, I kept checking my watch to see how late she was. Over the years, I had grown to learn that Bella did things on her own time.

Somehow, that was extremely fitting for our relationship.

Then, as I started to pull my phone out and call her, I looked up to see her Jeep coming down the lane.

She was windblown, all the doors and roof off, looking as irresistible as ever in a white sundress and sandals. Her sun-kissed skin glowed against the white of her dress and her hair beamed with small strands of blond highlights.

"Hi," she purred as she pulled up in front of me.

"Hi," I replied.

"How was your trip? The conference?"

"Boring. I'd rather be at home with you and EJ." I looked in the back, car seat gone, prompting me to ask.

"He's with Esme and Carlisle till tomorrow morning," she explained, wiggling her eyebrows from underneath her sunglasses. "I thought we could use a night to ourselves."

She was correct in her assumption. Between my work schedule and everything at home, we were left with little time alone.

Smiling at her, I threw my bag in the back and climbed in. As I was buckling my seatbelt I looked up. Bella had raised her sunglasses onto the top of her head, wearing a grin that begged me to lean over and kiss her. But before I could, she unbuckled and launched herself over, straddling my lap.

"Welcome home, Doctor," she teased. She licked her plump rose tinted lips and leaned in and kissed me.

She was intoxicating, her warm skin and the smell of coconuts consumed me as I kissed her back. My hands wove around her body, pressing her against me.

It was like she knew my fantasy of having her like this the first time we met.

Breaking our kiss, I was breathless, but managed to speak, willing my dick to behave. "Glad to be home, baby."

"Hmm," she hummed. "I like the sound of that, baby."

"You do?" I knew that Bella wasn't really fond of my nicknames for her, but I was always using them, testing some out to see if she would protest.

"Yeah, I think it's appropriate now," she said sweetly. She sat back on my legs and took my hand, placing it on her stomach.

Bella is smiled at me, waiting for me to understand what she was trying to explain. It took me about ten seconds.

"Are you saying that you're pregnant?" I asked.

"Yep, I was late picking you up because I was at the doctor's confirming it," she explained.

I couldn't speak, but chose to kiss her instead, letting her know silently that I was beyond excited. This time it would be different.

Bella's eyes flutter open and a small smile greets me, bringing me out of my train of thought.

"Hi," I whisper.

"Hi," she mumbles sleepily back.

"Where is EJ?" I ask.

"Uncle Em," she explains.

I stand up and come over and lie down on the bed next to my girls. Mary is asleep, mouth still connected loosely to Bella's breast, her mouth nibbling in her sleep.

I stroke her back, she stirs and reattaches firmly, suckling strongly again. Bella hisses slightly as Mary starts to suck harder.

"How long have you two been like this?"

"Just for a couple of hours. I needed some sleep," Bella giggles.

"I can't blame her for staying here like this for hours. It happens to be one of my favorite spots too," I whisper.

She reaches out and strokes my face, giving me a sweet smile.

"I love you, Edward. Thank you for my life," she quietly states.

My eyes water in wonderment at the love of my life telling me all I need to know in just a few short words.

"I love you too."

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**A/N: Thank you to Project Team Beta who connected me with my betas on this story, Niki & Sarah. Thank you ladies for supporting me, guiding me and pushing me to make this story better with every chapter. For those of you that want to write and are looking for a beta, Project Team Beta is a great place to start.**

**Thank for everyone that has read this story, reviewed it and enjoyed it. It has been a learning experience for me. Having wonderful readers makes every chapter a labor of love. Thank you for taking this journey with me.**

**Make sure to put me on author alert. I have a new fic that I'm aiming to have out in February, as well as a new collaboration with luvrofink and the hopeful return of Red Devil.**

**I also am making plans to extend on of my one shots that I have written and I have a pole on my author page to vote on which one you as a reader like best. The pole will be up for all of January.**

**xoxo~CTM**


	21. Epilogue Part 2

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Twilight aren't mine, nor will they ever be.**

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EPILOGUE-Part 2

BPOV

_Fifteen Years from the birth of EJ, EJ is 15 and Mary is 9._

"How much plastic surgery do you think she's had?"

"Enough to make her husband have to work an additional ten years."

"Oh no, he continues to work so he doesn't have to hear her talk all day."

"Bella, you're awful," Rose accuses me.

"It's true. Would you want to hear her whiny voice all day?" I ask.

Rose ponders my question for a moment. "Yeah, I can't stand to look at her, much less hear her talk."

We all laugh and settle back into our chairs, our noses in our books.

It's 4th of July week at Grand Estates and Edward took the whole week off for a small family vacation.

Vacationing along with our family is Alice and Jasper, their twin boys, Robert and Samuel, as well as Rose and Emmett and their daughter, Elizabeth. Carlisle and Esme are here and enjoying all their time with the grandkids.

Rose, Alice and myself are camped out at the pool while the guys are enjoying a round of golf ,and all of our kids are entertaining themselves within Grand Estates.

The three of us have been trying to read our books, but the activity around the pool is as juicy as I remember it.

"Don't act like you all are reading those books," a familiar voice says.

I look up from my book and find Esme smiling down at us. With her white cover-up on and oversized matching white hat, she sits down next to me in the chair that we saved for her.

"How was tennis?" Alice asks.

Esme lowers her glasses to peer at us and frowns.

"That bad?"

"Let's just say I'm ready for that cocktail now."

"Rose?" I ask handing her my glass.

Rose opens the cooler and refills my glass and pours a margarita for Esme.

We catch Esme up on the gossip.

As the giggles progress, our kids filter into the pool, followed by our husbands.

Edward raises an eyebrow at me as I sit there whispering with his mom, no doubt wondering what we are talking about.

_Just smile and wave._

That night I find myself not being able to sleep. I end up wandering outside on the back patio, lounging on one of the couches, staring at the stars that litter the night sky.

"Hey," Alice's voice breaks the silence.

I raise my head and see her walking out onto the patio, lies down and snuggles next to me. "Hey."

Alice sighs. "Can't sleep?"

"Nah," I respond.

"What are you thinking about?"

"It's hard to believe that fifteen years have gone by so quickly."

And it has. I've gone from a scared, emotionally closed off young lady to a confident woman and supportive mother and wife.

It was the oddest thing, but after EJ was born, it was like I had found my place in the world. Everything started to click for me. I don't know if it was the hours of counseling, because God only knows that did help, or at least was the catalyst, but having the trust and love of Edward and my family to focus on seemed to be the real reason things fell into place for me.

Don't get me wrong; it wasn't as easy as it sounds. But finding myself wanted and needed by my husband and child… it just suited me.

It was like the universe put me in my place and said "stay here, this is where you belong."

Those first two years of counseling, I discovered so many things about myself. I learned how sensitive I am, how deep my emotions run for those that I love, and I learned to love and trust myself again.

I try not to look back to my past and my behavior, but it was a part of who I was, and I could never forget. But that didn't mean I had to relive any of it.

Everyone needs some closure. I never got it with my mom. I'm working on it with Charlie.

But I never expected to have closure with other parts of my past. I felt that with my counseling I had put it behind me.

When I was eight months pregnant with Mary I was in Forks for the weekend, visiting with Emmett and Rose. Rose had just had Elizabeth, and she was only two months old. I was determined to spend time with them before our lives got hectic with Mary's birth around the corner.

Taking advantage of still being able to move around, I ran to the store to get some things to make dinner. I was in the produce section, selecting some tomatoes when I saw Felix pushing a cart in my direction.

Turning my whole body, his eyes went wide, taking notice of my protruding belly.

"Number two?"

"Yeah." I blushed for some reason when he asked.

Blushing was something that I did often when I was pregnant. Edward called it 'my glow'.

"Um, so how have you been? I saw that you had a gallery showing at K's in Seattle."

"I'm great actually. You saw that? Where you there?"

"No, I read it in the paper. I was thinking of going down there to see some of your pieces though."

"I think there may be three left at the gallery. But you could always commission something."

He blinked like I'd offered my unborn child to him when all I was doing was trying to sell another piece. "Do you think we could get a cup of coffee? I would really like to talk to you," Felix asked, smiling.

Thirty minutes later, we found ourselves at a new bookstore coffee shop in town.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Have you talked about us with Edward?"

"A little."

"I've talked about it through the years with Dr. Nahuel, and I realized how wrong it was of me to take advantage of you like that," Felix states.

"I'm to blame too. Remember it takes two to tango."

"Yeah, but that doesn't excuse my behavior."

We continue to talk, both of us discussing the past couple of years. Sitting there, I notice that the ease with which we've always conversed with one another is still there.

But there is something else that I notice.

The guilt is gone. The guilt of sleeping with a married man, the feeling that used to crawl along my skin and crush my heart and lungs, making it hard to breathe…just gone.

I knew that the feeling had dissolved over the years with the counseling, but this was the first time that I was forced to come face-to-face with part of my past.

I felt healed, my heart beating strong and my lungs filling with air. I know that I'm not perfect, but I felt complete.

Felix and I said goodbye and as I made my way back to Emmett and Rose's house, I gave Edward a call. I told him about running into Felix and promised to call him later to explain in detail my discovery.

Alice's voice pulls me from my thoughts of the past, "I'm just glad to see you happy, Bella."

"Happy," I mirror her words.

The word used to be foreign to me. But now, it's a great way to describe my life.

After enjoying the quiet, we both make our ways back to our rooms, and I snuggle into bed with Edward. He groans, rolling and pulling me closer to him.

"Everything alright?"

"Everything's perfect."

~The End


End file.
